Favorites and duds from today's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's a bizarre sequence from SavetoFavorites in the Daily Screencap post. There's a madcap beauty to this thing that is just irresistible.
This comment, from Bevraj of Choice in the Daily Screencap post, is so clever. It's not even right to call it a pull - it's just a smart, funny guy manufacturing a wonderful joke.
Here's Universal Enveloping Algebra apparently winning the internet with a kick-ass gag in the DeMarco Murray post. It's a pitch-perfect one-liner. Great job. This is Monday's Comment of the Day.
Speaking of dynamite one-liners, here's a humdinger from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Colin Kaepernick post. Of course. Later, I laughed aloud at this Anthony Davis joke in the NBA Sketch Cards post. That's really terrific.
What, is today the day of the one-liner? Check out this fucking brilliant shot from RMJ=H in the T-Shirt Cape post. That's so good. Later, RMJ=H fired off this outstanding joke in the 10 Sports GIFs post, earning a huge round of applause. Now there's an amazing pull.
How about another one-liner, this time from Madoffs Mets in the Peter King post. This one's a bit on the sinister side, and I loved it.
Total Fucking Duds
Here's an old-fashioned DOA movie reference from CoastDCoast in the T-Shirt Cape post. Yes, there is a movie where a rug is micturated upon (nailed it). Yes, that movie is funny. No, it is not funny that you have seen that movie. Ass.
Have the loveliest of all nights.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
The Week in Review, Now With Whatnot!
Awards first, then some bullshit.
Last Week's Swinging Dicks
In third place, winner of a hundred pounds of dried fallen leaves I spent 90 minutes moving across my lawn with a shiny new Ryobi 4-Cycle 155 mph 400 CFM gas-powered leaf-blower three weeks ago: The Amazing Sneijderman, with 4 Favorites in the past five days.
This a-here is my favorite The Amazing Sneijderman joke from last week. Good stuff.
In second place, winner of two hundred pounds of dried fallen leaves I spent 120 minutes moving across my lawn with a somewhat less shiny Ryobi 4-Cycle 155 mph 400 CFM gas-powered leaf-blower two weeks ago: Same Sad Echo, with 6 Favorites in the past five days.
And here's my favorite Same Sad Echo joke from last week. COTY!1!
And in first place, winner of 10,000 pounds of dried fallen leaves I spent my entire life moving across my lawn with a fucking pile of shit Ryobi 4-Cycle 155 mph 400 CFM gas-powered leaf-blower last week: Raysism, with 7 Favorites in the past five days. You will now drive immediately to my home and pick up your prize or so help me I will cram this leaf-blower up your ass.
This is my favorite Raysism joke from last week. DEADSPIN HALL OF FAME!!1ELEVEN
Congratulations, folks. Some people work their whole lives for a pile of dried leaves.
Bonus Jokes!
The Monday Comment of the Day, from Madoffs Mets.
The Tuesday Comment of the Day, from Steve U.
The Wednesday Comment of the Day, from Poignant Theater.
The Thursday Comment of the Day, from Same Sad Echo.
The Friday Comment of the Day, from Mantis Toboggan, M.D.
The Unwelcome Lesson of the Week
It's important to dismiss.
I'm going to be honest here: when I look at Deadspin comments, I generally only look at the top ten or so. Why? Because, with few exceptions, the best jokes are being made by a bunch of recognizable handles, and those handles always show up at the top of the page. When I do get down to the lower half or two-thirds, it's with soft eyes. There's very little of value down there.
It's true!
By whatever magic or manipulation, the good commenters are at the top, and there are three ways a burner or stranger can get in: they can make a kick-ass joke and hope to get noticed (as if); they can start an earnest, excruciatingly boring conversation with other bonehead burners and strangers and overwhelm the algorithm; they can reply to the good stuff.
With all of Kinja's stupidity, we actually have almost total control over those efforts. Okay, well, hold on, so there's really not much we can do about the boring discussions and arguments. Those were around before Kinja and they're still around and they aren't going anywhere ever. We have some control over the jokes, which is nice. We can go down there and lift their jokes from the muck if we're so inclined. It's a long way from perfect, but we can exert influence.
And that brings us to replies. By far the easiest way for new commenters and trolls and idiots and burners and ringers to get into the top half, to step into the light, to climb, Evil Marion Cotillard-like, from the abyss, is to reply to your jokes. When they do so by joining in a thread or giving a +1 or offering some sort of thoughtful, articulate contribution, hey! Great! Pull up a chair and hang out for a while! When strangers do what we do, they deserve to be in the light.
When they reply to your jokes with a -1 or I don't understand or too soon or dude your gay ROFL, fucking dismiss it. Why? Because you have control over the content. You're in charge of the door, and you decide who gets in.
We all hate Kinja. The lack of an approval system is maddening. None of us want to let Denton off the hook for screwing up our fun little playground. It's easy to think that leaving the trash out in plain view forces the powers that be to acknowledge their screw-up. The sad news, though, is that nobody up there thinks it's a screw up, and none of the burner idiot strangers do either. The only people who hate Kinja and miss the former system are the regulars, and we're the only people who are hurt by the bad behavior of the burner idiot strangers and are offended by the site of their execrable commentary.
You have control over the door. It's seems obvious enough that you wouldn't want to let a troll in. You feel bad for the little pig who built his house out of straw because the wolf blows the fucking thing down, not because the pig opened the door and let the goddamn carnivore waltz right in. Know what I mean?
Have a tip-top weekend, and seriously, come get these fucking leaves off my lawn.
Last Week's Swinging Dicks
In third place, winner of a hundred pounds of dried fallen leaves I spent 90 minutes moving across my lawn with a shiny new Ryobi 4-Cycle 155 mph 400 CFM gas-powered leaf-blower three weeks ago: The Amazing Sneijderman, with 4 Favorites in the past five days.
