Thursday, May 30, 2013

Wednesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from Wednesday's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

I laughed at this very convincing gag from Insert Clever Name in the Daily Screencap post. I was just finishing my groan upon reading the opening question when it started to click. Great job.

I am frankly astonished that this joke from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Shane Victorino post didn't rake in the +1s. That is hysterical, one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Even the name Osama bin Seinfeld is good for an out-of-control laugh.

Total Fucking Duds

I really can't stand this Lana, Lana,...LANAAAAAA!!! person. Really. Here's another straight-up rent-a-joke in the LeBron Internship post. God this is depressing.

And here's another rent-a-joke, this time from Brando in the Robert Coello post. I just hate this. Hate.

Here's the world's laziest joke, from some total hack called tattooofkapernacus in the Olympic Wrestling post. Grow a brain, asshole.

And . . . that's it! Quiet day, Wednesday. Ah well.

Hey, quick note: Raysism's Tournament of Commenters sounds like a fun thing. You should participate. Yes, you.

Have a great night, everyone.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from Tuesday's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

This recontextualization from IronMikeGallego in the ESPN Memo post is good for a hearty laugh. That's a terrific pull.

Here's a humdinger from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the TMZ post. Holy cow. This is the kind of comment that makes people want to crack their own killer jokes instead of droning on and on about whether Tony Parker is better than Chris Paul. More jokes! All of you! More goddamn jokes!

I enjoyed this line from ObscureSimpsonsReference in the TMZ post. It follows a familiar structure, where a line or quote is made goofy and unwieldy by replacing a word or words with something clunky and specific. This can be a very easy joke type - even, at times, too easy - and so it's important that the new content have the right out-of-sync-ness with the original line. The safety data request is perfectly inappropriate for the tone, and the exclamation point really drives home the silliness. Good stuff.

I laughed aloud at this line from Demps351 in the Joshua Sale post. That's excellent! Somebody get this guy a goddamn avatar!

I also laughed at this offering from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Joshua Sale post. I'm not even entirely sure what it means, but I laughed at it. Nice job.

I feel like this one-liner from darinh in the Rob Ford Cake post is good for a chuckle. Nothing super-ambitious about it, just a funny visual based upon a clever observation. Great job.

Here's a welcome visit from Madoffs Mets in the Livestrong post. It's very encouraging to see Madoffs Mets in the comments. Stick around, friend.

And, finally, this is so dumb and charming, from FreemanMcNeil in the Eric Wedge post. So silly.

Total Fucking Duds

Here's brain-dead jackass 65powertossfap reminding us all that some shows are funny sometimes and also that he is not and probably never has been, in the Brittney Griner post. Make your own jokes, jerk-off.

How about a recycled line from the awful Lana, Lana,...LANAAAAAA!!! in the Joshua Sale post? Because, really, who doesn't like a recycled line?

Here's a boring, uninspired one-ball joke from I Love Big TDs in the Livestrong post. Nice try, dingus.

I found this thread to be excruciating and so, so depressing. Let's just minimally change several goddamn paragraphs of dialogue from a well-known movie and tell ourselves we're making jokes. This stuff kills my mood. Go to hell, decgeek and token_liberal. Couple o'morons.

That's it! We're behind by almost a day, but we're still cookin'. Have a great night, everyone.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Memorial Day Roundup

It was Memorial Day, right?

Favorites and duds from Monday's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a fairly straightforward one-liner from DougExeter in the Danica Patrick post. This may not blow your hair back, but it's definitely good for a chuckle. Later, this comment (which is very funny) in the Tim Duncan Video post caused quite a lot of confusion among the idiots. I highly encourage everyone to have a look through the resulting thread.

And finally, I enjoyed this line from IronMikeGallego in the Dusty Baker post. Very sharp and delivered beautifully. Nice job.

Total Fucking Duds

Enjoy your Tuesday. We'll have a Roundup for today sometime tonight. Make jokes!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a clever and funny one-liner from Bevraj of Choice in the Joakim Noah post. Simple, straightforward, funny. Good stuff. Later, Bevraj of Choice also contributed this dynamite joke in the Lance Armstrong post. That's really great.

Here's a killer one-liner from what_dreams_are_madoff in the first ESPN Layoffs post. Perfect! Letter fucking perfect. Great job.

