Tuesday Roundup

Favorites and duds from today's commenting.

Favorites, in no particular order:

Here's a very good one-liner from fatleaveher in the Judge Judy post. Well done.

I also enjoyed this line from BurnerWilliams in the Judge Judy post. BurnerWilliams is a good commenter, almost certainly an alter ego of an established commenter. Later, here's a simple, straightforward line in the Amputee Soccer Fight post. Nice job.

Here's a silly sequence from BronzeHammer in the Shane Battier post. Ultimately, it's a dig at Kenny Smith, but much of the humor comes from the absurdity of the entire premise. Good shit.

There are many hilarious entries in the Toronto Raptors post, and I encourage you to look through the entire comments section. Here's the link.

Here's a dynamite, dynamite one-liner from Poignant Theater in the Amputee Soccer Fight post. And in the same post, here's another kick-ass joke. Two winners in a single post - that's great hustle, a rare feat.

I chuckled at this Idiot joke from RMJ=H in the Amputee Soccer Fight post. So dumb. Later, I chuckled again at this Marvin Harrison joke in the Austin Collie post. Nice work.

Also in the Amputee Soccer Fight post, here's a funny, goofy one-liner from Bring Back Anthony Mason. Note how he slows down the pace of this joke before the punchline by doubling up on adjectives. Timing! In a written joke! Nice.

And here's another successful variation in the Amputee Soccer Fight post, from Raysism. So many different angles available. And later, here's a funny line in the Milton Bradley post. Ah, Raysism.

Here's a sharp one-liner from Steve U in the Bat Dodger post. An elegant set-up and a quick wordplay turn for the punchline. This is how it's done.

Also in the Bat Dodger post, here's quick one-liner from FreemanMcNeil. Joke mechanics are endlessly fascinating to me: this joke turns entirely on the use of the term "Dodger", but as an exercise, I like to boil the joke down entirely to it's punchline and see how effective it is with the absolute minimum delivery. He is a Dodger fan - that's the brand-new Deadspin commenter version, and it's not funny at all. He is a lifelong Dodger fan - this joke still has almost no juice. This version of the joke, this bare-bones unsuccessful version has six total words, and FreemanMcNeil's version has nine. They boil down to the exact same thing, but a nine-word version of a six-word joke that turns on a one-word pun is many times over more successful. Fascinating! With minimal, minimal embellishment (three words!), FreemanMcNeil gave this line character, a voice, and timing, and it went from a bone-dry pun to a successful one-liner. Awesome.

I'm not sure how I feel, in general, about commenters spoofing (or just outright utilizing) All Over But The Sharting's signature Olive Garden joke format, but I did chuckle at this particular version from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Dead Letters post. Conspicuously absent? Any reply from All Over But The Sharting himself. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN????

This is so fucking funny, from sweatingmullets in the Austin Collie post. Holy smokes. This is the joke from Tuesday that made me laugh the most. It's super simple, but the absolute minimalism of it is what makes it so great. Later, I enjoyed this offering in the Sidney Crosby post. Way to go.

Mantis Toboggan, M.D. cracked me up with this Lassie joke in the Austin Collie post. So ridiculous. I am powerless against this kind of thing.

Total Fucking Duds

Here's a boring-as-hell paint-by-numbers Ben Roethlisberger joke from Utah Jazz Hands in the Chandler Parsons post. I remain perplexed by the fact that Utah Jazz Hands is outside the Pendings. He's no good.

Meet MJsThrowbackBitch, easily one of the five or so very worst Deadspin commenters, seen here trolling the Bat Dodger post. For reasons that cannot possibly be defended, MJsThrowbackBitch is a featured commenter. I find it appalling that there's a Deadspin author who is following this guy. There was not a single regular featured commenter pre-Kinja who was anywhere near as obnoxious and irrelevant as this guy. Seriously, Deadspin. Kinja is what it is, but let's execute a little control, eh? For crying out loud. Put this chump in the Pendings where he belongs.

Too many Favorites, guys. 18 is just too many. We're going to have to raise the standards, and if this all sounds familiar it is surely because I have made this same declaration at least 800 times before. Still, I'm going to try. As always, drop any I left out in the comments below so they can get their due.

And have a great night.