This a-here is my favorite The Amazing Sneijderman joke from last week. Good stuff.
In second place, winner of two hundred pounds of dried fallen leaves I spent 120 minutes moving across my lawn with a somewhat less shiny Ryobi 4-Cycle 155 mph 400 CFM gas-powered leaf-blower two weeks ago: Same Sad Echo, with 6 Favorites in the past five days.
And here's my favorite Same Sad Echo joke from last week. COTY!1!
And in first place, winner of 10,000 pounds of dried fallen leaves I spent my entire life moving across my lawn with a fucking pile of shit Ryobi 4-Cycle 155 mph 400 CFM gas-powered leaf-blower last week: Raysism, with 7 Favorites in the past five days. You will now drive immediately to my home and pick up your prize or so help me I will cram this leaf-blower up your ass.
This is my favorite Raysism joke from last week. DEADSPIN HALL OF FAME!!1ELEVEN
Congratulations, folks. Some people work their whole lives for a pile of dried leaves.
Bonus Jokes!
The Monday Comment of the Day, from Madoffs Mets.
The Tuesday Comment of the Day, from Steve U.
The Wednesday Comment of the Day, from Poignant Theater.
The Thursday Comment of the Day, from Same Sad Echo.
The Friday Comment of the Day, from Mantis Toboggan, M.D.
The Unwelcome Lesson of the Week
It's important to dismiss.
I'm going to be honest here: when I look at Deadspin comments, I generally only look at the top ten or so. Why? Because, with few exceptions, the best jokes are being made by a bunch of recognizable handles, and those handles always show up at the top of the page. When I do get down to the lower half or two-thirds, it's with soft eyes. There's very little of value down there.
It's true!
By whatever magic or manipulation, the good commenters are at the top, and there are three ways a burner or stranger can get in: they can make a kick-ass joke and hope to get noticed (as if); they can start an earnest, excruciatingly boring conversation with other bonehead burners and strangers and overwhelm the algorithm; they can reply to the good stuff.
With all of Kinja's stupidity, we actually have almost total control over those efforts. Okay, well, hold on, so there's really not much we can do about the boring discussions and arguments. Those were around before Kinja and they're still around and they aren't going anywhere ever. We have some control over the jokes, which is nice. We can go down there and lift their jokes from the muck if we're so inclined. It's a long way from perfect, but we can exert influence.
And that brings us to replies. By far the easiest way for new commenters and trolls and idiots and burners and ringers to get into the top half, to step into the light, to climb, Evil Marion Cotillard-like, from the abyss, is to reply to your jokes. When they do so by joining in a thread or giving a +1 or offering some sort of thoughtful, articulate contribution, hey! Great! Pull up a chair and hang out for a while! When strangers do what we do, they deserve to be in the light.
When they reply to your jokes with a -1 or I don't understand or too soon or dude your gay ROFL, fucking dismiss it. Why? Because you have control over the content. You're in charge of the door, and you decide who gets in.
We all hate Kinja. The lack of an approval system is maddening. None of us want to let Denton off the hook for screwing up our fun little playground. It's easy to think that leaving the trash out in plain view forces the powers that be to acknowledge their screw-up. The sad news, though, is that nobody up there thinks it's a screw up, and none of the burner idiot strangers do either. The only people who hate Kinja and miss the former system are the regulars, and we're the only people who are hurt by the bad behavior of the burner idiot strangers and are offended by the site of their execrable commentary.
You have control over the door. It's seems obvious enough that you wouldn't want to let a troll in. You feel bad for the little pig who built his house out of straw because the wolf blows the fucking thing down, not because the pig opened the door and let the goddamn carnivore waltz right in. Know what I mean?
Have a tip-top weekend, and seriously, come get these fucking leaves off my lawn.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Friday Roundup
Favorites and duds from today's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Check out this humdinger from Mantis Toboggan, M.D. in the BYU post. Now there's a goddamn winner. For your teeth-grinding pleasure, have a look at the unbelievably stupid burner reply among the +1s. Holy smokes. There are one or two funny replies to that reply, too, if you're feeling especially curious. Back to the joke: here's another +1 to Mantis Toboggan, M.D. for showing once again that some of our most heavily worn memes can still be used for kick-ass jokes. This here is the Comment of the Day.
I don't know how SavetoFavorites so consistently churns out these spectacularly funny scenes, but it's really incredible. This one, in the Jovan Belcher post, just slayed me. I'm running out of ways to heap praise on this stuff, so I'll just say this: please just don't ever stop.
Here's another great sequence, this time from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Jovan Belcher post. Like the sequence above, this joke uses the screenplay format, but it's interesting to me how different the two jokes are, and not just in terms of their angles. Whereas the joke above relies upon a lot of personality and silliness, this joke uses the format to patiently set up a good old fashioned punchline. Neither joke can be made without actions and sequencing and timing, but they use those tools for completely different purposes. These joke types, ultimately they're just templates, and they can be used to express whatever wild-ass crazy angles you want, and they can certainly be used to either satisfy or defy the reader's expectations. The Amazing Sneijderman's somewhat familar set-up/knockdown rhythm needed a little more space to play than is offered in your typical one-liner, and he had the instincts and confidence to give it the right structure.
I'm not sure where this line came from, from Billy Clyde Puckett in the Jovan Belcher post, but it's so, so good. It's not really a joke at all, it's just a very smart, very funny line. Good stuff.
This is just an outrageous set-up from Same Sad Echo in the Real Lakers post. If you drew this joke as a story arc, it would feature a fairly steep incline and then an immediate vertical drop, like a rollercoaster for people who love rollercoasters. And what do people who love rollercoasters do when there's an immediate vertical drop? They cheer and laugh their asses off. Okay, I'll shut up now.
Here's a smart, funny rimshot joke from UweBollocks in the Real Lakers post. I'm calling it a rimshot joke because it is exactly the kind of joke that is followed by a rimshot. Right? C'mon, right? You know what I mean.
