Monday, June 6, 2011

Monday Roundup

Many favorites and very few duds from Monday's commenting.

, in no particular order:

IronMikeGallego connected on another home-run ball with this long-form boxing comment and joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post. Let that be another lesson to new commenters on how to make an educated comment and an excellent joke without settling for the old /dick joke standby.

Also in the Wake Up Deadspin post, I enjoyed this excellent recontextualization from unstarred commenter MaverickIsAirborne. Behind this joke is a solid premise, but the joke stands out because of the way it streamlines the recontextualization format. I'd like to see more of this - commenters getting further and further away from the old line-of-italics-followed-by-line-of-explanation template. There are times when that specific format is required to punch up the punchline, but often enough, it could be replaced with a more sophisticated approach. For MaverickIsAirborne's efforts, his comment was promoted and received a +1. Nice work.

I was thrilled to see AzureTexan active on Deadspin today. This comment, in the Dane Sardinha post, is a characteristically confident, silly reimagination from the content of the post, and it was wonderful to see.

Also in the Dane Sardinha, Dandy Koufax contributed this clever wordplay joke, earning a round of applause. His was the best attempt by far at making the "it sounds like sardines" joke.

In the West Virginia Toxic Circus post, Bevraj of Choice took a kick-em-when-they're-down shot at an easy target. This kind of humor cracks me up, but I'm not sure I like what that says about me. Something about a hopelessly downtrodden target absorbing another demoralizing blow - I'm laughing as I think about it.

MarkKelsosMigraine had a pair of winners on Monday. The crowd enjoyed his dig at John F. Kennedy Jr. in the West Virginia Toxic Circus post, and this joke, in the Ndomukong Suh post, is one of the most ruthless, disgusting, outrageously insensitive jokes I've read on Deadspin in eons. I loved it. I'm ashamed to say I laughed and laughed when I read it.

UweBollocks also had a nice day today, first drawing a huge ovation with this clever joke in the Azerbaijani Reporter post, and later cracked me up with this silly dig at Bryan Adams in the Ndamukong Suh post. Nice work.

Our guy dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac also left a winner in the Ndamukong Suh post, drawing an ovation from the crowd with this excellent Magic Johnson joke. So good. My favorite thing about dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac's comments is the care in delivery; you virtually never see a clumsily placed punchline or an excess of words. It's expert-level craftsmanship.

Delonte, Interrupted also contributed a winner to the Ndamukong Suh post with this excellent pull. It's a very clever reference to another recent Deadspin post, and the crowd really enjoyed it.

This comment, from Bernie Carbomb, also in the Ndamukong Suh post, really cracked me up. He wasn't the only commenter to make that connection, but his was the best. Excellent job.

MBA heartthrob Eddie Murray Sparkles cracked me up twice today. I chuckled at this recontextualization in the Hamilton Nolan Boxing post, but I've mentioned before, I'm a big sucker for Disney/cartoon/classic video game jokes. Whatever. It's fucking funny, alright? STOP JUDGING ME! Later, in the Classic Sports Guy post, I needed a few seconds with this excellent functions-as-a-caption joke, but I got there. That's fantastic.

Unstarred commenter earned a promotion with this thoughtful wordplay joke in the Ryan Giggs Affair post. That's a job well-done. That he apparently beat Bevraj of Choice to the hoop is, itself, an accomplishment. Stick to this kind of commenting,, and you'll go far.

Also in the Ryan Giggs Affair post, unstarred commenter Wolfsheim also made waves with a well-made wordplay joke. Excellent job. For his efforts, the comment received a promotion and some nice applause. Same advice, here: do this. This is good commenting.

Raysism cracked me up with this simple, funny shot at the Sports Guy in the Grantland Countdown post. Simple, effective.

In the Council of Wisdom post, I was surprised this comment from FavreFail didn't earn a little more love from the crowd. That's a clever, well-made joke, and I really enjoyed it. Nice work.

And finally, this crude caption from OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas in the Game 3 Losers post was good for a laugh and an ovation from the crowd. So funny.

Total Fucking Duds

Unstarred commenter WitDickman stopped immediately after having the idea with this comment in the Wake Up Deadspin post. This can be a tough concept to accept, but new commenters have to learn to distinguish between the funny idea behind the joke and the joke itself. And here would have been a great opportunity for a photoshop, too (the rare time when a visual joke doesn't make me want to stab myself).

I can't decide what's funnier about this wayward effort from unstarred commenter Mopy in the Wayne Rooney Hair Plugs post; the wrongheadedness of the comment itself? The fact that the joke had already been attempted by a handful of clueless pink commenters? The fact that a pink commenter replied to it with WIN, as if it's the funniest comment ever? The fact that it was the second time he tried to post it? Or is it that, when he failed to post it the first time, he edited the comment to say (i really have to get better at my pic posting ability)? The whole thing's hysterical. Mopy, start making jokes, and fast.

