Monday, June 17, 2013

Monday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a smart little one-liner from RMJ=H in the Allen Iverson post. COTY!!1! Seriously, look at some of the overreactions in the replies. He'll be here all week, folks!

I chuckled at this quick pull from DougExeter in the Raw Sewage post. Nice job. Also, I chuckled at this dumb and adorable comment in the Tree-Climbing Bear post. I'm not sure it's worth a whole internet, but it's pretty good.

Here's a smart joke from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Kerry Rhodes post. Excellent.

Here's a terrific pull from BronzeHammer in the Steve Gleason post. That's great.

Total Fucking Duds

Here's something boring and uninspired from current-events-savvy jackass Smoak on the Water in the Phil Mickelson post. This is not even a little bit better than saying durr hurr YOU SAID CHOKE!

Slow day today. Here's to a busy Tuesday.

Enjoy your evening, you. YOU. Yes, you.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Friday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Moving quickly now . . .

This is great, from Mantis Toboggan, M.D. in the JaVale McGee post. This is at least the second hysterical JaVale McGee joke made by Mantis Toboggan, M.D. Keep 'em coming!

Here's a rather bizarre joke in that same post from BronzeHammer. I laughed.

I chuckled at this straightforward, by-the-numbers joke from Derrick_Roses_Are_Free in the Carl Pettersson post. That is such a familiar delivery, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't work.

This is just ridiculous, from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Jesus Dildo post. This yanked the laugh out of me, and I'm still not sure why.

It's really the terribleness of this joke from Bevraj of Choice that makes it so funny, in the Jesus Dildo post. For crying out loud.

I giggled quite a bit while reading this comment from SavetoFavorites in the Gael Monfils post. I really love this stuff.

For whatever reason, this was the funniest thing I read today, from Raysism in the Human Trafficking post. I'm still chuckling.

And, finally, here's a smart little one-liner from darinh in the Human Trafficking post. This alcoholic loner is a pretty good commenter.

Total Fucking Duds

Here's an excruciating miss from DownhillSherpa in the JaVale McGee post. Oof.

And here's an astonishingly lame one-liner from Fozberry in the Carl Pettersson post. Whoever promoted this thing should have their genitals mangled by a groundhog.

So there you have it. Have a great, great weekend, and thanks for an awesome week full of very good jokes.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Thursday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's an outstanding Henny Youngman-like joke from Bevraj of Choice in the Patriots Stars post. Almost no one can pull this kind of thing off. You need a punchline strong enough to stand up on its own, and you need to absolutely nail the tone. Great, great joke. Very well done. And later, here's a funny line in the DVR post. Yuck.

I chuckled at this dialogue joke from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Patriots Stars post. It's a fairly simple punchline, and the author doesn't add a whole lot of character with the dialogue structure, but the elongated set-up gives him a way to present his punchline without torturing the shit out of a more elegant delivery. Some angles cannot be fit into a shorter joke.

Here's a dig at a hoc-key player from BurnerWilliams2 in the Jaromir Jagr post. I get it! Ha ha! That's really great. [shifty eyes]

This is rather ingenious, from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Clemson Rock post. I needed a minute or two, but I got there. It's really fantastic.

Here's a funny little gag from DougExeter in the DVR post. I am so slow. I had to read this like four times to put it together. And it has seven words! God help me.

Here's a sharp one-liner-ish joke from Mantis Toboggan, M.D. in the Pete Carroll post. This is one of those broad-appeal joke that works with regulars because it's smart and well-made and satisfies boneheads because FUCK PETE CARROLL MAN or FUCK REGGIE BUSH MAN or FUCKIN' FOOTBALL HELL YEAH I GET IT. Anyway, good joke. Well done.

Here's a joke I'm going to include because !!!

And here's another joke I'm going to include because !!!

I enjoyed this dig at Patrick Ewing from Poignant Theater in the Patrick Ewing post. Smart and succinct and well-constructed.

Here's a great offering from cobra, brah! in the Cougar post. More like this, buddy. More like this.

And finally, here's a guilty pleasure joke from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Steelers Subsidy post. Wringing the very last few drops from that particular angle. I wouldn't want to be the next guy approaching that trough.

Total Fucking Duds

As if!

So, I gave Raysism the business for his Jason Whitlock joke in the Tournament today. I should say, though, that all of you competing in that thing deserve a big ol' pat on the back. Standing out as a Deadspin commenter is hard enough without a mandate that you must comment on a particular post. No one (since ToddReesingsTurfFacial) comments on every post. Most commenters take a pass when they don't have something, and in this tournament you have no choice but to participate, and there's even a time limit.

So, though I very strongly disliked both jokes, I sincerely appreciate the guts and talent of everyone participating.

Now, no one else better make any goddamn Whitlock jokes.

Have a fucking fantastic evening.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Wednesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a dynamite one-liner from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Lionel Messi post from this morning. I can't be the only guy who pictures The Amazing Sneijderman as a blond bespectacled northern European intellectual, owing entirely to a clumsy and misinformed preconception of what people named Sneijder must all look like. And later, here's a hilarious sequence from the Schwab Fired post. Those Nordic types are so sharp.

Keeping with that theme, here's another strong one-liner in that same post from darinh, who I have managed to assume is an unkempt alcoholic, with all the attending stereotypical physical characteristics, in much the same way I have visualized virtually all commenters who regularly neglect proper capitalization and punctuation. I also thought this joke in the Goodell Letter post was hilarious. Obviously, darinh knows a thing or two about not being sober.

Here's a funny photoshop job in the Drew on TV post from someone named The_Green_Smile, who I am currently picturing with an abnormally and alarmingly elongated head.

Here's an excellent bit of misdirection from stern-faced Gregory Peck lookalike Steve U in the NFL Gay Pride T-Shirts post. And here's a spectacular one-liner in the MLB-In-Australia post. That's just fantastic. And finally, here's an outstanding, elegant little jab in the Schwab Fired post. Now please tell us how we must never shoot a mockingbird.

Here's a hilarious shot at CNN from Eddie Murray Sparkles that apparently flew right over the head of Tim Burke in the Puerto Rican League Fight post. This joke deserved more attention. And Eddie Murray Sparkles of course looks exactly like his avatar. Later, he cracked me up with this terrific one-liner in the Tennis Channel post. Wonderful.

Here's a long, fun offering from the disgusting, horrifying Rare Endangered Vuvuzela in the Tennis Channel post. This terrific joke provides its own little story arc and a tidy premise/set-up/punchline delivery. And Rare Endangered Vuvuzela looks like something that leapt wetly out of H.P. Lovecraft's worst night terror.

And finally, I chuckled at this quote from DownhillSherpa in that same post. Simple and straightforward. DownhillSherpa strikes me as a crunchy Williamsburg type. Kickball-playing asshole.

Total Fucking Duds

To hell with duds. Who has the energy nowadays? I'll get to them when I can get to them.

Have the best Wednesday night.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

This thread, in the post about Bill Simmons's awful, execrable South Park/Tim Duncan comparison, has several very funny entries. Check it out.

Along those same lines, here's a funny comment from burner kevinnashsquad in the same post. Get yourself an avatar and stick around, guy.

I also particularly enjoyed this clever version of a similar joke from IronMikeGallego in the same post. That's a great pull.

Because I am a moron, I needed more than one try with this excellent one-liner from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Thrown Dog post. That is so good.

