Tuesday Roundup

Some favorites and a selection of duds from Tuesday's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Bernie Carbomb cracked me up with this shot at Nomar Garciaparra in the Wake Up Deadspin post. Later, in the Non-Existent Championship Rings post, he earned an ovation for this delicious Michael Jordan joke. And finally, his was the best comment in the Howard Kurtz post. Nice work today.

I can't link to Hatey McLife's clever dig at a horrid movie in the Canucks Fans Screenshots post, but you should find it. It's good for a chuckle.

AzureTexan left this funny contribution in the MLB Realignment post, earning a round of applause. I'll be honest, here: I hated almost everything that took place in the comments section of this post today. This particular comment was good for a giggle, though.

The other winner in the MLB Realignment post came from unstarred commenter ToddReesingsTurfFacial, with this anomaly. It's an anomaly because the whole "the last time a ..." joke format is usually a fucking train-wreck. The reference needs to be spot-on, and this one is. Nice work.

I also cannot link to Same Sad Echo's wonderful dialogue joke in the Football Cops post, but it's damn funny. The characterization of Eli is hysterical.

In the same post, Eddie Murray Sparkles cracked me up and received an ovation for his re-titling of the show/commercial. I can't link to it, but it's the featured comment.

And finally, also in the Football Cops post, I really enjoyed IronMikeGallego's clever lyric joke. That's a nice catch. Many a bonehead commenter went with this same idea, but IronMikeGallego's was the best by far.

Total Fucking Duds

The MLB Realignment post was a disaster. This kind of post seems to draw out a lot of not-even-attempting-to-be-funny style commenting, which of course drives me crazy. I won't mention every single bad comment - there were just too many. Here's a selection:

Unstarred commenter Farewell, My LeBroncubine dropped this gigantic waste of time and space, thoroughly representing the "not funny" crowd. This really does frustrate me, and I can appreciate how bizarre that must sound to someone who doesn't obsess over Deadspin commenting like I do. It's crazy, I know. But I can't stand to see so many comments in a single post make no attempt at humor. It's the one rule of Deadspin commenting!

This is also representative of that kind of comment, but I felt I had to include it for the sheer worthlessness of it. I feel confident in guessing that unstarred commenter viddy210 - would be happier if Power Wagons came w/ 6spds was approved on a Drew post for something that wasn't funny at all. A quick scan through his comments tells me he's never contributed anything worthy to Deadspin's comments and probably never will. It's also pretty funny for the pink reply from VikeDawg, which is about as dumb a statement as a sentient being can utter.

And I feel I have to include this and this from nightelfmohawk, who apparently lurks around Deadspin waiting exclusively for those moments when he/she can offer something completely useless and unfunny without being noticed. This is a featured commenter, and when an anonymous person laments on my blog about how seemingly arbitrary and inconsistent the starring of commenters is, nightelfmohawk is the first name that comes to mind. All day long (all fucking day!), one post after another invites commenters to be funny and make jokes and share in the fun, and all day long, every day, nightelfmohawk is nowhere to be seen. The only time this person ever ever ever comments is when he/she has nothing funny to say about anything, and it's an insult to the commenters (featured and unstarred) who make a genuine effort to follow the rule of Deadspin commenting and work to craft worthy jokes. This is some blah-blah-blah claptrap moron from Gawker, some airhead tourist, making no effort whatsoever to do what is done on Deadspin. Needless to say, this makes me absolutely insane.

And finally, because I apparently only noticed not-funny offerings today, here's a bunch of rambling craziness from someone called superfluousK, in Emma's Olympics post. I'm not sure it was such a great idea to promote that thing without dropping a hilarious reply.

At some point this week, I'm going to do a good roundup. Yesterday's oozed contempt, and today's is just flat. Sorry about that. In other news, we've got a handful of non-roundups coming down the pike, so hopefully we'll be able to offer something a lot more interesting pretty soon.

Hey, enjoy your DUAN!