Here's an excellent thread in the Underwear Ghosts post, featuring Eddie Murray Sparkles, Gamboa Constrictor, Same Sad Echo, SavetoFavorites, Bring Back Anthony Mason, Mantis Toboggan, M.D., Danelorgy, ScottMitchellReport, and many more. Worth a read!
I enjoyed this strong one-liner from Sgt. Hammerclaw in the Rutgers Basketball post. A very good pull with an effective delivery. Excellent joke.
And finally, because I'm a big dummy and/or Kinja hates me and/or Kinja hates everyone, I missed this killer joke from Raysism yesterday in the Ryan Brothers Retrospective post. That's a goddamn masterpiece. +1.
Total Fucking Duds
To hell with duds. For crying out loud.
Thanks for another great week, folks. Grab up and hug the stuffing out of all the wonderful small children in your lives, and have a great weekend.
Have a DUAN night.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Check out this humdinger from Mantis Toboggan, M.D. in the BYU post. Now there's a goddamn winner. For your teeth-grinding pleasure, have a look at the unbelievably stupid burner reply among the +1s. Holy smokes. There are one or two funny replies to that reply, too, if you're feeling especially curious. Back to the joke: here's another +1 to Mantis Toboggan, M.D. for showing once again that some of our most heavily worn memes can still be used for kick-ass jokes. This here is the Comment of the Day.
I don't know how SavetoFavorites so consistently churns out these spectacularly funny scenes, but it's really incredible. This one, in the Jovan Belcher post, just slayed me. I'm running out of ways to heap praise on this stuff, so I'll just say this: please just don't ever stop.
Here's another great sequence, this time from The Amazing Sneijderman in the Jovan Belcher post. Like the sequence above, this joke uses the screenplay format, but it's interesting to me how different the two jokes are, and not just in terms of their angles. Whereas the joke above relies upon a lot of personality and silliness, this joke uses the format to patiently set up a good old fashioned punchline. Neither joke can be made without actions and sequencing and timing, but they use those tools for completely different purposes. These joke types, ultimately they're just templates, and they can be used to express whatever wild-ass crazy angles you want, and they can certainly be used to either satisfy or defy the reader's expectations. The Amazing Sneijderman's somewhat familar set-up/knockdown rhythm needed a little more space to play than is offered in your typical one-liner, and he had the instincts and confidence to give it the right structure.
I'm not sure where this line came from, from Billy Clyde Puckett in the Jovan Belcher post, but it's so, so good. It's not really a joke at all, it's just a very smart, very funny line. Good stuff.
This is just an outrageous set-up from Same Sad Echo in the Real Lakers post. If you drew this joke as a story arc, it would feature a fairly steep incline and then an immediate vertical drop, like a rollercoaster for people who love rollercoasters. And what do people who love rollercoasters do when there's an immediate vertical drop? They cheer and laugh their asses off. Okay, I'll shut up now.
Here's a smart, funny rimshot joke from UweBollocks in the Real Lakers post. I'm calling it a rimshot joke because it is exactly the kind of joke that is followed by a rimshot. Right? C'mon, right? You know what I mean.
Here's an excellent thread in the Underwear Ghosts post, featuring Eddie Murray Sparkles, Gamboa Constrictor, Same Sad Echo, SavetoFavorites, Bring Back Anthony Mason, Mantis Toboggan, M.D., Danelorgy, ScottMitchellReport, and many more. Worth a read!
I enjoyed this strong one-liner from Sgt. Hammerclaw in the Rutgers Basketball post. A very good pull with an effective delivery. Excellent joke.
And finally, because I'm a big dummy and/or Kinja hates me and/or Kinja hates everyone, I missed this killer joke from Raysism yesterday in the Ryan Brothers Retrospective post. That's a goddamn masterpiece. +1.
Total Fucking Duds
To hell with duds. For crying out loud.
Thanks for another great week, folks. Grab up and hug the stuffing out of all the wonderful small children in your lives, and have a great weekend.
Have a DUAN night.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Thursday Roundup
Favorites and duds from today's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's a fantastic comment from Bevraj of Choice in the Kris Humphries post. The moment you read the words "Dear Kim" at the top of this comment, you have a sense of where it's going, and the fun, from there, is in the details. I can't wait until Bevraj of Choice moves back to the real part of the world so he can spend all day posting comments on a sports blog like a grownup.
This joke, from BronzeHammer in the Kris Humphries post, is wonderful. It's possible I like this stuff much more than most Deadspin commenters. This is the sort of one-of-a-kind humor that I look forward to reading on Deadspin. I like a good pull as much as the next guy, but the off-the-wall stuff, the totally unique angles that show up from time to time, it's those jokes that keep me coming back. Way back when, years and years ago when I first made a commenting account and well before I got up the courage to really use it much, I would just marvel at the bizarre and obscure and abstract and totally hilarious exchanges and threads that would develop between the funniest commenters. In the years since, I'm happy to say it seems like Deadspin's commenters have gotten stranger and less predictable and more creative. None of that is meant to suggest that BronzeHammer's joke is irrelevant to the post (not that there would be anything wrong with that). On the contrary. The disastrous marriage to Kim Kardashian will always be a large part of what we remember about Kris Humphries, and this joke makes good use of that fact. But it doesn't settle for a reference, nor does it simply preempt other Kim Kardashian jokes. It takes a new angle, giving the joke personality and action. I love it. Great comment.
I laughed aloud at this joke from Raysism in the Maurice Clarett post. The component pieces in this joke are mostly just an excuse for the "and begins tossing _________'s salad" line. I mean, it's funnier for being Lenny Dykstra and Jim Cramer, but this joke revolves around that surprise, the unexpected incorporation of some genuinely yucky imagery. And? It's great. I also chuckled at this Greg Oden dick joke in the Sam Bowie post. Everyone knew where this one was going, but it's well-executed, and that makes all the difference.
Here's RMJ=H's best joke of the day, in the Maurice Clarett post. It has originality, it has elegance, it has a terrific sense of humor, it is fresh and wonderful and I like it. What it doesn't have, however, is 86 +1s. Eighty-six. This joke, in the Bode Miller post, this Left Eye joke, this version of a joke we've seen probably two or three times on Deadspin, this is the one that got almost a hundred +1s. It's a fine joke. I chuckled at it. Specifically, I read it, chuckled, said "ouch" and moved on. I would bet every penny to my name that RMJ=H agrees that it's not remotely the best or funniest joke he's dropped this week, probably not even in his top five. I'm not saying it's unworthy of every +1 it got: every person who gave it a +1 liked it, and it is very much the kind of joke that appeals to a broad audience. It's a good comment. But it's not the Comment of the Day, by virtue of the fact that it is not the funniest joke from today. Also, here's a funny Idiot joke in the Pantomimed Double Blowjob post. RMJ=H had quite the day today.
Here's a funny thread in the Pantomimed Double Blowjob post, featuring Madoffs Mets, Danelorgy, SavetoFavorites, ScottMitchellReport, onlyASK, and others. Couple of really funny entries in there.
I don't know how a person could not laugh at this ridiculous sequence from SavetoFavorites in the Bode Miller post. It's just so silly and fun. Funny from start to finish.
Here's a hysterical recontextualization from Same Sad Echo in the Bode Miller post. It would be easy enough to make this comment with a line like "friends and family were impressed with Dick Clark's optimism to the very end", but it's just nowhere near as funny as exposing the reference in a personal sentiment prompted by the italicized line. I'm still marveling at the instincts of Deadspin's joke-makers. I'm making this joke today's Comment of the Day. Also, there goes the last of my credibility.
Here's a one-line zinger from Gamboa Constrictor in the Josh Brent post. Sharp, funny, succinct, successful. Good stuff.
Body by Bacardi showed up today with this very strong Mets dig in the Torii Hunter post. So smart. Stick around, will ya?
Total Fucking Duds
Yeah, I'm not doing duds tonight.
You guys are the best. Nighty-night.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's a fantastic comment from Bevraj of Choice in the Kris Humphries post. The moment you read the words "Dear Kim" at the top of this comment, you have a sense of where it's going, and the fun, from there, is in the details. I can't wait until Bevraj of Choice moves back to the real part of the world so he can spend all day posting comments on a sports blog like a grownup.
This joke, from BronzeHammer in the Kris Humphries post, is wonderful. It's possible I like this stuff much more than most Deadspin commenters. This is the sort of one-of-a-kind humor that I look forward to reading on Deadspin. I like a good pull as much as the next guy, but the off-the-wall stuff, the totally unique angles that show up from time to time, it's those jokes that keep me coming back. Way back when, years and years ago when I first made a commenting account and well before I got up the courage to really use it much, I would just marvel at the bizarre and obscure and abstract and totally hilarious exchanges and threads that would develop between the funniest commenters. In the years since, I'm happy to say it seems like Deadspin's commenters have gotten stranger and less predictable and more creative. None of that is meant to suggest that BronzeHammer's joke is irrelevant to the post (not that there would be anything wrong with that). On the contrary. The disastrous marriage to Kim Kardashian will always be a large part of what we remember about Kris Humphries, and this joke makes good use of that fact. But it doesn't settle for a reference, nor does it simply preempt other Kim Kardashian jokes. It takes a new angle, giving the joke personality and action. I love it. Great comment.
I laughed aloud at this joke from Raysism in the Maurice Clarett post. The component pieces in this joke are mostly just an excuse for the "and begins tossing _________'s salad" line. I mean, it's funnier for being Lenny Dykstra and Jim Cramer, but this joke revolves around that surprise, the unexpected incorporation of some genuinely yucky imagery. And? It's great. I also chuckled at this Greg Oden dick joke in the Sam Bowie post. Everyone knew where this one was going, but it's well-executed, and that makes all the difference.
Here's RMJ=H's best joke of the day, in the Maurice Clarett post. It has originality, it has elegance, it has a terrific sense of humor, it is fresh and wonderful and I like it. What it doesn't have, however, is 86 +1s. Eighty-six. This joke, in the Bode Miller post, this Left Eye joke, this version of a joke we've seen probably two or three times on Deadspin, this is the one that got almost a hundred +1s. It's a fine joke. I chuckled at it. Specifically, I read it, chuckled, said "ouch" and moved on. I would bet every penny to my name that RMJ=H agrees that it's not remotely the best or funniest joke he's dropped this week, probably not even in his top five. I'm not saying it's unworthy of every +1 it got: every person who gave it a +1 liked it, and it is very much the kind of joke that appeals to a broad audience. It's a good comment. But it's not the Comment of the Day, by virtue of the fact that it is not the funniest joke from today. Also, here's a funny Idiot joke in the Pantomimed Double Blowjob post. RMJ=H had quite the day today.
Here's a funny thread in the Pantomimed Double Blowjob post, featuring Madoffs Mets, Danelorgy, SavetoFavorites, ScottMitchellReport, onlyASK, and others. Couple of really funny entries in there.
I don't know how a person could not laugh at this ridiculous sequence from SavetoFavorites in the Bode Miller post. It's just so silly and fun. Funny from start to finish.
Here's a hysterical recontextualization from Same Sad Echo in the Bode Miller post. It would be easy enough to make this comment with a line like "friends and family were impressed with Dick Clark's optimism to the very end", but it's just nowhere near as funny as exposing the reference in a personal sentiment prompted by the italicized line. I'm still marveling at the instincts of Deadspin's joke-makers. I'm making this joke today's Comment of the Day. Also, there goes the last of my credibility.