Here's a big ol' Idiot joke from Same Sad Echo, also in the Thrown Dog post. The phone noises really punch up the humor here. The whole thing is ridiculous.

Okay, so, I will almost never do this. There's mentioning a reply in the Favorites, and then there's mentioning a Pending in the Favorites, and then there's mentioning a reply to a Pending in the Favorites. The reply from gdsmithtx in the 137 Mentions post made me laugh. Sorry. This will not happen again.

Total Fucking Duds

Here's something regrettable from otherwise solid commenter EditBay in the San Diego Bush Diving post. Oof. Wah-wah (<---sad trombone effect). That's some low-hanging fruit, friend. You don't want to be the guy making the super-obvious joke unless you've got some fancy trick up your sleeve.

I wouldn't normally strenuously recommend you click through to read a Total Fucking Dud, but the subsequent (and well-earned) takedown of this horrible comment from Lana, Lana...LANAAAAAA!!! in the Thrown Dog post is just hysterical. Please follow the link. You will enjoy it.

That's it for tonight. Sorry about yesterday. Forgive me. And have a great night.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a very good one-liner from fatleaveher in the Judge Judy post. Well done.

I also enjoyed this line from BurnerWilliams in the Judge Judy post. BurnerWilliams is a good commenter, almost certainly an alter ego of an established commenter. Later, here's a simple, straightforward line in the Amputee Soccer Fight post. Nice job.

Here's a silly sequence from BronzeHammer in the Shane Battier post. Ultimately, it's a dig at Kenny Smith, but much of the humor comes from the absurdity of the entire premise. Good shit.

There are many hilarious entries in the Toronto Raptors post, and I encourage you to look through the entire comments section. Here's the link.

Here's a dynamite, dynamite one-liner from Poignant Theater in the Amputee Soccer Fight post. And in the same post, here's another kick-ass joke. Two winners in a single post - that's great hustle, a rare feat.

I chuckled at this Idiot joke from RMJ=H in the Amputee Soccer Fight post. So dumb. Later, I chuckled again at this Marvin Harrison joke in the Austin Collie post. Nice work.

Also in the Amputee Soccer Fight post, here's a funny, goofy one-liner from Bring Back Anthony Mason. Note how he slows down the pace of this joke before the punchline by doubling up on adjectives. Timing! In a written joke! Nice.

And here's another successful variation in the Amputee Soccer Fight post, from Raysism. So many different angles available. And later, here's a funny line in the Milton Bradley post. Ah, Raysism.

Here's a sharp one-liner from Steve U in the Bat Dodger post. An elegant set-up and a quick wordplay turn for the punchline. This is how it's done.

Also in the Bat Dodger post, here's quick one-liner from FreemanMcNeil. Joke mechanics are endlessly fascinating to me: this joke turns entirely on the use of the term "Dodger", but as an exercise, I like to boil the joke down entirely to it's punchline and see how effective it is with the absolute minimum delivery. He is a Dodger fan - that's the brand-new Deadspin commenter version, and it's not funny at all. He is a lifelong Dodger fan - this joke still has almost no juice. This version of the joke, this bare-bones unsuccessful version has six total words, and FreemanMcNeil's version has nine. They boil down to the exact same thing, but a nine-word version of a six-word joke that turns on a one-word pun is many times over more successful. Fascinating! With minimal, minimal embellishment (three words!), FreemanMcNeil gave this line character, a voice, and timing, and it went from a bone-dry pun to a successful one-liner. Awesome.

I'm not sure how I feel, in general, about commenters spoofing (or just outright utilizing) All Over But The Sharting's signature Olive Garden joke format, but I did chuckle at this particular version from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Dead Letters post. Conspicuously absent? Any reply from All Over But The Sharting himself. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN????

This is so fucking funny, from sweatingmullets in the Austin Collie post. Holy smokes. This is the joke from Tuesday that made me laugh the most. It's super simple, but the absolute minimalism of it is what makes it so great. Later, I enjoyed this offering in the Sidney Crosby post. Way to go.

Mantis Toboggan, M.D. cracked me up with this Lassie joke in the Austin Collie post. So ridiculous. I am powerless against this kind of thing.

Total Fucking Duds

Here's a boring-as-hell paint-by-numbers Ben Roethlisberger joke from Utah Jazz Hands in the Chandler Parsons post. I remain perplexed by the fact that Utah Jazz Hands is outside the Pendings. He's no good.

Meet MJsThrowbackBitch, easily one of the five or so very worst Deadspin commenters, seen here trolling the Bat Dodger post. For reasons that cannot possibly be defended, MJsThrowbackBitch is a featured commenter. I find it appalling that there's a Deadspin author who is following this guy. There was not a single regular featured commenter pre-Kinja who was anywhere near as obnoxious and irrelevant as this guy. Seriously, Deadspin. Kinja is what it is, but let's execute a little control, eh? For crying out loud. Put this chump in the Pendings where he belongs.

Too many Favorites, guys. 18 is just too many. We're going to have to raise the standards, and if this all sounds familiar it is surely because I have made this same declaration at least 800 times before. Still, I'm going to try. As always, drop any I left out in the comments below so they can get their due.

And have a great night.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Monday Roundup

Favorites and duds from Monday's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

I laughed at this question from Nikkolai in the Jim Kelly post. It's sharp and relevant, and it gets a nice boost from the choice to package it as a question. Great joke.

Here's a funny wordplay joke from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Old Yankees Fan post. This is a very tidy delivery, packaging all the context and all the character in a smooth-as-possible set-up and then delivering the punchline at the very end. He could teach a class on this stuff.

Here's a kickass one-liner from RMJ=H in the Jason Kidd post. Unbelievably, this took me a second or two to assemble. Good stuff.

This is silly and stupid and funny, from FreemanMcNeil in the Chris Berman post. I laughed.

Here's a breezy little one-liner from a burner called Sphinx_Beneva. Get ye an avatar and pull up a chair, friend.

And here's a fucking dynamite jab from Steve U in the Navy Investigation post. Ah, Steve U. Don't ever leave us.

I chuckled at this line from Derrick_Roses_Are_Free in the Navy Investigation post. Nice work.

This, for me, is the funniest comment of the day, from IronMikeGallego in the Grizzlies post. This joke is funny from start to finish. It puts its cards on the table with the very first line, and then just piles on the silliness. Awesome.

This sequence from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Da'Shawn Hand post was good for a chuckle. I'm down with just about any Lane Kiffin joke, to be honest.

And, finally, here's a damn funny catch by DougExeter in the Popovich post. Found something funny, pointed it out in a fairly straightforward way.

Total Fucking Duds


Alright! Off to a good start this week: 10 Favorites from you fine funny folks, and a Roundup finished on time from me. Let's all keep it up, eh?

Enjoy Game 7, everyone. Maybe poke your head in DUAN, why not?

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Wednesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from Wednesday's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

I laughed at this very convincing gag from Insert Clever Name in the Daily Screencap post. I was just finishing my groan upon reading the opening question when it started to click. Great job.

I am frankly astonished that this joke from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Shane Victorino post didn't rake in the +1s. That is hysterical, one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Even the name Osama bin Seinfeld is good for an out-of-control laugh.

Total Fucking Duds

I really can't stand this Lana, Lana,...LANAAAAAA!!! person. Really. Here's another straight-up rent-a-joke in the LeBron Internship post. God this is depressing.

And here's another rent-a-joke, this time from Brando in the Robert Coello post. I just hate this. Hate.

