Some favorites and a few duds from Thursday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
In the Wake Up Deadspin post, I chuckled quite a bit at this contribution from Vodkanaut. It's a funny characterization of Bostonians, delivered beautifully.
Also in the Wake Up Deadspin post, Sonar Jose's one-liner was one of the very best comments from Thursday, and the crowd showered it with +1s. Nice job.
Our guy Gamboa Constrictor cracked me up with this rendition of O Canada, also in the Wake Up Deadspin post. Simple and effective.
Gourmet Spud brought the house down with a terrific little exchange in the Nike Swoosh post. It's an excellent angle that he alone took, and the dialogue-style delivery really maximizes the effect.
There were many winners in the Vancouver Nerd post. I laughed at this dialogue/caption joke from Rare Endangered Vuvuzela, and it earned a little love from the crowd. The picture is made funnier by the unique set up of the caption.
Also in the Vancouver Nerd post, MattinglysSideburns earned a round of applause for this hilarious one-liner. This post was popular for all the possible angles to humor it offered, and of course MattinglysSideburns took his particular idea and cranked it into the cheap seats.
Same Sad Echo had a pair of winners on Thursday. His first came in the Vancouver Nerd post with this wonderfully silly offering. This is Same Sad Echo at his best; taking a unique, silly, unexpected angle and delivering it in a grinning, unpretentious way. Later, he did it again with this contribution to the Reactionary Rent-A-Cop post. It's a similar comment, not just in content but in possessing that funny little roundabout that makes the reader giggle.
The crowd went nuts over this contribution from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Vancouver Nerd post. You'll see that another commenter pretty shamelessly stole this concept later in the post, and it's a good chance to observe the way taking an original angle and demonstrating creativity make all the difference. Eddie Murray Sparkles didn't stop at spotting the reference; he loaded up the reference with original humor, turning a simple association into a fantastic joke. Take notes.
Steve_U got in on the act in the Vancouver Nerd post, dropping his own excellent reference and earning a round of applause. Later, in the Dick Vitale post, he took a fantastic shot at M. Night Shyamalan and earned another ovation. That second comment killed me. Steve_U doesn't do this kind of commenting very often, where he uses language to impart personality into his comments. His average comment has a strong angle or reference and crisp, elegant structure. Lately, though, it seems like maybe he's had a little more fun with style in his jokes, and man, he's damn good at it.
In the Dick Vitale post, SponsoredbyV8 left this deeply unpleasant comment, earning a huge ovation from the crowd. Boy, that's gross. Excellent, excellent job.
Bevraj of Choice cracked me up with this dig at Michael Strahan in the David Tyree post. It's another example of a commenter taking a fresh angle on a post and packaging the comment perfectly. Nice job.
For whatever reason, I died laughing at this absurd screenplay from SavetoFavorites in the Rotten Crotch post. Where the hell did that come from? So, so funny. It's possible no one saw this, because I suspect it would have gotten a lot of love otherwise.
And finally, unstarred commenter Mantis Toboggan, M.D. had another solid day on Thursday. This effort, in Barry's fantastic Riot Guy post, was his best of the day. That's a stand-out recontextualization joke. Nice work.
Total Fucking Duds
Unstarred commenter Bubbleman! Don't Metalblade me, bro! doesn't seem to understand what's going on in the Deadspin comments section at all. This offering in the Wake Up Deadspin post is obviously not a joke. I think it's the kind of thing that might make people laugh when shouted with conviction in a bar after many beers, but it won't fly on Deadspin. Later, his was just one of many terrible comments in the David Tyree post. Unfortunately, his brain-dead rambling was promoted by Rare Endangered Vuvuzela, which of course spawned a bitter conversation. Even though Rare Endangered Vuvuzela promoted it in the interests of making a fairly funny dig at the author, it would be far better to leave this kind of crap alone.
In the Vancouver Nerd post, unstarred commenter drblair did this, which I find just astonishing. Look, it goes without saying there's just no way someone could pay any attention to Deadspin comments and come away thinking this is acceptable, but beyond that, it amazes me endlessly that anyone would under any circumstances find this funny. This is the laziest possible kind of humor, and I hate it.