Here's a one-line zinger from Gamboa Constrictor in the Josh Brent post. Sharp, funny, succinct, successful. Good stuff.
Body by Bacardi showed up today with this very strong Mets dig in the Torii Hunter post. So smart. Stick around, will ya?
Total Fucking Duds
Yeah, I'm not doing duds tonight.
You guys are the best. Nighty-night.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Wednesday Roundup
Favorites and duds from today's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's Same Sad Echo being a silly-goose, as is his wont, in the Doomed Wizards post. Contrary to certain suggestions, I love this stuff. On that note, please refrain from mentioning this blog away from DUAN. It's inside-baseball and gives MBA a presence on Deadspin that is counter to its intentions. Also, awesome comment. Later, Same Sad Echo contributed this winner in the 100 Concussions post. This is very nearly an "Idiot" joke. In fact, I think that's sort of how I read it and why I liked it. And even later, I enjoyed this straightforward dig at Villanova in the Flipping the Bird post. Good work.
This is a wonderful little sequence from Sponsored by V8 in the Doomed Wizards post. It's a very funny joke and it makes use of a dead-true observation about Emeka Okafor. Hilarious.
Poignant Theater dropped today's Comment of the Day in the 100 Concussions post. That's just a perfect joke. I laughed aloud when I first read it. And, of course, a burner dropped a COTY!1! in there. Gah. This is a losing battle. The COTY!1! nominations will likely never stop. Nevermind, there's an even worse reply among all the +1s. Just look at that shit. I do wish Deadspin commenters would dismiss. You sort of lose the credibility to bitch about the loss of the approval/promotion system if you don't use the tools you have to exert control over the comments. Dismiss, God damn it.
Here's an excellent one-liner from our guy Raysism in the 100 Concussions post. This joke will not do well with the Jezebel crowd. Yowza.
Here's something hysterical from Lionel Osbourne in the Tommy Tuberville post. Oof. It's funny enough even before the final line, but that line really does add something to the joke. Nice work.
Mantis Toboggan, M.D. dropped this humdinger in the 107-2 post. I love this comment. It's just bursting with talent and personality and good humor. I know dialogue and sequence jokes are sort of taking over the place, but the truth is you can't work this kind of creativity into a one-liner, not without some seriously tortured structure.
Finally, for whatever reason, I laughed and laughed at this goofy offering from Dave Algonquin (WWTD?) in the 107-2 post. Well, okay, for the very obvious reason that it's funny. Still, I can't exactly pin down why it's as funny as it is. I'm glad to see others enjoyed it as much as I did. Great joke.
Total Fucking Duds
Just what the fuck are you babbling on about, drfooser? This is one incredibly stupid comment, the kind of thing that makes the lack of an approval system so frustrating I start to hyperventilate. So completely stupid and flimsy and not even worth rebutting, even for other burners. You've got to work hard to be beneath the attention of other burners. Seriously.
Hey, that's it for today. Have a great one.
Goooooooooooo DUAN!
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's Same Sad Echo being a silly-goose, as is his wont, in the Doomed Wizards post. Contrary to certain suggestions, I love this stuff. On that note, please refrain from mentioning this blog away from DUAN. It's inside-baseball and gives MBA a presence on Deadspin that is counter to its intentions. Also, awesome comment. Later, Same Sad Echo contributed this winner in the 100 Concussions post. This is very nearly an "Idiot" joke. In fact, I think that's sort of how I read it and why I liked it. And even later, I enjoyed this straightforward dig at Villanova in the Flipping the Bird post. Good work.
This is a wonderful little sequence from Sponsored by V8 in the Doomed Wizards post. It's a very funny joke and it makes use of a dead-true observation about Emeka Okafor. Hilarious.
Poignant Theater dropped today's Comment of the Day in the 100 Concussions post. That's just a perfect joke. I laughed aloud when I first read it. And, of course, a burner dropped a COTY!1! in there. Gah. This is a losing battle. The COTY!1! nominations will likely never stop. Nevermind, there's an even worse reply among all the +1s. Just look at that shit. I do wish Deadspin commenters would dismiss. You sort of lose the credibility to bitch about the loss of the approval/promotion system if you don't use the tools you have to exert control over the comments. Dismiss, God damn it.
Here's an excellent one-liner from our guy Raysism in the 100 Concussions post. This joke will not do well with the Jezebel crowd. Yowza.
Here's something hysterical from Lionel Osbourne in the Tommy Tuberville post. Oof. It's funny enough even before the final line, but that line really does add something to the joke. Nice work.
Mantis Toboggan, M.D. dropped this humdinger in the 107-2 post. I love this comment. It's just bursting with talent and personality and good humor. I know dialogue and sequence jokes are sort of taking over the place, but the truth is you can't work this kind of creativity into a one-liner, not without some seriously tortured structure.
Finally, for whatever reason, I laughed and laughed at this goofy offering from Dave Algonquin (WWTD?) in the 107-2 post. Well, okay, for the very obvious reason that it's funny. Still, I can't exactly pin down why it's as funny as it is. I'm glad to see others enjoyed it as much as I did. Great joke.
Total Fucking Duds
Just what the fuck are you babbling on about, drfooser? This is one incredibly stupid comment, the kind of thing that makes the lack of an approval system so frustrating I start to hyperventilate. So completely stupid and flimsy and not even worth rebutting, even for other burners. You've got to work hard to be beneath the attention of other burners. Seriously.
Hey, that's it for today. Have a great one.
Goooooooooooo DUAN!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Tuesday Roundup
Favorites and duds from today's commenting.
Before we get to that stuff, a quick note:
I seem to have opened a wound with the line about being funny while also offering commentary on the subject of the post, and I regret it. I really do admire comments that are both funny and relevant to the subject, but overwhelmingly my favorite jokes have been the ridiculous non-sequiturs. I like what is funny, and prefer what is creative and original and funny to what is smart and relevant and sort of humorous. I think I was trying to speak on behalf of Deadspin, trying to make the point that a comment section is generally a space where people comment on the content of a post; that, in a perfect world, comments would be relevant to the content of a post and also be every bit as funny as the funniest jokes are now. That's a totally unrealistic standard, and in the real world I'd much rather see one devastating non-sequitur after another than a run of relevant comments with less punch and creativity.
Make jokes! Great jokes! Don't feel remotely bad about taking the content of a post out into the field and bringing it back totally repurposed. I will always have a special kind of respect for great jokes that also reflect upon the post, but I will also be doubled-over with laughter upon reading the next great Toy-Luke-Skywalker-fondling-Toy-Leia-with-C3PO's-head joke. There is more than enough room for both, plus every other kind of crazy-ass off-the-wall humor-experiment out there.
I think those in the comments yesterday who took up the argument on behalf of relevant commentary are simply suggesting that people look for angles that comment on the post in addition to looking for angles that provide the strongest punchline, and there's nothing wrong with that. I would suggest that commenters still favor the strongest punchline, but anyway, it would be an interesting exercise, first seeing if you have anything to say about the post and whether there's a unique, creative, funny way of saying it before taking the content afield. Either way, seriously, submit your best stuff as always and put a premium on making everyone laugh.
Now, on to the good stuff.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's a very funny characterization of The Sporting News's readership from Lionel Osbourne in the Sporting News post. I suppose I should mention that there was a time when I pretty religiously read The Sporting News. Yes, I'm ashamed.
Also in that post, here's a very funny, very awkward personal moment from Raysism. I have a special love for jokes that turn the author into the punchline. It takes something that could be mean-spirited if pointed outward and turns it into something vulnerable and excruciating and a lot funnier.
And here's a great wordplay gag from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Sporting News post. It would be easy enough to say that only Lionel Osbourne's joke actually comments on the subject of the post, but lets take a closer look: Lionel Osbourne's joke makes an observation about the audience of The Sporting News; Raysism's joke takes advantage of the popular perception that The Sporting News is an outdated publication; and Bring Back Anthony Mason's one-liner makes use of the particulars of another story about the same publication. In their own unique way, each joke is relevant to the post. Even when it seems like a joke is doing its own thing, most jokes actually do have something to say about the post. I'll try to remember this next time I start to type up a lazy, overly broad characterization of Deadspin's comments. Later, here's another sharp one-liner from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Paul Tagliabue post, this one packaged as a question. Good stuff.
I really enjoyed this kick-ass Dwight Gooden joke from The Amazing Sneijderman in the R.A. Dickey post. This is a joke that does wander afield, and look at the huge round of applause! Why? Because it's hilarious, that's why. Being hilarious is more important than being relevant. Also today, I enjoyed this shot at Mark Sanchez in the Braylon Edwards post.
And now, some fat jokes. Here's Steve U with an absolute killer of a fat joke in the Josh Brent post. Are fat jokes cruel? Yeah, probably. This is a hysterical one-liner. If I have to feel bad about laughing at it, so be it. It is hysterical. It is. And it's your Comment of the Day.
Here's another fat joke in the same post from Mantis Toboggan, M.D. That is just fucking deadly. What a good time this post was. This joke could not be funnier. Here's one more +1.
This is not a fat joke, but it is laugh-out-loud funny, from Theodore Donald Kerabatsos in the same post. Just terrific. The idea here is just so, so good.
I laughed at this sequence from Madoffs Mets in the same post. I really in particular enjoyed the abrupt ending here. Nice work.
I chuckled at this bird joke from Crosby's Neurologist in the Windows post. It took me a minute to catch on here, and it was worth it. Good job.
Here's a whale of a one-liner from a burner called AfterBurnerA in the Failed Tiki Chat post. It's just an excellent dig delivered beautifully. Stick around, guy!
And here's a great pun from Sgt. Hammerclaw in the Tear Gas post. It's funny and goofy and has a nice, easy delivery.
Total Fucking Duds
Here's a brain-dead too-sooner in the Josh Brent post from some asshole called RichieG.. This one comment wiped out my energy for duds. That's all I've got.
Hey, see you in DUAN. Keep on keepin' on.
Before we get to that stuff, a quick note:
I seem to have opened a wound with the line about being funny while also offering commentary on the subject of the post, and I regret it. I really do admire comments that are both funny and relevant to the subject, but overwhelmingly my favorite jokes have been the ridiculous non-sequiturs. I like what is funny, and prefer what is creative and original and funny to what is smart and relevant and sort of humorous. I think I was trying to speak on behalf of Deadspin, trying to make the point that a comment section is generally a space where people comment on the content of a post; that, in a perfect world, comments would be relevant to the content of a post and also be every bit as funny as the funniest jokes are now. That's a totally unrealistic standard, and in the real world I'd much rather see one devastating non-sequitur after another than a run of relevant comments with less punch and creativity.
Make jokes! Great jokes! Don't feel remotely bad about taking the content of a post out into the field and bringing it back totally repurposed. I will always have a special kind of respect for great jokes that also reflect upon the post, but I will also be doubled-over with laughter upon reading the next great Toy-Luke-Skywalker-fondling-Toy-Leia-with-C3PO's-head joke. There is more than enough room for both, plus every other kind of crazy-ass off-the-wall humor-experiment out there.
I think those in the comments yesterday who took up the argument on behalf of relevant commentary are simply suggesting that people look for angles that comment on the post in addition to looking for angles that provide the strongest punchline, and there's nothing wrong with that. I would suggest that commenters still favor the strongest punchline, but anyway, it would be an interesting exercise, first seeing if you have anything to say about the post and whether there's a unique, creative, funny way of saying it before taking the content afield. Either way, seriously, submit your best stuff as always and put a premium on making everyone laugh.