Here's the world's laziest joke, from some total hack called tattooofkapernacus in the Olympic Wrestling post. Grow a brain, asshole.

And . . . that's it! Quiet day, Wednesday. Ah well.

Hey, quick note: Raysism's Tournament of Commenters sounds like a fun thing. You should participate. Yes, you.

Have a great night, everyone.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from Tuesday's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

This recontextualization from IronMikeGallego in the ESPN Memo post is good for a hearty laugh. That's a terrific pull.

Here's a humdinger from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the TMZ post. Holy cow. This is the kind of comment that makes people want to crack their own killer jokes instead of droning on and on about whether Tony Parker is better than Chris Paul. More jokes! All of you! More goddamn jokes!

I enjoyed this line from ObscureSimpsonsReference in the TMZ post. It follows a familiar structure, where a line or quote is made goofy and unwieldy by replacing a word or words with something clunky and specific. This can be a very easy joke type - even, at times, too easy - and so it's important that the new content have the right out-of-sync-ness with the original line. The safety data request is perfectly inappropriate for the tone, and the exclamation point really drives home the silliness. Good stuff.

I laughed aloud at this line from Demps351 in the Joshua Sale post. That's excellent! Somebody get this guy a goddamn avatar!

I also laughed at this offering from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Joshua Sale post. I'm not even entirely sure what it means, but I laughed at it. Nice job.

I feel like this one-liner from darinh in the Rob Ford Cake post is good for a chuckle. Nothing super-ambitious about it, just a funny visual based upon a clever observation. Great job.

Here's a welcome visit from Madoffs Mets in the Livestrong post. It's very encouraging to see Madoffs Mets in the comments. Stick around, friend.

And, finally, this is so dumb and charming, from FreemanMcNeil in the Eric Wedge post. So silly.

Total Fucking Duds

Here's brain-dead jackass 65powertossfap reminding us all that some shows are funny sometimes and also that he is not and probably never has been, in the Brittney Griner post. Make your own jokes, jerk-off.

How about a recycled line from the awful Lana, Lana,...LANAAAAAA!!! in the Joshua Sale post? Because, really, who doesn't like a recycled line?

Here's a boring, uninspired one-ball joke from I Love Big TDs in the Livestrong post. Nice try, dingus.

I found this thread to be excruciating and so, so depressing. Let's just minimally change several goddamn paragraphs of dialogue from a well-known movie and tell ourselves we're making jokes. This stuff kills my mood. Go to hell, decgeek and token_liberal. Couple o'morons.

That's it! We're behind by almost a day, but we're still cookin'. Have a great night, everyone.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Memorial Day Roundup

It was Memorial Day, right?

Favorites and duds from Monday's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a fairly straightforward one-liner from DougExeter in the Danica Patrick post. This may not blow your hair back, but it's definitely good for a chuckle. Later, this comment (which is very funny) in the Tim Duncan Video post caused quite a lot of confusion among the idiots. I highly encourage everyone to have a look through the resulting thread.

And finally, I enjoyed this line from IronMikeGallego in the Dusty Baker post. Very sharp and delivered beautifully. Nice job.

Total Fucking Duds

Enjoy your Tuesday. We'll have a Roundup for today sometime tonight. Make jokes!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a clever and funny one-liner from Bevraj of Choice in the Joakim Noah post. Simple, straightforward, funny. Good stuff. Later, Bevraj of Choice also contributed this dynamite joke in the Lance Armstrong post. That's really great.

Here's a killer one-liner from what_dreams_are_madoff in the first ESPN Layoffs post. Perfect! Letter fucking perfect. Great job.

And here's a funny pull from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the first ESPN Layoffs post. Nothing complicated about this, just a heads-up reference twisted into something silly and funny.

Here's a fairly spectacular comment from Tim Burke (of all people) in the Lance Armstrong post. Yowza! Fire away, author!

Here's a downright uncomfortable wordplay joke from Steve U in the Lance Armstrong post. I laughed aloud at this. Or grimaced. Or both. And later, here's a very clever offering in the Playgirl post. That's terrific. And even later, here's a hilarious dig in the Rick Reilly post. Man is that good.

Here's a very cobra, brah! joke from cobra, brah! in the Lance Armstrong post. Among Deadspin commenters, cobra, brah! is perhaps the most likely to sweat out a grueling wordplay joke. It's a high-wire act: sometimes the work overpowers the punchline, and other times it all comes together for a kick-ass comment. This is very definitely the latter.

Here's an outstanding dig from Dave Algonquin (WWTD?) in the Rick Reilly post. A short-but-patient set-up to a very straightforward joke. Excellent.

And also in the Rick Reilly post, here's a great wordplay dig from The Amazing Sneijderman. I like the jokes that find a creative way to work in an idiom - the payoff is so immediate in that moment of recognition.

This joke, from Same Sad Echo in the Rick Reilly post, utilizes a clever, familiar ploy: the structure itself is the punchline. Instead of a traditional setup, the structure of the joke - a limerick - establishes a rhythm and rhyme expectation that is then spectacularly defied. There's the joke, but by utilizing that joke type Same Sad Echo gives himself an opportunity to fill in both the pre-punchline portion of the joke and the payoff with his own brand of humor - his silly content fills in the area around the delivery of the joke with personality and charm. It's like telling two very good jokes at once.

I laughed at this completely stupid photoshop job from Carrie Hunt and the Spoonerisms in the Mario Williams post. I find this kind of humor irresistible. I am powerless against it.

And, finally, here's a special nod to DubaiAfterDark for a very funny joke over on Sidespin. That's great.

Total Fucking Duds

Fucking idiot Lumpy Jackson saw the word "spit" in the Spitball post and had the least original or creative thought possible: Ah saw sumthin' funnuh-lahk with that thar word one tahm! Well, congratulations, asshole.

And here's some inane shit from FunkFactor5 in the Keepy-Uppy post. Boy do I miss the days when this throwaway junk would have been hidden in the gray.

Here's a completely empty and useless comment from total moron Andrew Daisuke in the X-Games post. With this contribution you're every bit as fresh and interesting as your namesake, and that's not anything like a compliment.

This is really fucking shameful, from Hit Bull Win Steak in the Super Bowl Hosting post. This joke is a direct copy of this tweet from yesterday. You should donate that +1 to charity and then go stand in the corner, asshole.

Keep at it, funny types!


Monday, May 20, 2013

Monday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's David Hume with an absurd, hilarious sequence in the Darren Rovell post. This was the best of the very few jokes even attempted today on Deadspin.

I chuckled at this line from SavetoFavorites in the Adorable Goal post. Befuddledly, eh?

Also in the Adorable Goal post, here's a winning dialogue joke from BurnerWilliams. Good stuff.

Here's a rather dark wordplay gag from cobra, brah! in the Skylar Diggins post. Nice pull, bucko.

This goofy slapstick joke from Poignant Theater in the Skylar Diggins post is good for a chuckle. So dumb.

This joke, from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Skylar Diggins post, deserved a little more attention. I needed a second or two to put it together, but it's pretty damn funny.

This, from IronMikeGallego in the Miguel Photoshop post, is a little bit inside-baseball-y, but it's funny. Or, anyway, I laughed.

Total Fucking Duds

And here's JobuNeedsARefill86, just doing what he does. Christ.

Alright, so, obviously there were a goddamn TON of lousy, throwaway, comments on Deadspin today. With few exceptions, any comment that wasn't listed in the Favorites today would never ever ever have been visible outside of a Drew post back in the days of the approval system. I know we don't have ninjas anymore, but there's got to be some way to knock the boring same-old-sports-website commentary back behind the Pending Submissions tab.

Hey, good to see you. We're back at it again tomorrow. Make jokes!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Well, This Was Bound to Happen.

Check back Monday for [gulp] Roundups. I figure this version of Kinja is about as close as we can reasonably hope to get to the former approval system. Let's make the best of it, eh?

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Friday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order (moving quickly):

This is hilarious, from Madoffs Mets in the Oscar Pistorius post. COTY!!1! (No, seriously, this is the Comment of the Day.)

I laughed at this joke, from Raysism in the Oscar Pistorius post. It took some doing, but he got there. Great job.

Here's a funny one-liner-ish joke from BronzeHammer in the Oscar Pistorius post. That's really fucking funny.

I thought this was pretty great, from Same Sad Echo in the Russian Meteorite post. Obviously, not everyone knew what to make of it, but that's okay.

I don't think Eddie Murray Sparkles intended to troll the burners with this comment in the Robbie Rogers post, but it turned out that way. I thought the comment was funny enough even without the hullabaloo it caused. And even without that hullabaloo, I thought this comment was fucking hilarious as a sequel to the first.

Speaking of hullabaloo, this comment, from Steve U in the Robbie Rogers post, caused an enormous stir. Nevermind, I thought the joke was funny even before the burners went berzerk.

And finally, here's a hilarious comment that didn't ruffle the burners, from SavetoFavorites in the Robbie Rogers post. I laughed aloud at this.

Total Fucking Duds

Miserable Shitehawk can't seem to keep his shit together long enough to put together five days of Roundups in five days. Just what the hell is wrong with this guy? I'd sure like to kick him in the balls.

Thanks for reading!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Thursday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Have a look at this devastating one-liner from Universal Enveloping Algebra in the Oscar Pistorius Ad post. What a joke! Simple and dynamite. This is the Comment of the Day.

This humdinger, from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Oscar Pistorius Ad post, was right there in the running. That's just an incredible pull. Later, here's another terrific pull, delivered in as bone-dry and straightforward a manner as possible, from the Darren Rovell post. Let the strength of the reference do the heavy lifting. And finally, here's a hilarious dig at female athletes in the Kangaroo Delay post. I laughed aloud at this one. Great job today.

I chuckled at this silly comment from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Oscar Pistorius Ad post. This is a fun angle that relies totally upon the author's creativity and imagination. Also, here's a knockout from the Kangaroo Delay post. That's great. Good stuff.

Here's a quick, excellent joke from SavetoFavorites in the Trevor Bauer, MC post. It turns the [drops mic] action into a terrific dig without a whole lot of dense trickery. Nice work.

This funny little poem, from Gene Shalit's Merkin in the Shooting Insomniac post, could have yielded a thread - it sort of did, in fact - but I think it's funny enough all on its own. Stick around and make jokes, you.

Here's a simple enough little joke from BronzeHammer in the Shooting Insomniac post. Sometimes - often, in fact - it's the simple, silly, easy humor that really connects with the audience. There's nothing more exotic than a funny nickname driving this joke, but it works. Great job.

Here's the best of the tiptoeing jokes in the Shooting Insomniac post, from cobra, brah!. The picture helps, but I tend to think it's the way this joke dances around the angle instead of going right at it that makes it so successful. Many other commenters took less subtle approaches to this same line of text, without nearly the same impact.

I laughed at this line from David Hume in the Shooting Insomniac post. Simple enough angle, and of course imbued with that easy David Hume touch that gives the joke some personality to help accentuate the humor of the reference.

This is a great joke, from a burner called ChoosyMomsViewGIFs in the Vikings Logo post. It's so encouraging to see this kind of stuff from unknown commenters. It gets seriously exasperating following the comments closely from day to day. Every fucking day, it's hur dur what's with all the jokes and yadda yadda too soon!!1! and Gawker blah blah liberal blah blah gay worship blah blah, etc., and there are times when I so desperately miss the presence of moderators that even looking at Deadspin's comments ceases to be interesting and becomes a miserable chore. I won't go on and on about dismissing, you guys know how I feel about it. We have reached the point, though, where smart, funny, thoughtful commenters are being almost literally shouted down by complete and total morons. The optimistic view at the onset of Kinja held that new commenters would learn how to stand out as commenters by watching the best and most prominent commenters. The people who wanted to stick around and make jokes and, in general, be interesting and fresh and thoughtful and intelligent would survey the comments, figure out the landscape and tempo, and work their way in, adding their own voices to the mix. The rest would sink to the bottom of the page, be ignored, and move on. And that just hasn't happened. Why? Because every tourist who leaves is replaced by another ten the next day, and all these people have the exact same things to say, and it's all incredibly boring and stupid, and they can't possibly fall away at the rate they're being replaced.

There's a brain-dead, utterly false point hanging out there, and it's this: commenters are just learning to act like one another, all Deadspin commenters are interchangeable, etc. But it's AMAZING how different commenters' personalities and quirks shine through their comments. Yes, from time to time, everyone makes a bone-dry one-liner, but the whole rest of the time, the different commenters I've stalked the last few years couldn't be more distinct. We haven't written a Profile in Commenting in a long while, but trust me, we could write a fresh one about virtually every regular Deadspin commenter by now. Even new guys, like DougExeter, have established noticeably different voices. The respected regular commenters aren't known the way they are for all being the same, they're known for being smart and funny and interesting and distinct. And they're being overwhelmed by a never-ending horde of virtually identical burners and tourists and idiots. And it's frustrating as hell.

Anyway, ChoosyMomsViewGIFs, stick around and make jokes. We need the numbers.

Speaking of DougExeter, here's a funny one-liner in the (hilarious) Ancient Chocolate post. He wasn't the only commenter who took this particular angle, but I like the straightforward, unfussy approach here. It makes a quick turn on the wordplay and finds a funny, indirect way of converting it into a LaRussa The Drunk punchline. Good stuff.

And finally, here's a gross recontextualization from FreemanMcNeil in the Ancient Chocolates post. It's funny how recontextualizations have slowed down in the past year or so. There was a time when they were the dominant joke form on Deadspin. You still see them, but they're more often tucked inside different joke structures, obscuring somewhat their pivot-point. Because they're a bit less common, it's actually nice to see a good, old fashioned line-of-italics recontextualization.

Total Fucking Duds

Burner KevinYoungsHair gives us today's dud, and it's this shameless hack job in the Shooting Insomniac post. I don't believe for a second that this is a coincidence. This might be taking the "do as the best do" notion a little too literally.

Thanks for reading, folks. Look for Friday's Roundup a little bit later today.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Wednesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a terrific dialogue joke from SavetoFavorites in the Will Ferrell post. See what I mean about the heckling? Also in there is a fucking hilarious comeback from SavetoFavorites, well worth checking out all on its own. This could have very easily been the Comment of the Day. It was a tight race today.

This joke, from RMJ=H in the Spider Bite post, ought to have a "Born to Kill" tattoo on its shoulder. This thing had a 100% chance of slaying the crowd. First of all, it's very funny. Second of all, it's sex humor, which is always popular. But most importantly, it's easily accessible. It takes a section of text and repurposes it so cleanly that there's an immediate payoff for any reader. There's an argument to be made that someone was always going to make this joke, but I'm glad it was someone this funny and talented, someone who would give it the lightest of touches and get the most out of it. Good stuff.

Eddie Murray Sparkles killed me with this one-liner in the Spider Bite post. That's such a great pull, and again, it's so much more than clever. The very idea of the proposed publication is just hysterical. Also today, Eddie Murray Sparkles dropped this letter-perfect dig in the Full Kit Wankers post. Man is that great.

Here's a funny reference from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Spider Bite post. For whatever reason, spider posts seem to bring out the best in Deadspin's commenters. This is such a simple angle, but it really benefits from that out-of-left-field quality. I laughed aloud at this.

I dig this sort of personal humor, from BronzeHammer in the Spider Bite post. It almost has a sort of AMIRITE???? thing going on, where it calls upon our common experience or understanding of parenting small children. Jerry Seinfeld built most of his career on this exact kind of humor, although it's apparently not good enough for some burner asshole in the replies. Christ.

Here's your Comment of the Day, from Rare Endangered Vuvuzela in the Rob Gronkowski post. This joke satirizes the way athletes' indiscretions are often handled by fans and media, and it's relevant to the post, and I particularly enjoy the way the bracketed sections arrive closer together as the joke moves along. It give the joke a certain pace and timing that really boosts its humor, which is important because it doesn't build towards a punchline. That's a job well done. Good stuff.

Also in the Rob Gronkowski post, I'm surprised this sequence from Madoffs Mets didn't get more attention. It's a very clever pull, but it doesn't rely totally on the reference; it uses it to create a brutally awkward scenario without hammering the reader over the head with it. Great joke.

I also laughed at this dig from Mantis Toboggan, M.D. in the Rob Gronkoswki post. I was sure this was going to be a fat joke, but although it does reference the girl's body, it ultimately veers in another direction altogether. I think the joke really does benefit from that defiance of expectations. Great job.

I wonder how anyone could not laugh at this sequence from Same Sad Echo in the Ski Crash post. That last line delivers so much humor: it reframes the mother's feelings about her son, it gives us the funny idea of the state of his underwear, it makes use of our common experience of mom-like behavior, and it proposes that the state of the man's underwear would actually be reported to his mother after a crash. I love this joke. It's great. Also, here's something creative and silly and charming in the Deer Antler Man post. I really do love this stuff. Keep the silliness coming.

And finally, here's a fantastic reference from DougExeter in the Stadium Renovations post. The reference alone is really fucking strong, but DougExeter gives his presentation a certain voice, just enough to take it beyond "hey, look what I figured out" without also trampling the pull. Awesome joke.

Total Fucking Duds

Hey, have a great night. Sorry if I missed your jokes either Tuesday or Wednesday. As always, please do note any of your personal favorites down in the comments. I'll bang out Thursday and Friday tomorrow and/or Saturday, and we'll have a Week In Review this weekend.


Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's an imaginative sequence from Same Sad Echo in the Joe Buck post. I've noticed lately there seems to be a bit of an anti-dialogue-joke movement brewing. It seems one or two dialogue jokes (or "made-up conversations") per day are getting flamed by surly burners. I suppose you funny types ought to instead focus on Simpsons quotes and one-liners featuring porn references. Later, I chuckled at this Phil Mickelson joke in the Derrick Rose post. Very good.

Here's a rather bizarre recontextualization-like joke from All Over But The Sharting in the Eliminated Wrestling post. All Over But The Sharting is one of the masters of letting the air out of the balloon all at once, the jokes that take their time getting where they're going and then deliver an abrupt, effective punchline.

I laughed at this long tease from SavetoFavorites in the Eliminated Wrestling post. That's really great. All along you're enjoying the creative wrestling references, but ultimately it's what isn't said that serves as the punchline of the joke, and that's just so smart and creative. I also laughed at this little sequence in the Derrick Rose post, and I'm sort of surprised it didn't get more attention. It's that clever deployment of the absurd that works on me virtually every time. Good stuff.

This is just so ridiculous, from Gamboa Constrictor in the Daddy Juice post. It makes use of the circumstances of the post, but redirects them for a completely off-the-wall joke that happens to also have something smart to say about OJ. I love it. Great joke.

Then, of course, there's this astonishing one-liner from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Daddy Juice post. Some jokes are more clever than funny, and sometimes, in the urgent search for material within a post around which to form a joke, we forsake funny and settle on clever. This is a wordplay joke, and it's so, so clever, but it's also really funny, and Eddie Murray Sparkles has an unbelievable talent for just that kind of combination. It's impressive.

Here's a kick-ass quote from RobTheStreet in the Connor Bird post. This thing is smokin'. Presented exactly as-is, without any set-up or context, it's just fucking perfect. Stick around, guy. That's a hell of a joke. I'm thinking this is the Comment of the Day . . . yep. Yes. This is the Comment of the Day.

Here's something silly and charming as hell from Bevraj of Choice in the Connor Bird post. The goofiness and glee of the Operator character is funny enough, but of course the real laugh comes from the abrupt shift in tone at the very end.

I chuckled at this one-liner from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Connor Bird post. It's a funny pull packaged effectively. Later, I had to research this joke, in the Mike Piazza post, but it was well worth it. Even if you happen to already know what the fuck a Karate Gi is, you really get no advance clues for where this joke is headed, which is part of what makes that last line so damn hilarious. Great job.

This joke, from Sponsored by V8 in the Connor Bird post, makes great use of what we know about the Bird/Jordan relationship. It's such a simple angle, but Sponsored by V8 approaches it with the appropriate amount of silliness. Good stuff.

I very nearly missed this joke, from Raysism in the Popes, Ranked post. Posts like these are often a wasteland, at best featuring a few burner throwaway comments. I'm glad I checked. This joke obviously just piles on the silliness, and there's nothing wrong with that.

And finally, here's a well-timed Fred Hoiberg joke from David Hume in the Shaun Livingston post. I'm still chuckling about this. Poor fuckin' Hoiberg.

Total Fucking Duds

Thanks for reading. Wednesday will be up soonish.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Monday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a smart, funny one-liner from Raysism in the Parachutist post. Simple enough, but a sharp pull executed perfectly. 

I'm pretty surprised this funny one-liner from RMJ=H in the Lil Wayne post didn't get more attention. It's thin as hell and very, very stupid, but its silliness totally got to me. Good stuff. 

I laughed aloud at this recontextualization from FreemanMcNeil in the Jay Williams post. It's a terrific joke, direct and simple and funny. You see a lot of tortured recontextualizations, many of them worth the effort, but this one is straightforward and wonderful. 

Here's a funny dig at Michael Jordan from BlairWalshProject in the Jay Williams post. The idea of this is funny enough that it doesn't require very careful delivery. It's not presented as a set-up/knockdown joke, but this allows the joke to have a pleasant conversational tone, and that totally works. 

Maybe it's just me, but I thought this wordplay gag from OmahaOmahaHut in the Michael Vick post was pretty good. That's a pretty damn clever pull and right on the money. 

Here's a rather unpleasant one-liner from Madoffs Mets in the Warriors Unis post. I once worked in an office where the term "wizard's sleeve" was considered the very pinnacle of humor for virtually a year. Still, this is a great pull. 

Here's a great dig at New Jersey from Bronze Hammer in the Warriors Unis post. This one was destined to kill. Great job. We'll call this the Comment of the Day. 

