Some favorites and very few duds from Tuesday's commenting, the day Paolo.Lex was finally drop-kicked into a blazing coal furnace.
Favorites, in no particular order:
MarkKelsosMigraine offered a few winners on what was a fairly quiet day in Deadspin commenting. In the Wake Up Deadspin post, I enjoyed this very straightforward one-liner aimed at, of all people, Pat Nixon. Hilarious. Later, in the Overzealous Ball Boy post, he went back to the Republican politicians theme with another one-liner, earning a round of applause. Nice work.
Gamboa Constrictor showed up again today, offering this deliciously cringe-inducing one-liner in the Rampage Jackson post. Man, that's terrific.
Raysism had a very good day today, leaving first this funny one-liner in the Seattle Streakers post, and later contributing this very sharp one-liner to the Jimmer Fredette post. Raysism hasn't been featured for very long, but he has an obvious talent for one-liners and recontextualizations. These were just two of his many solid offerings from Tuesday.
Also in the Jimmer Fredette post, Hatey McLife cracked me up with this clever wordplay joke. I'm surprised this comment didn't earn a little more attention from the crowd. I thought it was hilarious.
In the MLB Video post, I appreciated this joke, from fat-leaveher, for its heretofore unused structure and successful punchline. That's thinking outside the box. Great job.
I fought my way through the Funbag and came away with this gem from Eddie Murray Sparkles. I don't really bother looking for duds any longer in Drew's posts - mostly, I scan for any truly disgraceful approvals and for the odd masterpiece. I'm so glad I bothered today, because this is just another amazingly sharp comment from one of our favorite guys. Great, great work.
Same Sad Echo struck again today with another silly and (yes) charming dialogue joke in the Thrashers Tickets post. I loved this. When I see a joke like this from one of a few guys (Same Sad Echo, Vodkanaut, All Over But The Sharting, etc.), I get genuinely excited. They're not all home runs, but when they are, they really crack me up, and even when they come up short, I always appreciate the effort.
And finally, I have learned that there's at least one guy on Deadspin for whom one should always make the effort to look up an obscure reference: MattinglysSideburns. This one, in the Thrashers Tickets post, didn't necessarily require a trip to Wikipedia, but it was nonetheless somewhat obscure and was certainly presented without any explanation. But that quote, when tied to that reference, is fucking outstanding. I laughed and laughed at this. I generally caution against too much obscurity, but for whatever reason, MattinglysSideburns gets a pass. Obscure away.
Total Fucking Duds
Two duds today, both from unstarred commenters. As I noted above, I didn't bother combing Drew's Funbag post for duds - there are just too many. But for the most part, there weren't a whole lot of egregiously awful comments today. Paolo.Lex was banned this afternoon, but that hardly warrants a recap. He's been terrible as long as he's been commenting. I would wager something significant (billikenmetz's head, for example) that the bulk of the consistently, noticeably bad commenters on Deadspin are approved in a Funbag or a Jamboroo or a Drunken Hookup Failure; if featured commenters could all agree to follow Deadspin's standards of commenting when distributing approvals, even in Drew's Wild-Wild-West-style comments sections, man would I be out of a gig in no time.
Let us never speak of that again.
In the Rampage Jackson post, unstarred commenter Karen Owen's Proud Father obviously didn't work real hard on this lame contribution. There is absolutely a joke to be made from the Joe Namath comparison, but just making the comparison isn't enough. The comparison itself isn't funny - even a room full of drunk revelers wouldn't laugh at that. For new commenters, it's important to learn to distinguish between the idea behind your joke, and the joke itself. That Rampage Jackson's behavior was substantially similar to Joe Namath's famously inappropriate conduct towards Suzy Kolber is an observation - it's the idea. Now, your job as a commenter is to build that idea into a joke, a witty presentation of that idea that delivers it in the form of a punchline. And even then, you really need to ask yourself if the finished product is funny. Would you actually laugh at it? Believe me, you should be tossing aside a lot of jokes, especially if your idea of a comment often boils down to "this is like Joe Namath". If that seems tedious or like an unjustifiably high standard, you're probably commenting on the wrong website.
The other dud comes from 214w, and it's awful, but what else do we expect from this guy? He makes no effort to be funny and never has. If Paolo.Lex can be suspended and banned, surely a guy whose most consistent contribution to Deadspin commenting is the same hostile, tone-deaf, semi-literate pro-LeBron rant can be summarily executed, right? This guy makes no effort to be funny. He is not a Deadspin commenter. He is a troll, plain and simple.
Hey, I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. I obviously took Memorial Day off myself, but we're back in gear at Mad Bastards All, so here's to another excellent DUAN.