Now, on to the good stuff.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's a very funny characterization of The Sporting News's readership from Lionel Osbourne in the Sporting News post. I suppose I should mention that there was a time when I pretty religiously read The Sporting News. Yes, I'm ashamed.
Also in that post, here's a very funny, very awkward personal moment from Raysism. I have a special love for jokes that turn the author into the punchline. It takes something that could be mean-spirited if pointed outward and turns it into something vulnerable and excruciating and a lot funnier.
And here's a great wordplay gag from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Sporting News post. It would be easy enough to say that only Lionel Osbourne's joke actually comments on the subject of the post, but lets take a closer look: Lionel Osbourne's joke makes an observation about the audience of The Sporting News; Raysism's joke takes advantage of the popular perception that The Sporting News is an outdated publication; and Bring Back Anthony Mason's one-liner makes use of the particulars of another story about the same publication. In their own unique way, each joke is relevant to the post. Even when it seems like a joke is doing its own thing, most jokes actually do have something to say about the post. I'll try to remember this next time I start to type up a lazy, overly broad characterization of Deadspin's comments. Later, here's another sharp one-liner from Bring Back Anthony Mason in the Paul Tagliabue post, this one packaged as a question. Good stuff.
I really enjoyed this kick-ass Dwight Gooden joke from The Amazing Sneijderman in the R.A. Dickey post. This is a joke that does wander afield, and look at the huge round of applause! Why? Because it's hilarious, that's why. Being hilarious is more important than being relevant. Also today, I enjoyed this shot at Mark Sanchez in the Braylon Edwards post.
And now, some fat jokes. Here's Steve U with an absolute killer of a fat joke in the Josh Brent post. Are fat jokes cruel? Yeah, probably. This is a hysterical one-liner. If I have to feel bad about laughing at it, so be it. It is hysterical. It is. And it's your Comment of the Day.
Here's another fat joke in the same post from Mantis Toboggan, M.D. That is just fucking deadly. What a good time this post was. This joke could not be funnier. Here's one more +1.
This is not a fat joke, but it is laugh-out-loud funny, from Theodore Donald Kerabatsos in the same post. Just terrific. The idea here is just so, so good.
I laughed at this sequence from Madoffs Mets in the same post. I really in particular enjoyed the abrupt ending here. Nice work.
I chuckled at this bird joke from Crosby's Neurologist in the Windows post. It took me a minute to catch on here, and it was worth it. Good job.
Here's a whale of a one-liner from a burner called AfterBurnerA in the Failed Tiki Chat post. It's just an excellent dig delivered beautifully. Stick around, guy!
And here's a great pun from Sgt. Hammerclaw in the Tear Gas post. It's funny and goofy and has a nice, easy delivery.
Total Fucking Duds
Here's a brain-dead too-sooner in the Josh Brent post from some asshole called RichieG.. This one comment wiped out my energy for duds. That's all I've got.
Hey, see you in DUAN. Keep on keepin' on.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Monday Roundup
Favorites and duds from today's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's a tricky, somewhat obscure one-liner from fatleaveher in the Daily Screencap post. Perhaps I'm alone here, but I had to do some research on this one. More research, in fact, than I would normally accept in a Favorite. But it's a funny enough reference and it looks like many people got it without as much effort. I won't penalize the joke for me being a moron.
I enjoyed this funny Serge Ibaka joke in the Stephen Jackson post from The Amazing Sneijderman. It's just a clever little sequence written without a lot of painful set-up. Nice job.
StuartScottsEye earned a handful of +1s for this smart wordplay joke in the Air Guitar post. This is essentially a one-liner, with a quick premise and a knockdown punchline at the very end, all revolving around a sharp pun. Good stuff.
And here's a simple Tim Tebow dig from Madoffs Mets, also in the Air Guitar post. See how the one-liner format works? Premise and set-up, knockdown punchline, turns on a bit of wordplay. Everyone on Deadspin does this all the time, and the baseline for success is putting the joke in the correct order. If this joke goes Tim Tebow makes a good pretend backup if this guy's looking to start a band, it loses some of its punch. Because the format doesn't give a lot of room to play around, the rest of the success of the joke will be determined by the strength of the pull. One-liners are for confident joke-makers and the whole idea is that they're not as easy as they seem. Here's another one, even more efficient, with an even stronger pull, in the Clippers Bench post. We've often talked about the strength of the reference determining the length of the joke, and this is a good example. When your punchline is this strong, stay out of its way. Great joke. This is your Comment of the Day.
Here's an excellent thread in the Clippers Bench post, featuring onlyASK, Sgt. Hammerclaw, SavetoFavorites, Pink Slime, JamesDolansRemedialMath, fatleaveher, RexsPodiatryst, Post ApocalypticRecSpecs, The Amazing Sneijderman, and many more. Also, sweet molasses, look at that fucking reply from Nietzschiro. Holy fucking shit. "This is fun!" /facepalm
SavetoFavorites recast The Wire for this dialogue joke in the Cam Cameron post, earning a round of applause. I have no idea where this joke came from, but it's funny enough. Good stuff.
This is a great comment from All Over But The Sharting in the ESPN Disavowal post. On top of being funny and well-made, it's actual commentary. Whereas puns and recontextualizations and screenplays don't always necessarily have something to say about a post, this joke actually pokes fun at the absurdity of ESPN's Tim Tebow coverage. Stuff like this happens often enough on Deadspin, but there are definitely times when commenters are mostly just raking posts for content that can be used in a joke instead of offering actual commentary. The be funny mandate is best expressed when it is used in the service of actually commenting on the subject of the post.
Here's a terrific recontextualization from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Greg Hardy vs. Matt Bryant post. That's such an excellent goddamn pull. I needed a minute with it, but sometimes that's the best part.
This is the funniest thing you will read today, from Same Sad Echo in the Dadspin Christmas Shopping post. Holy shit. That is seriously fucking hysterical.