I'm a big fan of snoop-a-loop, and so it pains me to include him in the Duds today. But it's with a polite, good-humored elbow-nudge that I submit my disapproval of this comment, in the Ndamukong Suh post.
I'm pretty damn sure that's supposed to reference the "olive oil voice and guinea charm" line from The Godfather, and perhaps also from the repertoire of MarkKelsosMigraine. At the heart of this comment is a fairly funny payoff, the whole "absolutely disgusting in real life" bit, which is an appropriately juiced punchline. But there's a failure of execution here. I realize there's no way to make the joke without changing the line, but that's ultimately a good reason to not make the joke. I will now slink over to the corner of my mom's basement and pop pimples on my face for 12 hours.

And finally, a not-funny comment from unstarred commenter FedorovsGoldenMane in the Tim Donaghy post. Be funny. I agree the Donaghy posts are useless. DUAN would be a great place to start that conversation.

Here's a reminder to send me any comments from anyone that I may have missed in the Favorites. Any number of knock-out comments are submitted in DUAN, at night, or over the weekend that I make no effort to find or praise. If you spot one (or make one yourself), please email it to Every so often, on a weekend, I'll pull all these together and post them for everyone's enjoyment. I really will.

Here's another idea I'm kicking around (and further evidence that I have nothing meaningful in my life): I'm thinking of keeping record of some all-time great comments. Recently there have been a few DUAN threads about all-time comments. This would seem a logical place to keep a reference of such things. Please send me any nominations, and be sure to label them such that they are distinguished from the other list.

Happy DUAN, y'all.


  1. To Maverick is Airborne: I did not see your earlier Magic Johnson joke, I swear.

    To unstarred commenter Treewiu: His face is made out of pepperoni you fucking imbecile.

    To MBA: Thanks.

  2. It would be nice -- albeit time-consuming -- if you kept records or some kind of spreadsheet of the day's favorites and duds. That way you could cite statistics about hot streaks and slumps and make us obsess over this even more.

    -- W.F. Champions

  3. Wolfsheim crushed one today, in my opinion. I think he's shown up on the the duds previously. Here's hoping that this is his 'light bulb' moment.


  4. For a good read, check out the link below. I suggest scrolling down to Mecca of Powerlifting. But replace "Westside" with "Deadspin" and general weightlifting talk with humor talk, and I think you'll be able to relate to what's being said.

  5. @W.F. Champions

    Would you then have to include stats on MBA posts in your MBA Commenting blog?

  6. I deserve getting dinged for that olive oil post. It was a reach, and it didn't work. Love the site though, keep up the good work!


  7. Yeah, so far the only stats I plan on using are Accurate Assessments and Missed Opportunities.

    And VORB, of course.

    -- W.F. Champions

  8. Did anyone else notice that guy in the USC thread who totally tried to encroach on Todd Haley's wheelhouse, brah? "Raging parties" my ass. That wasn't even close to funny.

    /has no room to talk due to his own long chain of TFD's today
    //will talk smack on others anyway

  9. @W.F. Champions

    Well, let's hope your efforts are both informative and entertaining, with none of that mindfuck business.

  10. I'm getting here late tonight (and probably will most of this month) but this is great, as usual. I'm in awe. +1

  11. Here's the one simple fix that every unstarred commenter should hear: Use fewer words. The people reading these comments are smart and well-read, and we will follow you if you are quick and to the point.

    As an example, here's my quick markup of Wolfshiem's post:


    "Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that, even though he's happy in Manchester, he does Miss Wales occasionally."

    Now that's a funny post, but it's so goddam wordy, the punchline is a little muffled. Here's how you could tighten that up:

    "A homesick Ryan Giggs admitted that, while happy in Manchester, he occasionally does Miss Wales."

    That's a much tighter sentence, and it saves the energy for a great finishing punchline.

    By the way, this is not to pick on Wolfsheim -- this is what I do to my posts every single day. What starts off as a 30-word, two sentence post often ends up as a 10-word dagger. Once you've mastered the efficient one-liner, you can move on to the more complicated stylings that you see from the greats, but the quick punchline needs to be your go-to comment.

    Just my two cents. I enjoy the blog...

    -- Raysism

  12. Raysism,

    It's like, I don't know, a great The Strokes song vs. a great Explosions in the Sky (or Godspeed you Black Emperor if you're feeling really saucy) song. Both are, to me anyway, enjoyable. But the payoff when Explosions or GBYE get around to it, is immensely more enjoyable.

    Problem is, those songs are so much harder to write, I would think-I'm not a musician. Or maybe they just require much more patience.

    Anyway, that Cookie Johnson joke, was clearly a Strokes song. The dialogue jokes, or movie script type things are my Explosions jokes. They're much harder to come by, but I love making a good one so much more than the one liners.

    You're just going on a little journey to who knows where and then -bam- punchline. Sometimes it's misdirection and sometimes its just a slow burn. Either way the payoff is worth it.

    Anyway, I think I generally agree with what you're saying, I just wouldn't want to make people feel like they need to pigeonhole themselves to be funny, and then get nuts. If your style is to get nuts, I say get nuts. Just be funny nuts.

  13. Cheese-Mac,

    Who the fuck are those bands?


  14. MKM,

    You aren't ready for that yet. But your kids...will probably not know who they are, either.