Some favorites and a hearty helping of duds from Monday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
I laughed at Delonte, Interrupted's awesome transcript in the Wake Up Deadspin post. That's terrific.
In the Pride of Ohio State post, David Hume's sharp one-liner earned a round of applause from the crowd. Nice job.
I really enjoyed Bevraj of Choice's simple joke in the Rugby Face post. That's a line that could have easily been overcooked, but he nailed it, and the crowd responded.
Hatey McLife had a couple of winners on Monday. I liked the clever wordplay of this joke in the Jousting post, and later, his first comment was one of the best in the Gay Basketball post. He doesn't miss much, even when he sees fit to gift himself a -1.
Also in the Jousting post, fat-leaveher contributed this clever, elegant little joke. Awesome job.
Steve_U's dig at Rick Pitino in the Reggie Bush post was good for a laugh, and earned a couple of +1s.
In the Lenny Dykstra post, I giggled at this silly dialogue joke from Same Sad Echo. I guess I'm a sucker for the dialogue jokes, but they have to be done right. A clumsy joke like this can be just brutally bad. Anyway, this was another good one from one of the masters of the form.
And finally, also from the Lenny Dykstra post, I enjoyed this clever bankruptcy joke from UweBollocks. That's just a terrific pull, delivered confidently.
Total Fucking Duds
Unstarred guy cobra.la.la.la.la.la.la is a good commenter, but this offering, in the Wake Up Deadspin post, is terribly over-cooked. That's the joke equivalent of putting makeup on a pig. Ultimately, it's the same angle a thousand other bad comments have taken on the topic of Shawn Kemp, and the awkward, overdone set-up just highlights the flimsiness of the underlying joke. It's a shame, because that's a lot of effort. Don't take an exaggerated whack at the same old joke. Instead, take a fresh angle on the familiar topic. It can be done.
Also in the Wake Up Deadspin post, unstarred commenter Penny Hardaway's Rookie Card left this dazzlingly lazy Ricky Martin joke. Ooof. I'm not even totally sure what it means. But the word "gay" is the flimsiest of excuses for an otherwise completely unrelated reference. The fact that Ricky Martin is gay is not funny. It's just not.
This one's simple enough: in the Jorge Posada thread, unstarred commenter NYSportsJerk thought it worthwhile to argue advanced metrics in lieu of making jokes. We make jokes around here. Be funny.
Similarly, this offering from unstarred commenter nova3930 in the Pride of Ohio State post made no attempt at humor. [flips chalkboard] A-B-F. A-Always, B-Be, F-Funny. Always be funny. ALWAYS be funny.
Unstarred commenter Daniel Peck chucked this pile of crap up in the Luchador post. That's just lazy. Try harder.
Unstarred commenter BROnaldinho was the latest to sup from the trough of desperation that is the "not impressed" joke, this time in the Luchador post. He's been around for a while, he certainly should know better.
Also in the Luchador post, unstarred trainwreck Buford Justice had a thing or two to say about the prowess of the tiny Japanese wrestler, but forgot to make any attempt at humor. Surely there's a super-awesome wrestling blog somewhere that feels the lack of this kind of sharp criticism.
The O AN HE [fucking ANYTHING] meme is ready for retirement. Seriously. Let's put that fucker to bed. Unstarred guy Radon Zeppelin dusted it off for his offering in the Gay Basketball post, and I realized: this thing's dead. Totally fucking dead. Devoid of even the tiniest amount of juice.
Also in the Gay Basketball post, unstarred commenter HugsFromHarold used ye olde The Simpsons clip as the entirety of his comment. Please, please, make jokes. Be funny. This is passing along funny, not being funny.
Unstarred commenter VanExelfor3 annoyed me with this comment, in the Gay Basketball post, which asks for a joke but does not make a joke. Take the extra minute or two and make the joke. It's especially annoying that his was the very first comment in the entire post, meaning he really didn't take any time to finesse or fine tune his effort. It's not a race, silly.
Unstarred commenter larispitler was just another guy who failed to make an attempt at humor with this nonsense in the Reggie Bush post. MAKE JOKES. Make jokes! Be funny! It's the rule of Deadspin commenting!
Ah jeez. Here's another one. To unstarred commenter 10MileStereo, for his effort in the Taj Gibson Poster post, I have this to say: it was not even remotely appropriate. Make jokes, goddammit!
And that's it. Thanks for reading. Have a great DUAN.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Meanwhile, Even Further Outside Of The Basement...
Slate.
