Monday Roundup

Some favorites and a few duds from Monday's commenting:

Favorites, in no particular order:

OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas had a terrific Brady Bunch reference/pun in the Bulging Dick post, which seemed to draw a handful of useless, stupid comments. Good job, there.

Unstarred commenter Rare Endangered Vuvuzela checked in with a clever, funny silver bullet joke in the Teen Wolf post. He had a couple promoted comments on Monday.

All Over But The Sharting earned a chuckle with a clever John Calipari/The Devil's Advocate comparison in the Scarface post. Later, I laughed at his taunting of Redskins fans in the Dead Soccer Fan post.

Eddie Murray Sparkles drew a guilty laugh with his insensitive shot at Frank Beamer in the Scarface post. Simple, but effective.

And finally, don't_forget_where_you_came_from_cheese_mac made me guffaw loudly when he referenced an abysmal failure of a comment by Billy Clyde Puckett, both in the Dead Soccer Fan post.

Total Fucking Duds (strap in, there are many)

Unstarred commenter Ram-Sacked was kind enough to point out that someone's name is different-sounding, in the Bruce Pearl Twitter post. Guh-hyuk.

I don't know what the hell norbizness was thinking with this turd in the Bruce Pearl Twitter post, but it sure as hell isn't funny. A joke that includes "e.g." anywhere in the text is doomed to fail.

A Pimp Named DaveR earned a +1 from someone with severe brain damage for a DOA Civil War joke in the VCU Riots thread. What a clunky, lazy, hair-brained sack of crap that comment is.

Someone named Starburied whiffed badly with some overcooked word-salad in the VCU Riots thread. I extracted more meaning from Serene Branson's stroke-talk.

Unstarred commenter BROnaldinho proves my theory, that there is something lower than low-hanging fruit, and there are filthy mutant degenerates who happily feast upon it. We all got a little dumber reading your comment in the Sheryl Swoopes post, homes.

Confirmed moron sacoplenty also took the trampled, molded, fallen fruit with his hopeless contribution to the Bulging Dicks post. Who would laugh at that?

Not to be outdone, fellow Deadspin troll shuttledik earned a sad trombone and a frowny face for what I suppose is a self-reference, in the Bulging Dicks post.

Regular dud-contributor goolick33 left this . . . ummm . . . lyric (?) in the AK47 post (which easily drew the greatest number of absolutely terrible comments of any post I can remember).

Guns & Ammo commenter John Gardner obviously followed the wrong link to the AK47 post, and thought it would be a good idea to enlighten us all with his expert-level knowledge of the the retail availability of semi-automatic weapons. Thanks! [brofist]

Unstarred commenter A Duck With a Lisp dropped the ol' rent-a-joke in the AK47 post. Where o where is the goddamn ninja?

Unstarred commenter Radon Zeppelin took a single line from Scarface, added the name "Shaka", hit "Submit", then sat back from his computer with a satisfied smile. That an anvil did not come crashing through the ceiling at that exact moment is a fucking travesty.

I was just not a fan of lauren_jo's contribution to the Scarface post. It sucks. It's pre-teen humor. She has a star, presumably she can do better.

And now, for the worst comment of the day, and the impetus of cheese_mac's hilarious joke in the same thread (see above): Billy Clyde Puckett's preemptive buzz-kill, first in line in the Dead Soccer Fan post. That's not a contribution. Did it head off any number of predictably lame comments? Sure. But that's not how it works; be funny, do not be not funny. The last thing in the world Deadspin commenting needs is some Debbie Downer fuckface preempting bad jokes by predicting them at the start of a post. Thankfully, other commenters delivered a not-too-abusive hip-check, although a pretty goddamn funny smackdown was almost immediately redacted by Rare Endangered Vuvuzela.

All in all, it wasn't a bad day in Deadspin commenting. A couple of posts drew an abnormal number of really bad comments, but at least activity was up, and there were some good jokes to be found in almost every post.

DUA[Nibbled]