I enjoyed this line from Greg "The Aryan" Stiemsma in the Weird Baseball Injury post. It's essentially a recontextualization, but the laugh obviously comes from the dig at the Pirates. Good stuff.

This line from SavetoFavorites in the Tokin' Bulls post is good for a hearty chuckle. It's a pretty good pull, in addition to having some funny wordplay. 

Total Fucking Duds

Somebody fucking get rid of this guy, please. It shouldn't be so hard. Whatever pile of shit bureaucracy now stands between this asshole and a banning needs to get itself in gear, and fast. 

Jennifer A already took a stiff elbow for this execrable comment in the Weird Baseball Injury post, but it's worth piling on. Get a fucking clue, you total jackass. For crying out loud. 

Hey, have a great evening. Don't let your dogs get into any fake sugar, lest you find yourself out two grand and possibly a couple of goofball but nonetheless lovable pooches. 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

The Week In Review Director's Cut

Hey, Awards!

Last Week's Swinging Dicks

In third place, winner of two long screws meant for use in the mounting of Pottery Barn's Rustic Wine Glass Ledge in my dining room: Steve U, with 7 Favorites in the last five days.

Here's my favorite comment from Steve U from last week. This was one of last week's very best comments.

In a tie for second place, proud co-winners of a pair of "toggles", meant to anchor two long screws in the mounting of Pottery Barn's Rustic Wine Glass Ledge in my dining room: RMJ=H and Doug Exeter, with 8 Favorites each in the last five days.

Unbelievably, this is my favorite comment from RMJ=H from last week. RMJ=H had a lot of funny comments last week, but as I go back through them, I find myself really laughing a lot at this one.

This is far and away my favorite comment from DougExeter from last week. I know it's dark and some people are doing the whole "too soon" thing, but this joke absolutely killed me.

And in first place, winner of Pottery Barn's irredeemably awful Rustic Wine Glass Ledge, for which one will need neither the long screws nor the toggles because it is completely stupid and dysfunctional and is surely meant as some kind of malicious eff-you to anyone unfortunate enough to purchase it, but should do just fine as fuel for the fireplace: Raysism, with 9 Favorites (!) in the last five days.

Here's my favorite comment from Raysism from last week. So simple and so funny.

This fucking crap is yours if you want it. If anyone wants to putty up and repaint my goddamn wall while you're here, well, I sure wouldn't complain about it.

Wait, there's more!

The Monday Comment of the Day, from Raysism.

The Tuesday Comment of the Day, from IronMikeGallego.

The Wednesday Comment of the Day, from Steve U.

The Thursday Comment of the Day, from DougExeter 

The Friday Comment of the Day, from RMJ=H 

Congratulations, funny types.

The Unwelcome Lesson of the Week

So, I'm going to use someone's joke here, and I'm going to do it entirely without permission, and I'm going to beg that person's forgiveness, but, anyway, I think we can use it to work something out.

Here's the joke. Sorry, boss.

So, this is a dialogue joke. It has a couple of things going on:

1. It references the picture at the top of the post.
2. It appears to suggest something about Adam Morrison's personality.
3. It appears to suggest something about Luke Walton's personality.
4. It appears to suggest something about Ron Artest's personality.
5. It uses repetition, presumably to develop rhythm and timing.
6. It seems to be taking a shot at Adam Morrison's clothing.
7. It seems to pivot at the end, redirecting the dig at Lamar Odom.

I'm using this joke because I had a chance to learn what it is about: Lamar Odom is known among some people for having questionable taste in clothing.

Or . . . hang on a second, is that really what this joke is about?

For people who know a thing or two about Lamar Odom, his consistent choice of strange-looking jackets probably has a little bit of juice in it as a joke angle. For the rest of us, we might be able to divine from the content of this or another, similar joke that it reveals this particular truth about Lamar Odom, but that's not likely to be a very funny realization. And the author of the joke was smart enough to realize that Lamar Odom's poor taste in jackets was not, alone, enough to carry a joke. He packaged it, intuitively enough, inside a dialogue set-up, giving himself plenty of room to tease out this angle and supplement it with other funny little touches. That's the right move.

But let's look at the joke again: what is it about? I ask this because you've got to do an accounting of your joke, and in that accounting, the question must be asked: what's really funny about this joke? What's funnier: that Lamar Odom is known by some to wear ugly jackets? Or that a group of NBA players is sitting on the sideline of a game playing broken telephone? For my money, the broken telephone angle is the far funnier of the two. Think of all the room you're given to play around within that premise! Think of how perfectly absurd that idea is, before you even start dumping in the outrageous details! That's a fine starting point for a great joke, and if you want to punch it up with a silly, over-the-top criticism of Adam Morrison's clothing or, by extension, Lamar Odom's clothing, by all means, go nuts.

When I think of this joke, it brings to mind this joke, from a few months ago. Both jokes start with something known (or supposed) about a marginal NBA player. Both jokes use an absurd circumstance as a way of making use of what is known (or supposed) about that player. But the first joke fails to realize that what it is about is the silly circumstance, whereas the second joke packs all of its humor inside the circumstance. In other words, the punchline of the first joke shouldn't be that Lamar Odom wears crappy clothing - there's just not much there. When you've incorporated a circumstance that is all alone a lot funnier than that idea that spawned the joke, stick to the circumstance, and use the original idea as just some of the accent work of your joke. There's no rule that says your joke needs a punchline -  this is one of the funniest things I've ever read, and it has nothing like a punchline. Don't feel like you're bound to the idea that spawned your joke, especially if it brings you to a delivery device that is so, so much funnier than the original idea.

Make your joke about NBA players playing broken telephone on the sideline, use the players' idiosyncrasies to punch up that idea, and if there's not one strong punchline among those idiosyncrasies, say "to hell with a punchline" and just work the angle. It's the difference between a joke about Lamar Odom's bad jacket and a joke about Nick Young washing his dishes in the dryer. Or a joke about something that's not really widely known about a marginal player and a joke about all the fun that can be had inside the premise of a sex-for-access advertisement written by a depraved Edgar Allen Poe. Know thyself, gentle joke!

Hey, how about that Beyonce! Have a splendid evening. It's wonderfully flattering that you talented sumbitches keep checking in. Thanks for reading, as always.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Friday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

I enjoyed this smart Ed Koch joke from Lionel Osbourne in the Up With People post. It happens he's heterosexual! This joke might have been a bit obscure for some people, but I loved it, and I think we can do away with the obscurity=bad thing once and for all.

Here's a quick little sequence from RMJ=H in the Diabetes Dog post. I laughed aloud at this. And later, here's a completely ridiculous sequence in the Piggyback Bandit post. Those are both terrific. I think the Diabetes Dog one might be my favorite Favorite of the two, and I'm making it the Comment of the Day.

I liked this dig at the Cubs from TheCarlosRuizSpanishEnglishDictionary in the Orphaned Bear Cubs post. I don't know that it's "amazing" or the commenting equivalent of a "perfect game", but it's a solid pull packaged with personality. Good stuff.

Speaking of ridiculous, check out this insane sequence from BronzeHammer in the Whippit Standoff post. Holy moly. For me, the best part of this joke is the listing of 1-10 and then hitting us with 11-23 all in one line. For whatever reason, that really cracked me up.

