Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wednesday Roundup

(For our recent AzureTexan Profile in Commenting, click here.)

Some favorites and a few duds from Wednesday's commenting.

, in no particular order:

MarkKelsosMigraine put a funny spin on his recurring joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post. I really enjoyed this.

Hatey McLife delivered another couple of winners today, first dropping this Sammy Davis Jr. joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post, and later offering this rather gross quote in the Pot, Porn, & Port-a-John post. Good work.

Unstarred commenter Raysism contributed this stupendous long-form joke to the Mike Parker Napkin post. For his efforts, his comment was promoted and received a nice ovation. He's been very strong lately.

AzureTexan resurfaced again today with this absurd meandering comment in the Mike Parker Napkin post. Wit, which is itself a leavening agent, leavened with something something silly yadda yadda. I laughed aloud at this.

This comment, also in the Mike Parker Napkin post, was fat-leaveher's best in days and days. The joke itself is very funny, and the use of drunk-talk makes it all the funnier.

Our guy dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac also left a winner in the Mike Parker Napkin post. Dialogue jokes are becoming more and more common on Deadspin, and this is a great example.

I really, really enjoyed this comment, from OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas, in the Patrick Kane Photo post. That could be dialogue from a particularly raunchy Mel Brooks movie, and I somehow mean that as a compliment.

AzureTexan and All Over But The Sharting shared a terrific two-man thread in the Big Red Hat post. There weren't any epic threads today, but this was a sharp, funny conversation. AzureTexan's opening comment was a riot, and it was followed by three very funny replies.

All Over But The Sharting contributed two more humdingers today, as well: first, this all too accurate characterization of Los Angeles drivers was good for a laugh. Later, his shamefully insensitive photo-joke in the Robert Traylor post is absolutely the funniest photo-joke since the last time I praised a photo-joke. This is especially funny for anyone who remembers the classic Gary Coleman casket joke from however long ago. (Find it yerself, creep.)

Also in the Robert Traylor post, I really enjoyed this clever joke from In Re Hightower. Witty, subtle, and confidently delivered. Nice job.

Malik Sealy Dirt Mattress offered this excellent joke in the Bernard Hopkins post, demonstrating that potentially offensive humor, when handled with care, can be hugely successful. Terrific comment.

David Hume made another rare appearance today, contributing a hilarious dig at Donovan McNabb, also in the Bernard Hopkins post. He wasn't the only one to go that way, but his was the best by far.

Steve_U contributed this sharp, hilarious NBA joke to the BCS post. I laughed at this.

I also laughed at this simple Al Jolson joke, from FavreFail, in the Pot, Porn, and Port-a-John post. Nice job.

And finally, DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver's clever one-liner was good for a chuckle, also in the Pot, Porn, and Port-a-John post.

Total Fucking Duds

It's possible I was just in a good mood today, but I didn't pick out that many duds for this Roundup. The comment_ninja and FAILBOT were quite active, apparently targeting exactly the kinds of jokes and threads that have seemed to rejuvenate the commentariat in the past few weeks. Far be it from me to question the good work of the Comment Ninja Squadron (especially since I do think certain jokes or memes are getting worn out very quickly now that commenting numbers are starting to climb), but as I said, I think a long, goofy Val Kilmer or pun thread sort of infects the commentariat with a spirit of contributing and laughing and enjoying, which sure beats the shit out of where Deadspin commenting was 3 months ago. Still, if it's time, it's time.

And now, the duds:

In the Tampa Bandwagon post, unstarred commenter FloriTexaYork's giant wall of text obviously did not belong in a Deadspin comments section. DUAN exists for this exact kind of thing. Throw a "RE: the Tampa Bandwagon DUAN" at the top of that thing and fire it off to the up-all-night crowd, where it's likely to start a good conversation and won't be massively out of place.

The Black Jack Savant post brought out a lot of bad commenting, for whatever reason. Unstarred commenter Ayo dropped this lazy, predictable retread. There could be a good joke in the "Oh look, 'Black Jack' and 'savant' in a sentence in the same universe as the movie Rain Man!" premise, but then again, probably not.