Just wanted to point out that out there in the world of mainstream media, all it takes is ten minutes of nose-picking, fifteen minutes of Wikipedia-browsing, some incredibly poor logic, and some buddies at Slate, and you can get paid to do about 85% less thinking about this subject than we do here for free.
Just wanted to point out that out there in the world of mainstream media, all it takes is ten minutes of nose-picking, fifteen minutes of Wikipedia-browsing, some incredibly poor logic, and some buddies at Slate, and you can get paid to do about 85% less thinking about this subject than we do here for free.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Nanny-Nanny Boo-Boo
Or, The Problem With Me Having The Blog and You Not Having The Blog
In Friday's Roundup, I included in the duds this comment, from unstarred commenter JohnCandysAppendages. In the comments section of the Roundup, an ugly conversation ensued wherein JohnCandysAppendages defended his comment and asserted that this blog is somehow a lazy rehashing of the activities of the Comment Ninja Squadron. I have deleted all those comments from my blog. I can do that.
Perhaps it was the off-hand way I dismissed this comment that drew the response. At any rate, rather than continue the snarky internet back-and-forth, I'm going to use this opportunity to address a couple of things.
When I include a comment in a daily Roundup, it's because I thought the comment was either good or bad. It's entirely subjective. At one point in the past, I bothered to include in the Duds section any comment addressed in any way by the Comment Ninja Squadron, but anyone who's been keeping up with this stuff will know I have given up on that task, in no small part because, by by-and-large leaving ninja victims where they lie, I can lessen the burden of chronicling the day's helping of bad comments. The daily Roundups take an unreasonable amount of time to assemble as is. I am, after all, a gainfully employed adult, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding. So when the comment_ninja or FAILBOT slap someone, I tend to assume that particular dud needs no further attention.
On Friday, Emma posted her Serena Williams piece and Drew posted his Drunken Hookup Failure piece. If you follow commenting (and since you're here, I'm going to assume you do), you know both those posts were absolutely begging for bad comments. I essentially flipped a coin and took Emma's post, because there was no way I was going to do both. Besides, there's a Drunken Hookup Failure post every week or so (right?), whereas a genuinely provocative post from Emma is more of an event.
With that view in mind, I took in more duds from this "event" post than I might have otherwise. So, even though the ninja mopped up the contribution from JohnCandysAppendages, I included it. I included it because I thought it was bad. In general, I hate photo-jokes, and this was just another lousy photo-joke.
In his vigorous self-defense, JohnCandysAppendages pointed out that I didn't understand the punchline. Furthermore, he asserted that he was suspended because apparently he'd posted the comment multiple times in an effort to achieve functionality, and that I've fundamentally misunderstood the nature of the conflict between his comment and Deadspin's commenting system.
With the benefit of his explanation, I can summarize the joke as boiling down to this: Richard Jefferson is gay. I'll go ahead and wait a minute while you double-over in hysterics.
Now, I'd like to suggest the following points, and if anyone disagrees with me, I invite your reasoned arguments in my comments section:
First of all, taking a few whacks at one joke on the same day is probably not a great idea. If nothing else, your punchline will be sucked dry of all humor by the time you finally get the one you want out there. That said, if I'm going through the day's comments and see an outrageously funny comment, it will not matter to me that the author may have failed at making the same joke down the thread. It may matter to the comment_ninja, but I doubt it. The rule is be funny. A great joke is a great joke. That's not me endorsing taking a second or third swing at your goofy one-liner in the Wake Up Deadspin post. Get the joke right before you post it. Posting it a second or third time will significantly decrease the likelihood of there being any juice left in the punchline. But if you do pull it off, everyone will forgive you. We all like to laugh.
Photo-jokes are different, because functionality is part of the trial-and-error efforts of those folks so inclined to make them. But photo-jokes, in general, are less likely to be original and creative and genuinely funny anyway, and frankly, a photo-joke that boils down to "Richard Jefferson is gay" is fucking doomed. JohnCandysAppendages made my duds list not because the comment_ninja didn't like his joke, but because he failed to deliver a compelling punchline, plain and simple. However, JohnCandysAppendages did get suspended because the comment_ninja didn't like his joke, and because he was so committed to such a bad joke in the first place. The comment_ninja did not say "you're being suspended because your very funny joke was submitted one too many times." What he said, in fact, was this: "I promise you it wasn't funny the first 6 times."