Raysism took a shot at the Pelican lady in the Twitter Handle post, earning a big round of applause. This joke positions the reader to expect one misunderstanding, and then dumps a second, even more glorious misunderstanding on top of it at the end. I'm not sure if that counts as misdirection, but it definitely puts your expectations in one place and then hits you full force with a punchline from another angle. Great joke.

And, finally, here's a funny recontextualization from Gamboa Constrictor in the Pepper Spray post. Or is it? Is he suggesting a different sequence of events, or is he playing the dummy and using his line to reveal his misunderstanding of the content? Either way, it's funny and I laughed. Good shit.

Total Fucking Duds

This relatively light batch of Favorites has me concerned I might have somehow missed a whole shit-load of great jokes somewhere in Friday's posts. If so, I do apologize. Post any I missed down there in the Favorites, and have a kick-ass weekend. May whichever team you're rooting for win the Super Bowl tomorrow. Each and every one of you.

Keep an eye out for a Week In Review sometime today or tomorrow.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Thursday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a great and incredibly popular dig from Bevraj of Choice in the Dan Marino Love Child post. This joke was destined to kill. I've got no problem with that, but I don't think it was Thursday's best joke. It's great, undeniably great, great great great, but the 120 +1s are more a reflection of its accessibility.

Here's a strong pull from Kid Canada in the Dan Marino post. This one was there for the taking, and Kid Canada got there, and it's funny, and he gets the credit. Nice job.

This joke, from BronzeHammer in the Coyotes Sale post, kinda overwhelms you with its commitment. It's just full-bore crazy-ass balls-to-the-wall ridiculousness, and sometimes that does the trick. Later, BronzeHammer dropped this creative visual joke in the Rick Reilly post. And even later, I enjoyed this bonehead collection of stereotypes in the Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Interview post. Great work today.

Here's a terrific one-liner from Raysism in the J.J. Watt Proposal post. That's such a smart, hilarious turn of events.

Here's a great reference from Lionel Osbourne in the Rushing the Court post. Not just the clever use of a previous post, but also the way it provides a funny and ridiculous backstory for the video. I laughed aloud at this. Later, I laughed even harder at this absurd one-liner in the Caleb Moore post. That's so, so funny.

Here's ye olde fat joke from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Rick Reilly post. Of course, because it's Eddie Murray Sparkles we're talking about, the joke involves strong wordplay and letter-perfect delivery. Not your average fat joke.

Here's a great dig from Gamboa Constrictor in the Rick Reilly post. I'm frankly running out of ways to say "Gamboa is great at one-liners". Gamboa is very great at one-liners.

Yeah, I'm always going to laugh at a ridiculous Polish joke, like this one from RMJ=H in the X Games post. Taking a second glance at the photo after reading the joke yields something wonderful. And here's an outstanding one-liner in the Amani Toomer post. There are only so many Ray Lewis = Murderer jokes left to be made, but (of course) there's still juice left in there for the creative commenter.

Here's a funny extended repurpose of the word "patronize" from DougExeter in the Banned Goodell post. That's very good. And, for my money, this is the Comment of the Day, in the Caleb Moore post. This killed me. And, finally, here's something somewhat lighter in the Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Interview post. That Caleb Moore joke is a fucking knockout. Also, I wish I could personally uppercut every person who made a "too soon" comment in that post. Even the "see you in hell" stuff makes me crazy. Seriously.

Here's a big dramatic playaction fake from SavetoFavorites in the Recovering Homosexual post. Later, I thought this was one of the day's very best comments, in the Caleb Moore post. This could have very easily been the Comment of the Day. It's not so much the idea that it's all an X Games trick so much as the notion of someone hoping it's an X Games trick . . . this fucking knocked me over.

This is an incredibly smart, gruesome joke from Sponsored by V8 in the Caleb Moore post. Yes, it required a little research, but it was so worth it. And later, here's a kickass one-liner in the Amani Toomer post. Amani's first and last names were each featured in great one-liners today. A guy's got a right to feel proud about that.

This sequence, from Universal Enveloping Algebra in the NFL Team Doctors post, also does the whole overwhelm-you-with-absurdity thing. It's a bit of a high-wire act, because at times the laid-on-thick craziness can read like schtick, and only burners love schtick. This joke stays well short of that threshold and retains its funniness.

This is just so simple and funny, from Steve U in the Liquor Store Robbery post. It's a completely stupid silver-lining joke, executed perfectly.

All Over But The Sharting cracked me up with this excellent contribution to the Phil Mickelson post. The word "goddamn" is a smart way of giving the joke a particular tone of voice. If you make this joke as a simple math problem, it's still pretty clever, but it's the subtle little personality clues that really make it funny.

And finally, here's some good-natured ribbing from Same Sad Echo in the KSK Roundtable post. Also, that's a pretty goddamn hilarious .gif as a comeback. I really enjoyed this whole exchange. Good stuff.

Total Fucking Duds

I'm having to be a bit selective with the Favorites, which sucks. Sorry if I left out any humdingers from Thursday. Feel free to leave your missing favorites down in the comments, and have a great evening.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Wednesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

This is getting ridiculous.

Here's a wacky, bizarre sequence from SavetoFavorites in the Daily Screencap post. Later, in the Dr. Phil post, SavetoFavorites dropped this funny personal moment. Just two examples of SavetoFavorites being his wonderful, silly self.

Here's an embarrassing sequence from Madoffs Mets in the Daily Screencap post. It's interesting how different dialogue jokes operate in different ways. The SavetoFavorites joke above is just an upward vector of silliness, whereas this joke is a setup in service of a very specific punchline. You can really tinker around with different deliveries in a narrative structure that features different characters and more room to play. Later, Madoffs Mets delivered this evil one-liner in the WCBA Ref Beating post. Interestingly, I think this joke works just as well - or maybe better - without the italicized text, but I imagine Madoffs Mets wanted to make sure readers were primed for a joke that referenced Moore's performance. It's a calculated move, one that's sometimes necessary if your joke pivots on a secondary bit of information from a post.

Steve U had himself quite the day on Wednesday. We'll start with the Comment of the Day, this hysterical sequence in the Dr. Phil post. Oh my God that's funny. Later, he dropped this excruciating news item in the Thuzio post. Even later, I laughed at this patient Ray Lewis joke in the God's Will post. And, finally, here's a very silly sequence with an unexpected finish in the Nerlens Noel post. Look at the variety in those jokes! Steve U's a goddamn hero.

Here's a good catch from fatleaveher in the Dr. Phil post. This is a solid pull with a good-enough delivery, a worthy Favorite. I don't hold it against fatleaveher that so many people did the whole COTY!!1! thing in the replies, but that shit seriously makes me crazy. It's not even fatleaveher's best joke of the day, let alone the best joke in that post. This is a much better joke, in the Nerlens Noel post: it's silly, it's creative, it has much more interesting wordplay, and the setup is genuinely important to the punchline. It's a very good joke. That first joke is just an example of one commenter being the first to notice something and then pointing it out - he deserves credit for the catch. But a work of genuine creativity is funnier and better and more worthy of praise every time.

Hard not to laugh at this completely absurd dialogue joke from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Dr. Phil post. It's an extended fat joke that sort of makes fun of itself for being an extended fat joke. Great stuff.

This is one of the day's very best jokes, from Bevraj of Choice in the Dr. Phil post. If not for the unbelievable Steve U joke, this might have been the Comment of the Day. It takes an outstanding stab at Dr. Phil using familiar action, but doesn't just rely on the action for the humor. It positions the action within a verbal exchange and delivers the punchline in a hilarious quote. Great, great joke.

Here's a hilarious one-liner from RMJ=H in the Thuzio post. And now I have that goddamn song stuck in my head. This is essentially a really silly pull positioned for maximum ridiculousness. Later, I laughed at this half-quote in the Devil's Work post. By just supplying the finish, RMJ=H gets a laugh out of what might have come before his comment, without having to actually come up with anything. In this way, he and we acknowledge how completely indefensible any argument would be that would end with his joke. And, finally, I needed a little outside help to get this joke in the Qatar Bribery post, but that's okay. There was a time when I gleefully tracked down every reference in every MattinglysSideburns joke. It's worth it when it's worth it, which is to say you'd better have something great to say if you're sending me to Wikipedia. And this is great.

Here's a funny one-liner from DougExeter in the Thuzio post. This is a pretty straightforward joke, but that's actually sort of why it's funny. And here's another funny one-liner, this time in the Chris Culliver post. DougExeter leaves the punchline outside the actual text of the joke, creating the cognitive delay. Good stuff.

Here's a terrific little reuse from someone called JudgeHaller in the Devil's Work post. This is definitely one of the day's funniest comments. The very idea of the Office Assistant paperclip guy being the Devil is hilarious, and JudgeHaller has the good sense to just let that idea do the work. Good stuff.

Here's a big dramatic head-fake from All Over But The Sharting in the Devil's Work post. Two kinds of funny at work here: the head-fake itself, and the idea that Ray Lewis is definitively worse than the Devil. Excellent.

Here's a characteristically strong one-liner from Gamboa Constrictor in the Devil's Work post. A strong pull packaged tightly in an efficient delivery, with a nice steep arc at the punchline. Gamboa Constrictor is one of the masters of the one-liner (in addition to being Deadspin's Idiot Laureate).

Here's another one of the day's very best, from Bring Back BJ in the Devil's Work post. This is a really sharp, funny way of making a pretty strong, perceptive observation about Lewis's behavior. And it's got a great setup/knockdown structure, too. Terrific.

Here's a smart, funny sequence from Raysism in the Devil's Work post. This joke turns on a bit of wordplay right near the beginning, but obscures it somewhat in the interest of working in a secondary bit of humor at the end. And later, here's an uncomfortably astute one-liner in the God's Will post. I'm frankly shocked this comment didn't draw out the burner antagonists. Or were there dismissals? At any rate, that's very funny.

Here's a great Michael J. Fox joke from Body By Bacardi in the Qatar Bribery post. Michael J. Fox has become the stand-in for all shaky-hands jokes, in the way that John Amaechi used to be the stand-in for all gay-athlete jokes. The key is finding new ways of using that stand-in. What you're doing is making a joke about the condition. Michael J. Fox becomes sort of a standard, a flag you hold up in your joke that says, "hey guys, this joke is about physical infirmity," and then what we're all doing collectively is sort of writing a long, funny episodic story about the day-to-day misery of living with Parkinsons, and Michael J. Fox becomes a character with a face and a voice to act out all our absurd sequences.

Here's Stev D being kinda un-Stev D-like with a more traditional one-liner in the Qatar Bribery post. Still, it's a pretty damn funny out-of-left-field suggestion, and I laughed at it.

Check out this funny thread in the God's Will post, featuring BronzeHammer, SavetoFavorites, Universal Enveloping Algebra, Raysism, and others. Definitely a few chuckles to be had.

Here's a smart paragraph from David Hume in the God's Will post. Nothing absurd in there, but by accumulation a picture is painted of a superstitious spaz, and a clever observation is made about some dubious common behaviors.

Here's a terrific math joke from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the God's Will post. That's an insanely sharp pull. This is another joke I needed help with, but like I said before that's not always a bad thing. I reject the notion that jokes that require a Google or Wikipedia search are somehow less great than jokes that do not, if only because that line of thinking ignores the fact that most people are a lot smarter than I am, and my limited knowledge of things should not be any kind of criteria for judging the success of a joke. Anyway, this is a great joke, and I needed help with it, and once I got there, I marveled at both the humor of the joke and the incredible intellect required to snag that reference.

And finally, here's a terrific catch from someone called CallMeRabies in the Chris Culliver post. It's got a great delivery, too. It's one of those jokes where every additional word that wasn't used would have significantly impeded the humor. CallMeRabies made a smart connection, one that's plenty strong enough to carry a joke, and just let the connection do all the work.

Total Fucking Duds

No fucking way. 29 Favorites! 29!

Keep it up! I might have to get even more selective about Favorites going forward. As it stands, I still left out more than a few strong jokes that would absolutely have made the Favorites a few months ago.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

IronMikeGallego dropped the Comment of the Day in the PED Report post. I'll admit, I needed a minute with this one, but it was well worth it. It's so good, I'm honestly astonished it hasn't been made already.

Here's a funny list from Sgt. Hammerclaw in the PED Report post. This is sort of a funny-by-accumulation joke, with some inside baseball thrown in at the end.

Here's a hilarious glance behind the curtain from Universal Enveloping Algebra in the Duke Fan Letter post. This is great. It's essentially self-deprecating humor rendered absurd. Good stuff.

Raysism had several winners today. First came this dig in the Duke Fan Letter post, poking fun at both the writer and the school, and (I suspect) trolling the burner crowd. Later, I enjoyed this stupid Dolly Parton joke in the NCAA Gigantism post. It's actually a pretty solid reference, and I laughed at it. And finally, here's a terrific visual joke in the Facebook Fan Map post. Raysism is good for one or two of these every few weeks, and I love 'em.

Here's a funny insert from BronzeHammer in the Duke Fan Letter post. A couple of funny ideas there, finished with a solid punchline. Nice job.

Here's a fantastic dig from DougExeter in the Rob Ryan post. It took a slight edit of the italicized text to pull it off, but I'll forgive it. The end result is a smart, funny shot at a genuine dick. Later, DougExeter contributed this evil one-liner in the ESPN Blunder post, apparently redeeming all of Deadspin's "awful" one-liners. Thanks!

I laughed heartily at this silly fat joke from SavetoFavorites in the Glen Davis Exclamation post, and it looks like I was mostly alone. Ah well. I think it's hilarious. A series of funny images made funnier by their grouping.

Here's a bizarre, unexpected wordplay joke from cobra, brah! in the NCAA Gigantism post. The sheer randomness of this comment is most of what makes it funny. It's damn near an Idiot joke, the punchline is so thin. And? I chuckled. Good shit.

There are two very funny disintegrating poems from David Hume here in the Rigged Super Bowl Refs post, but I genuinely thought either one was funny enough alone to make its way into the Favorites. Enjoy!

Here's a strong dialogue joke from some guy called Soulpatch in the Ray Lewis post. One of the replies makes me wonder if it's structurally some kind of rip-off, but anyway, surely this exact joke has never been made before and, anyway, it brought out a chuckle. Keep it up, guy.

And finally, here's an excellent contribution from Theodore Donald Kerabatsos in the Facebook Fan Map post. Just a funny observation about Facebook behavior packaged inside a breezy one-liner. Awesome.

Total Fucking Duds

Not tonight, gentlemen. Nothing stood out as especially awful.

Sleep tight! Have wonderful dreams of warm air and cool breeze and soft grass and flying and flying and flying and flying. Nighty-night.