Thursday, April 21, 2011

I'm Having That Dream Where I'm Wearing Only My Underwear in Public

Even though this was always supposed to happen, this was never really supposed to happen.

Of course it would be Gamboa Constrictor who launched this thing into Thursday night's DUAN, revealing my silly exercise to the subjects. Yikes. Thanks a lot there, homes. You could have just returned one of my many thousands of phone calls, or, you know, looked out your bedroom window and smiled once or twice. That would have been just fine.

While I clean the vomit off my desk and keyboard, let me say, first and foremost, that I never imagined anyone anywhere would actually read this. Secretly, I always assumed the 3 comments ever posted to this blog were from my roommates, either screwing with me or encouraging me, but it turns out at least a few people have seen it, and now a whole hell of a lot of people are looking at it. I'm not sure how I feel about this, beyond the initial rush of terror. Somewhat recently, one of the aforementioned fellas walked in on me in the throes of masturbating, in such a way that I really couldn't cover it up at all, and had to face up to my shame, much to our mutual embarrassment. That's exactly, exactly what this feels like.

Now that it comes to it, I'm not exactly sure whether this thing will exist in the morning. Now that the spotlight's on, I may be a bit too snarky for my own liking. I am almost certainly too snarky for the liking of a great many perfectly qualified Deadspin commenter who I've mercilessly picked on from the comfort of my very own computer.

For the time being, I'll say the following; I don't consider this blog an ugly betrayal of Deadspin camaraderie, if only because I very rarely comment any longer on Deadspin, having been many times over eclipsed by newer, better commenters. Does this make me unqualified to rip people I pretty strongly consider better commenters than I? Yeah, maybe. Again, realize this was never really intended to be seen.

So, if you're pissed at MadBastardsAll.blogspot.com, I understand. It may all be over very soon. In the meantime, by all means, please continue to compare me favorably to my favorite commenters. I'll be quaking over here in the corner.

23 comments:

  1. I say keep going. It will further your ends. This is like Comment of the day, unofficially. It will give people something even more to strive for above and beyond the "is this hilarious?" they should be doing before they hit submit.

    Keep on keeping on.

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  2. This is fucking flawless since, unless you work at a desk or basement, cannot possibly find all of these hidden gems. DO NOT stop doing this.

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  3. If you enjoy it, keep doing it. Just as how the commenters use the anonymity of the internet to crack some of the most hilarious, insane, and tasteless jokes ever (where art thou ClintonPortisHead?) with reckless abandon, you too shouldn't feel obliged to restrain yourself just because you fear that your content may offend some.

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  4. Keep going. With the ninja effectively on hiatus, this is a great way to keep everyone honest.

    Also, the long-form stuff is pretty great.

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  5. Tom Gugliotta's Delicious FrittatasApril 21, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    THEN WHO WILL WATCH THE WATCHMEN?

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  6. As one of the lurkers who wants to comment but is petrified of failure, I love your work, because it helps highlight not only the great and horrible comments, but the structure that makes them good and bad. It is a big help. Keep going, and don't be scared of the commenters. You aren't on Hatey and Uwe's bad side.

    ...yet.

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  7. Hey man- No idea why being "outed" would bother you. The response has been overwhelmingly positive, which is a relief to me and should thrill you. You have a following now, keep shining! Constructive feedback from outside the threads is a welcome addition. On a side note, enough with the phone calls. I'll get back to you when I'm done consoling Norbizness.

    -Gamboa

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  8. You haven't even STARTED consoling me!

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  9. Please keep doing it. Until you called me out, repeatedly I may add, I had no idea I was phoning it in so much. I will try to be better because of this blog. Maybe. I don't know. Depends on if it still exists tomorrow or not. But your observations, and clear lack of a job, were spot on.

    Love,
    Phintastic

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  10. Keep it up- just don't let the fact that we know about it soften the blows. Even worse than quitting would be you changing the way you do what you do.

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  11. Please, keep at this. Pull no punches.

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  12. So is there we make outdated "Anchorman" quotes?

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  13. Let's try this again, shall we?

    Just wanted to say keep up the good work. This is awesome.

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  14. Mangini In A BottleApril 22, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    Good lord, this whole blog is INCREDIBLY insightful and really makes me realize how careless I've been in my commenting - thanks for that, and for pointing out so many shining examples of how to do it RIGHT.

    Don't stop!

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  15. When you do my "profiles in commenting", please include the fact that I smell like fresh lavender and that I am the most misunderstood hobo killer amongst all of the hobo killers in the commentariat. Thank you.

    -OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas

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  16. Definitely keep going. Just wish the links you provided went to the actual comment.

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  17. You're making Deadspin better. DUANUAN?

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  18. As a mediocre unstarred commenter, I love it. It might be easier to navigate if you copy and pasted the comments you reference as well as linking to them. But your analysis is spot-on and very enjoyable to read.

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  19. You had me at "inexplicably-starred commenter lauren_jo".

    Love this blog, and who cares if you offend people? It's your humor and you don't care if a shitty comment is from someone starred on not.

    Keep it going.

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  20. You're okay by me, for whatever apparently diminishing value that carries. Seriously, I've been terribly hacky as of late and it's guys like you (and Ninja) who keep inexplicably-starred(de-starred and re-starred) commenters like me honest.

    Keep on keepin' on.

    ToddReesingsTurfFacial

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  21. another vote for copying and pasting the comment you're commenting on

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