Unstarred commenter Buford Justice chucked up a YouTube clip from Casino and, for reasons surpassing understanding, telecomic promoted it. Why? You just had to share your appreciation for the movie with a fellow enthusiast? For crying out loud, people.

Unstarred commenter whiskerbrisket annoyed the shit out of me with the other useless, totally unfunny Rain Man reference, also in the Black Jack Savant post. Unexpectedly, however, the slashies were the least annoying part of this comment. That's something.

In the Albert Pujols post, unstarred commenter El Guapo's clumsy, awkward dig at Tony La Russa fell flat, and I'm someone who compulsively laughs at even the mention of La Russa. This particular comment is over-cooked. Tone it back some, and there could be a half-decent joke in there.

The cheapest, most worthless comment of the day was made by unstarred commenter SwimminginEstrogen in the Big Red Hat post. Make a fucking joke, for Pete's sake.

Some guy called RonZookonRedBull had a rough day today. This clunker in the LA Billboard post is just a lousy rent-a-joke, awkwardly and randomly reworked from LA Confidential as an excuse for its inclusion in the thread. Lousy job. Later, he left this goofy thing in the Cool Announcer post, well past the point when I'd gotten tired of making this list and was annoyed by everything. Man, shape that thing up.

And finally, I'm forced to include MarkKelsosMigraine on this list, for a preemptive strike in the Shawn Kemp post. Was he right that many bogus jokes would take the low-hanging fruit and jab at Kemp's prolific child-making? Sure. Still, that's why Deadspin has a Comment Ninja Squadron. A preemptive strike isn't funny enough to qualify as a comment unless it is itself a joke, which this just isn't. MarkKelsosMigraine is obviously a commenting institution, and God knows I'm a huge fan, but I would be remiss if I didn't point this out. I will now sink into a super-massive black hole and endure eternal suffering.

Thanks for reading. Go DUAN!


  1. DJ Jazzy Jeff WeaverMay 11, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Thanks for the hat tip. I think the name change (from DJneuro) has revitalized some of the creative juices.

    Today was a good day all around for the commentariat.

  2. Agree 100% on MarkKelso's dud. He's way above that. For some reason he feels the need to do that or a "LAYUP" comment at times. I've noticed several of the true "stars" are equally guilty. For fuck's sake, let Ninja and Failbot do their jobs.

  3. I consistently wallow in mediocrity with comments I think are pretty good and always original but don't always strike the chord I would like them too. Every now and then, I stick my neck out extra far with a borderline joke. Today I nailed it. Very humbled by Steve_U and the great President Camacho chiming in the prize. I'll end this douchey self-righteous acceptance speech by saying thanks again M/S you are killing it everyday - something not too many DS commenters can do.

  4. I'd like to extend a personal apology if I gave the Val Kilmer meme a quicker death in the Tampa Bay Lightning post. With it's popularity lately I decided that it would best serve my "joke" instead of Kirstie Alley or Shaq. IronMike got the final word later that day to bury this meme.

  5. SwimminginEstrogenJune 22, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    If you need any proof that your efforts here are having their desired effect, which I assume to be to educate hacks like me and exhort the pros to bring their A games, look no further than this -

    I'm a relatively new commenter, still learning the ropes, and I also unfortunately arrived like two weeks before the redesign so my learning curve was all out of whack for quite a while. I basically had to pick things up as I went, never even heard of the Commentist Manifesto until this week. I've made maybe a dozen posts in the past six months. Mainly I lurk.

    So today is June 22nd, a good six weeks since this roundup was posted. I only discovered your blog this week from some clues at DS, and I actually took the time to read it straight through from the beginning (yea, I'm on summer vacation right now).

    As proof that you're helping people to "get it," as I read your comments, I began to have an "oh shit" sort of growing awareness that most of my attempts have been truly off the mark. My uneasy feeling grew when I started reading this roundup and saw the Big Red Hat post referenced, because I KNEW. Today would be the day.

    And there it was: "The cheapest, most worthless comment of the day was made by unstarred commenter SwimminginEstrogen in the Big Red Hat post."

    Accept my mea culpa, and take comfort in the fact that after spending time here, I knew that was coming from a mile away. If only I had come here first! You're truly doing the lord's work.