Also in the Vancouver Nerd post, sharkmcduff did just about the same thing. Unstarred commenters will never stop resorting to lazy, unoriginal stuff like this while featured commenters are guilty of the same thing. Drives me nuts.
Unstarred commenter gawkatrich was guilty of stepping all over Eddie Murray Sparkles's joke in the Vancouver Nerd post, as I mentioned above, with this cheap version. God, just imagine if this boring thing had come before the better version; would it have been acceptable for Eddie Murray Sparkles to leave his version? I say yes, unequivocally. In general, I'm against that kind of thing, but damn it, he had a really great joke, and it would be a shame to throw it on the heap because some lazy sack of crap took a totally unfunny shortcut to the same reference.
And finally, I feel like I have to include this awful rant from unstarred moron saxgod in the David Tyree post. Dude, it's extraordinarily unlikely that David Tyree is going to read your angry insults. Be funny to the rest of us. Not one single person on earth is interested in reading you taunting David fucking Tyree. Make jokes and be funny, and fast.
Okay! That's it! Sorry it's late - I felt like playing video games this afternoon.
Seriously, go join in DUAN. It's fun.
So, a few days before I was put out of my misery, I was thinking about Deadspin comments -- and MadBastardsAll -- as is my wont, and how to maximize the funny. I have a few proposals, then -- and as it seems (even if they will not admit it) the Ninjas read this site, I would like to use it to get the ideas vetted.
ReplyDelete(one.) Do not allow one sassy "pink" comment to open a live comment account. Anyone, even I (maybe), could catch lightning in a bottle, but few -- such as Mantis Tobaggan, M.D. -- are consistently bringing it from the word 'go'. Therefore, make a pink account prove itself with a non-Antonio-Alfonseca handful of winners before going grey ("tape-delay").
(two.) Once on tape-delay, the comments of a particular commenter will remain unviewable to all but starred commenters. This sounds like pink maintenance, but it is not: rather, while a tape-delay account will have made ten or more worthy comments, I can tell you Do Not Dissemble Your Origins, Velveeta pulls at least that many from his morning constitutional. So, an approved but delayed commenter is still, as my eleventh grade chemistry instructor would say it, "lower than whale poop".
(three.) Tape-delay comments only become viewable to all after promotion, independent of approval, by a star. (This is the same as now. Pretty much.)
(four.) While there should be neither need nor expectation of the comments of the stars requiring promotion, as ithad been lamented that some starred production will go without any pluses-one, for starred comments, I recommend allowing stars other than the commenter to make a quip to thumb it up or down, as seen at MotherJones.com and yahoo.com. And, yes, such could be rife for abuse, as known rival and/or "rival" commenters (Cheese Mac and Phintastic, DirkToberFest and MarkKelsosMigraine, to name two sparring pairs) could connive to get their enemies's comments thumbed down often enough to yield star revocation, really, I must ask -- who, among the starred, at least, takes this seriously enough to waste their precious time on Internet flame war?
(five.) While the power to star would continue to accrue to the editorial and Ninjas, say, in the case of a notably cromulent comment so tickling one or another comment moderator, from month to month, x number of stars would be revoked, then transferred to an equal number of tape-delay commenters, on the basis of lowest net of thumbs up and down and highest number of promotions, respectively. Consider it like promotion and relegation in football.
(six.) Commenter of the Year recipients would remain at the discretion of the editorial and Ninjas, regardless thumb up and down counts and promotion earned. In the end, Deadspin commenting is not a democracy. And with respect commenter of the year, look at the selection of her/him/them in the same way Hugh Hefner picks Playmate of the Year: fan-voting is taken into consideration, but know that Hef prefers blondes. Likewise, Ninjas like dead babies (not named 'Conor Clapton' (thus explaining karlifornia and hatey mc life as comment champions)).
(seven.) To the benefit of MadBastardsAll, never again will they have to beseech, at seeing a terribly sucky comment, "Who approved this piece of shit that said this? Whoever it were, I wish I could skull-fuck to death". Why, though? Because, with ten approvals required toward enlivening, we can know, for sure, that a given commenter was worth more than a skull-fucking, at one time.