And here's a funny pull from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the first ESPN Layoffs post. Nothing complicated about this, just a heads-up reference twisted into something silly and funny.

Here's a fairly spectacular comment from Tim Burke (of all people) in the Lance Armstrong post. Yowza! Fire away, author!

Here's a downright uncomfortable wordplay joke from Steve U in the Lance Armstrong post. I laughed aloud at this. Or grimaced. Or both. And later, here's a very clever offering in the Playgirl post. That's terrific. And even later, here's a hilarious dig in the Rick Reilly post. Man is that good.

Here's a very cobra, brah! joke from cobra, brah! in the Lance Armstrong post. Among Deadspin commenters, cobra, brah! is perhaps the most likely to sweat out a grueling wordplay joke. It's a high-wire act: sometimes the work overpowers the punchline, and other times it all comes together for a kick-ass comment. This is very definitely the latter.

Here's an outstanding dig from Dave Algonquin (WWTD?) in the Rick Reilly post. A short-but-patient set-up to a very straightforward joke. Excellent.

And also in the Rick Reilly post, here's a great wordplay dig from The Amazing Sneijderman. I like the jokes that find a creative way to work in an idiom - the payoff is so immediate in that moment of recognition.

This joke, from Same Sad Echo in the Rick Reilly post, utilizes a clever, familiar ploy: the structure itself is the punchline. Instead of a traditional setup, the structure of the joke - a limerick - establishes a rhythm and rhyme expectation that is then spectacularly defied. There's the joke, but by utilizing that joke type Same Sad Echo gives himself an opportunity to fill in both the pre-punchline portion of the joke and the payoff with his own brand of humor - his silly content fills in the area around the delivery of the joke with personality and charm. It's like telling two very good jokes at once.

I laughed at this completely stupid photoshop job from Carrie Hunt and the Spoonerisms in the Mario Williams post. I find this kind of humor irresistible. I am powerless against it.

And, finally, here's a special nod to DubaiAfterDark for a very funny joke over on Sidespin. That's great.

Total Fucking Duds

Fucking idiot Lumpy Jackson saw the word "spit" in the Spitball post and had the least original or creative thought possible: Ah saw sumthin' funnuh-lahk with that thar word one tahm! Well, congratulations, asshole.

And here's some inane shit from FunkFactor5 in the Keepy-Uppy post. Boy do I miss the days when this throwaway junk would have been hidden in the gray.

Here's a completely empty and useless comment from total moron Andrew Daisuke in the X-Games post. With this contribution you're every bit as fresh and interesting as your namesake, and that's not anything like a compliment.

This is really fucking shameful, from Hit Bull Win Steak in the Super Bowl Hosting post. This joke is a direct copy of this tweet from yesterday. You should donate that +1 to charity and then go stand in the corner, asshole.

Keep at it, funny types!


Monday, May 20, 2013

Monday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's David Hume with an absurd, hilarious sequence in the Darren Rovell post. This was the best of the very few jokes even attempted today on Deadspin.

I chuckled at this line from SavetoFavorites in the Adorable Goal post. Befuddledly, eh?

Also in the Adorable Goal post, here's a winning dialogue joke from BurnerWilliams. Good stuff.

Here's a rather dark wordplay gag from cobra, brah! in the Skylar Diggins post. Nice pull, bucko.

This goofy slapstick joke from Poignant Theater in the Skylar Diggins post is good for a chuckle. So dumb.

This joke, from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Skylar Diggins post, deserved a little more attention. I needed a second or two to put it together, but it's pretty damn funny.

This, from IronMikeGallego in the Miguel Photoshop post, is a little bit inside-baseball-y, but it's funny. Or, anyway, I laughed.

Total Fucking Duds

And here's JobuNeedsARefill86, just doing what he does. Christ.

Alright, so, obviously there were a goddamn TON of lousy, throwaway, comments on Deadspin today. With few exceptions, any comment that wasn't listed in the Favorites today would never ever ever have been visible outside of a Drew post back in the days of the approval system. I know we don't have ninjas anymore, but there's got to be some way to knock the boring same-old-sports-website commentary back behind the Pending Submissions tab.

Hey, good to see you. We're back at it again tomorrow. Make jokes!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Well, This Was Bound to Happen.

Check back Monday for [gulp] Roundups. I figure this version of Kinja is about as close as we can reasonably hope to get to the former approval system. Let's make the best of it, eh?