I really enjoyed this sharp, tight, outstanding one-liner from Raysism in the Manny Pacquiao post. So good.
And finally, here's a strong effort from a burner called chris.j.p in the Chicago Bar Stabbing post. You know what we say to funny burners: get a real account, will ya?
Total Fucking Duds
Here's something desperately stupid and boorish from a brain-dead teenager called SantiCazorla in the Stephen Jackson post. God I hate this crap. This would never have made it though the approval system pre-Kinja.
This boring, totally unoriginal one-liner from an idiot called ShaneMorris in the JaVale McGee post was actually referred to as "Brilliant" by some fucking burner moron. Unbelievable. What a lame, paper-thin joke. Boo.
This is an incredibly cheap movie reference from Billy Clyde Puckett in the Cam Cameron post. Just so, so flimsy. The entire punchline of this joke is "there was a guy in a movie named Cameron." It's pathetic. And look at that! Thank God there are burners to give a +1 to every bullshit kindergarten joke. Jesus.
And finally, here's a disastrously bad commenter named kittensarecute. This is a Gawker commenter who has strayed over to Deadspin from time to time. This person has no ability to say anything funny or original or thoughtful. At best, kittensarecute is trolling, but either way he's nasty and ignorant and offensive. Boy do I miss the ninjas. There has got to be a mechanism for getting rid of this kind of stuff.
Thanks for reading. Let's have a good old-fashioned DUAN, eh?
Favorites, in no particular order:
Here's a tricky, somewhat obscure one-liner from fatleaveher in the Daily Screencap post. Perhaps I'm alone here, but I had to do some research on this one. More research, in fact, than I would normally accept in a Favorite. But it's a funny enough reference and it looks like many people got it without as much effort. I won't penalize the joke for me being a moron.
I enjoyed this funny Serge Ibaka joke in the Stephen Jackson post from The Amazing Sneijderman. It's just a clever little sequence written without a lot of painful set-up. Nice job.
StuartScottsEye earned a handful of +1s for this smart wordplay joke in the Air Guitar post. This is essentially a one-liner, with a quick premise and a knockdown punchline at the very end, all revolving around a sharp pun. Good stuff.
And here's a simple Tim Tebow dig from Madoffs Mets, also in the Air Guitar post. See how the one-liner format works? Premise and set-up, knockdown punchline, turns on a bit of wordplay. Everyone on Deadspin does this all the time, and the baseline for success is putting the joke in the correct order. If this joke goes Tim Tebow makes a good pretend backup if this guy's looking to start a band, it loses some of its punch. Because the format doesn't give a lot of room to play around, the rest of the success of the joke will be determined by the strength of the pull. One-liners are for confident joke-makers and the whole idea is that they're not as easy as they seem. Here's another one, even more efficient, with an even stronger pull, in the Clippers Bench post. We've often talked about the strength of the reference determining the length of the joke, and this is a good example. When your punchline is this strong, stay out of its way. Great joke. This is your Comment of the Day.
Here's an excellent thread in the Clippers Bench post, featuring onlyASK, Sgt. Hammerclaw, SavetoFavorites, Pink Slime, JamesDolansRemedialMath, fatleaveher, RexsPodiatryst, Post ApocalypticRecSpecs, The Amazing Sneijderman, and many more. Also, sweet molasses, look at that fucking reply from Nietzschiro. Holy fucking shit. "This is fun!" /facepalm
SavetoFavorites recast The Wire for this dialogue joke in the Cam Cameron post, earning a round of applause. I have no idea where this joke came from, but it's funny enough. Good stuff.
This is a great comment from All Over But The Sharting in the ESPN Disavowal post. On top of being funny and well-made, it's actual commentary. Whereas puns and recontextualizations and screenplays don't always necessarily have something to say about a post, this joke actually pokes fun at the absurdity of ESPN's Tim Tebow coverage. Stuff like this happens often enough on Deadspin, but there are definitely times when commenters are mostly just raking posts for content that can be used in a joke instead of offering actual commentary. The be funny mandate is best expressed when it is used in the service of actually commenting on the subject of the post.
Here's a terrific recontextualization from Eddie Murray Sparkles in the Greg Hardy vs. Matt Bryant post. That's such an excellent goddamn pull. I needed a minute with it, but sometimes that's the best part.
This is the funniest thing you will read today, from Same Sad Echo in the Dadspin Christmas Shopping post. Holy shit. That is seriously fucking hysterical.
I really enjoyed this sharp, tight, outstanding one-liner from Raysism in the Manny Pacquiao post. So good.
And finally, here's a strong effort from a burner called chris.j.p in the Chicago Bar Stabbing post. You know what we say to funny burners: get a real account, will ya?
Total Fucking Duds
Here's something desperately stupid and boorish from a brain-dead teenager called SantiCazorla in the Stephen Jackson post. God I hate this crap. This would never have made it though the approval system pre-Kinja.
This boring, totally unoriginal one-liner from an idiot called ShaneMorris in the JaVale McGee post was actually referred to as "Brilliant" by some fucking burner moron. Unbelievable. What a lame, paper-thin joke. Boo.
This is an incredibly cheap movie reference from Billy Clyde Puckett in the Cam Cameron post. Just so, so flimsy. The entire punchline of this joke is "there was a guy in a movie named Cameron." It's pathetic. And look at that! Thank God there are burners to give a +1 to every bullshit kindergarten joke. Jesus.
And finally, here's a disastrously bad commenter named kittensarecute. This is a Gawker commenter who has strayed over to Deadspin from time to time. This person has no ability to say anything funny or original or thoughtful. At best, kittensarecute is trolling, but either way he's nasty and ignorant and offensive. Boy do I miss the ninjas. There has got to be a mechanism for getting rid of this kind of stuff.
Thanks for reading. Let's have a good old-fashioned DUAN, eh?
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