Thursday, November 29, 2012

Thursday Roundup

A hearty helping of favorites and a few duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

It doesn't matter to me in the slightest that this joke from IronMikeGallego in the Daily Screencap post may feature a sloppy translation. First of all, I don't speak German. Second of all, it's fucking funny. Or, anyway, I laughed at it. 

Along those same lines, here's a hysterical one-liner from Steve U, also in the Daily Screencap post. I don't need to tell anyone reading this that Steve U is one of Deadspin's all-time great commenters. It's such a relief to see him back in action. I laughed out loud at this joke. I don't know how you couldn't. 

Here's a terrific shot at Michael Jordan from Madoffs Mets in the Brad Keselowski post. I love this. Three angles: first, there's the wordplay, presented right at the very end; second, it takes a dig at Jordan's draft resume; and third, it uses the wordplay to imply that Jordan is an idiot. Excellent joke. Later, he dropped this humdinger of a one-liner in the Honey Badger post. That's really a hell of a pull. I suppose that's your Comment of the Day for Thursday. And then there's this towering homerun in the Gregg Popovich post. Goddammit, that is really terrific. Somebody throw a bucket of water on this guy. 

Poignant Theater went dark with this grim Dale Earnhardt joke in the Brad Keselowski post, earning a round of seemingly guilty applause. This joke is a tad clumsy, but the punchline is strong. Good work. 

Here's a silly dig at Ichiro from Gamboa Constrictor in the Hope Solo post. Simple and effective. 

Also in the Hope Solo post, here's a deadpan one-liner from Universal Enveloping Algebra. That's a pretty solid pull, there. 

SavetoFavorites cracked me up with this . . . ahem . . . sharp one-liner in the Paul Pierce post. I'm surprised this one didn't get a little more love. Nice job. Later, SavetoFavorites contributed this funny-as-hell screenplay joke to the Jag Rag post. That's so good. 

Here's snoop-a-loop with a funny quote in the Dangerous Boners post. This joke doesn't have to be a quote, but by assigning the line to Ryan Fitzpatrick, snoop-a-loop adds the feeling of discomfort to the joke, that embarrassment you feel on another's behalf. That's good stuff. 

This is an enormous thread featuring . . . well, everyone, in the Dangerous Boners post. Some very funny entries in there. I do love a good pyramid. 

I laughed aloud at this, from RMJ=H in the NFL Pundit Tracker post. So ridiculous. Am I the only one? I also chuckled at a goddamn Brett Favre/Visanthe Shiancoe dick joke in the Adderall post. Impossible. 

Total Fucking Duds

Some fucking nitwit who goes by aj8138 did this in the Jag Rag post. Hey, dickless, make your own goddamn photoshop. We don't take requests for jokes in the comments, dummy. 

You really have to marvel at the stupidity of this cooppers fella, who went through the trouble of creating a burner commenting account and then used it to do this in the Baylor Uniforms post. When a guy who operates a blog dedicated to chronicling the comments on another blog tells you to get a life, well [gunshot]. 

Hey, what a day today! Finishing the week strong. Keep it up, funnies.

Okay, also, I have no idea what was going on with The Amazing Sneijderman's wildly successful comment in the Hope Solo post. Just know that I tried. Really. Someone, please feel free to embarrass me down below with an explanation. 

Let's have a rip-roarin' DUAN, eh? 


  1. The Amazing SneijdermanNovember 29, 2012 at 8:22 PM

    Let me explain longwindedly:

    The last tweet in that story was "A slap and a push is not a hit!..."
    Many commenters offered their enlightened opinion on that statement.

    The first table I set up was the all time MLB hits leaders using the normal definition of a hit (post-Solo rule, i.e. what a hit is normally considered in baseball). I did make a stupid transcription error with the last number, that I realized after I couldn't edit.

    The second table was what I envisioned the all time MLB hits leaders list would look like if you didn't accept Solo's definition (pre-Solo rule). The only difference between the lists is the inclusion of Kirby Puckett in the second, who, before he was known as a Hall of Famer, was known as a spousal abuser. His number of hits is an imaginary, inflated number to represent this.

    Sorry that took so long to explain...ironic that such a simply layout for a joke with no sentences can require such a long explanation.

  2. Fair enough! It was apparently well-loved among those who are familiar with Kirby Puckett's personal history. Thanks for the explanation, buddy.

  3. For what it's worth (diddly shit), I thought CromartieFetus's comment in the Baylor uniforms post was far, far worse:

    I nearly posted a long, rambling unfunny joke referencing how goddamned stupid it is that we have to deal with that kind of bullshit on a daily basis, but I decided it would just be better to make unrelated long, rambling unfunny jokes in a couple of other threads today instead.

    1. Yeah, that really is just terrible. The truth is, I don't look all that hard for duds these days. Some posts I skip altogether. I no longer even have a reliable set of criteria for what makes a dud. Probably 75% of the total comments in a given day would have qualified as duds before Kinja. These days, I grab a couple and then try to ignore the rest.

      It's an awful comment.

  4. No kidding. I actually DID prefer the duds to the studs in the past. There used to be some sense of satisfaction to the vigilantism of the exercise, or at least something to learn or laugh at. Now they're just grim reminders of the current state of affairs. That's not to say I think you should stop doing them -- far from it. But I definitely wouldn't blame you for not criticizing a wheelbarrow full.

    Also, re: cooppers, this comment of his is fucking wild and crazy and I actually love how insane it appears to be: