Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wednesday Roundup

Some favorites and a selection of duds from Wednesday's commenting.

, in no particular order:

Same Sad Echo contributed a fantastic Photoshop joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post, earning a big round of applause. It can be done! This is creative, original humor, packaged in a visual medium, and furthermore, I'm not sure this joke can be made any other way. Great job.

DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver slayed me with this long dialogue joke featuring Andy Rooney in the Lance Armstrong post. Boy, that's terrific. So much of what makes a long comment like this work is the tone; they tend to work for me when the writing imparts silliness to the whole joke - in other words, it usually won't work if it's just an elaborate set-up. The writing charms the reader and keeps them entertained before the punchline. In this joke, there really isn't a punchline, just a long, funny satire of Andy Rooney's predictable crotchetiness, but silliness abounds to wonderful effect. That's a great comment.

Raysism earned a round of applause for this sharp one-liner in the FIFA Vote post. This guy's been killing lately.

Also in the FIFA Vote post, Eddie Murray Sparkles made another hiding-in-plain-site joke, simultaneously cracking me up and driving me absolutely crazy. I cannot do this, I absolutely never could, I absolutely never will be able to. This is Eddie Murray Sparkles's specialty on Deadspin, and it's taken me a while to put my finger on it. For a while there, I thought of him as a one-liner specialist, and it's a fair designation because he regularly constructs fantastic one-liners. But his specific and singular skill is the ability to find and brilliantly twist otherwise totally overlooked details from a post in ways that are both wholly unexpected and forehead-slapping-ly apparent. It's ingenious.

Our guy All Over But The Sharting dropped another hilarious Olive Garden joke in the Italian Soccer Corruption post, earning another round of applause. I'm glad these are appreciated; they're very well written, very creative, wholly original, and damn it, they're funny. I have totally come around on the Olive Garden jokes. I wouldn't recommend every other Deadspin commenter go out and construct a repeating, signature joke, because it would become annoying in no time, but these work. They're funny. Damn funny.

I really enjoyed this offering from dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac in the Cubs Logo post. There were quite a few solid comments in that post, but this was the best. Nice work.

MattinglysSideburns checked back in with this outstanding comment in the Kenny Chesney post. Like yesterday's comment this was not very obscure, but it's another example of him directing a section of italicized text in the perfect direction for a laugh. It's possible he's the champion of the italicized text.

Our guy SavetoFavorites had another pair of winners on Wednesday. I laughed at this super-silly dialogue joke in the Retiring Shaq post. I started giggling at Dunkin' Coolatta and laughed aloud at the final line. It's just so goofy and funny. Later, his simple repurposing of the graphic in the Miami Heat Logo post earned a big round of applause. That's great hustle.

And finally, DUAN regular sweatingmullets contributed this winner in the Golf Cart Accident post. It's an excellent reference, and he packaged it very well. Nice job.

Total Fucking Duds

Unstarred commenter Tanfastic left this comment in the Wake Up Deadspin post. Here's the thing: that he and I agree that Rex Ryan's quote is bizarre and funny is not, itself, funny. It's certainly not creative or original. Secondly, I disagree wholeheartedly that Rex Ryan's quote is the best possible Deadspin comment on the interaction. You know what would have been a better comment? Any comment at all. Literally any attempt at making an original joke would have been better than just copying and pasting a line of text verbatim and then remarking that it's funny. Like this. And this. And even this. Generally speaking, Tanfastic is making a genuine effort to be funny on Deadspin - this was a giant, giant failure.

Hit Bull Win Steak went back to the "catcher as gay euphemism" trough and came back with this totally lame offering in the Wake Up Deadspin post. As with the John Amaechi meme, I have this to say about the catcher-or-Packer meme; it is no longer funny that the word catcher can be used as a gay euphemism. You're going to need to do something really original with that to avoid coming off like a humorless Neanderthal.

In the Kid-Dropping Dodger Fan Video post, unstarred commenter Hurricane_Ditka offered this. First of all, dick, you needn't point out that you're not being witty or funny. We get it. Second of all, if your comment starts with "[t]his isn't witty or funny on my part . . ." stop right where you are, delete everything, and move on to another post. If you can't be funny, don't comment. Nobody needs you to point out that a guy who dumps his kid for a foul ball is a moron, moron.

In the FIFA Vote post, Captain_Lou left ye olde The Simpsons quote, but why? That The Simpsons once had a famous episode that dealt with voting is not, itself, funny. I'm probably beating a dead horse here; it seems the commentariat will never give up on leaching the funny from direct quotes and lyrics and videos and photos. Ah well.

Unstarred commenter kbjone contributed this comment to the FIFA Vote post, in the So-Bad-It's-Almost-Wonderful category. He wasn't the only one to go with the straightforward comparison to some noteworthy tyrannical despot, but the parenthetical add-on is just so awesomely bad. Good work.

In the Kenny Chesney post, unstarred commenter BigDkMgee offered this clumsy one-liner. I think I understand where this was supposed to go, but it absolutely did not get there. Take a minute or two and finesse that thing into something respectable. Or, better yet, leave that particular joke on the drawing room floor and move on to something else.

And finally, here's a nudge to our guy MarkKelsosMigraine, for his ongoing Cold War with an unapproved commenter. From time to time there were funny moments in this saga, but aren't there actual jokes to be made throughout the day? Is this really the best way to show up on Deadspin's comments sections, chasing around a pink commenter? This was entertaining, to be sure, but only for featured commenters. It's an in-joke. Know where in-jokes belong? DUAN. The average Deadspin reader has no access whatsoever to the punchline of this joke, and in that way, it lacks a coherent punchline as a comment. That it went on in multiple threads throughout the day is really irritating.

Alright, folks. You may have noticed, I more or less ignored the Amazing Stories post. I mean, I searched it for winners, but I totally ignored it when it came to duds. That kind of post seems to invite a lot of conversation and bad commenting, like a Drew post or pretty much anytime Emma expresses anything even remotely resembling an opinion. Fuck it - it's my blog.

Have a great DUAN!


  1. Motherfuck. And I was the one who approved Tanfastic too.

    -1 to me...

  2. @FavreFAIL

    Tanfastic is not even remotely among the worst Deadspin commenters. He, unlike a great many unstarred types, almost always attempts to contribute humor. He missed badly with this one, but if you're going to approve someone, you'd rather they be the kind of guy who misses trying to be funny than a moron who rants about LeBron haters or gives out -1s because Bush wasn't at a baseball game.

  3. Awesome as usual. I missed a lot of the winners today. Great stuff.

  4. Messr. Shitehawk,

    Interesting concept (not to mention impressive productivity) with this blog, my man. Here's hoping my first appearance is in the top - rather than bottom - half of your post.

    I'm not sure whether would even be possible (and if so, how -- guess I'm more of a "macro ideas" guy), but a potential supplement to your posts could be a chart or graphic that outlines favorites/duds on a daily basis and/or keeps a running tally of the number of each doled out for the week/month/year, the latter of which could even offer an (inherently subjective yet still somewhat) objective measure of commenters' performances over the medium- or even long-term. Anyway, just a thought.

    Sr. Flandangles

  5. you're with me, failure.