So there. Let that be a lesson to everyone. This seems to happen often: someone gets de-starred or banned or suspended and comes away with a fundamental misunderstanding of why it happened. It's never as simple as "I shouldn't have snarked that one dude" or "I shouldn't have used the slashies" or "I tried that joke more than once". No. Be funny.
Second of all, when I refer to a comment as being "lazy", I'm generally not saying you failed to carpet-bomb it enough times in enough posts, or even failed to spend a few minutes working on it. I mean, sometimes that's what I mean, but more often than not, I'm referring to the ambition of your comment. It's a total impression of the joke as a whole. Usually, it's the intersection of what your joke boils down to and how you delivered it. If your joke boils down to "Richard Jefferson is gay" and your delivery system is an unadorned photo, you're probably going to make the duds. I can't say that for sure, but it seems likely.
In all cases where I use the word "lazy" to describe a comment, the phrase that pops into my head (and usually winds up in the Roundup) is "try harder." I see a comment and it just jumps into my mind - something could be done with this idea if only [some guy] had tried harder. That's an oversimplified bit of advice, but doesn't this joke give you that same idea? Hell, I'm willing to consent that someone could use a visual joke to make us all laugh very hard about rumors that Richard Jefferson is gay. This comment, in the Serena Williams post, just didn't do it.
Again, it's subjective. Many will probably disagree with my assessment. But it's my blog, I get to pick on your comments whether you like it or not. The last thing in the world I want, though, is for Mad Bastards All to be the big comment bully, where commenters have to worry a lot about being shamed in front of fellow commenters. There's absolutely no way in hell I would ever write an entire post about a single comment if not for this kind of argument. I often use strong language to criticize a comment or commenter, but in general, I hope the Roundups are both instructive as criticism and useful as an accountability/feedback system. I'm not interested in humiliating anyone, which is what makes this particular conversation so annoying. Ah well.
It just so happens, we have a pair of pieces coming down the pike that deal with issues directly applicable to this very type of comment. Hopefully, they'll be a hell of a lot more interesting and instructive than this mess.
Hey, have a great weekend (even you, JCA).
In Friday's Roundup, I included in the duds this comment, from unstarred commenter JohnCandysAppendages. In the comments section of the Roundup, an ugly conversation ensued wherein JohnCandysAppendages defended his comment and asserted that this blog is somehow a lazy rehashing of the activities of the Comment Ninja Squadron. I have deleted all those comments from my blog. I can do that.
Perhaps it was the off-hand way I dismissed this comment that drew the response. At any rate, rather than continue the snarky internet back-and-forth, I'm going to use this opportunity to address a couple of things.
When I include a comment in a daily Roundup, it's because I thought the comment was either good or bad. It's entirely subjective. At one point in the past, I bothered to include in the Duds section any comment addressed in any way by the Comment Ninja Squadron, but anyone who's been keeping up with this stuff will know I have given up on that task, in no small part because, by by-and-large leaving ninja victims where they lie, I can lessen the burden of chronicling the day's helping of bad comments. The daily Roundups take an unreasonable amount of time to assemble as is. I am, after all, a gainfully employed adult, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding. So when the comment_ninja or FAILBOT slap someone, I tend to assume that particular dud needs no further attention.
On Friday, Emma posted her Serena Williams piece and Drew posted his Drunken Hookup Failure piece. If you follow commenting (and since you're here, I'm going to assume you do), you know both those posts were absolutely begging for bad comments. I essentially flipped a coin and took Emma's post, because there was no way I was going to do both. Besides, there's a Drunken Hookup Failure post every week or so (right?), whereas a genuinely provocative post from Emma is more of an event.
With that view in mind, I took in more duds from this "event" post than I might have otherwise. So, even though the ninja mopped up the contribution from JohnCandysAppendages, I included it. I included it because I thought it was bad. In general, I hate photo-jokes, and this was just another lousy photo-joke.
In his vigorous self-defense, JohnCandysAppendages pointed out that I didn't understand the punchline. Furthermore, he asserted that he was suspended because apparently he'd posted the comment multiple times in an effort to achieve functionality, and that I've fundamentally misunderstood the nature of the conflict between his comment and Deadspin's commenting system.
With the benefit of his explanation, I can summarize the joke as boiling down to this: Richard Jefferson is gay. I'll go ahead and wait a minute while you double-over in hysterics.
Now, I'd like to suggest the following points, and if anyone disagrees with me, I invite your reasoned arguments in my comments section:
First of all, taking a few whacks at one joke on the same day is probably not a great idea. If nothing else, your punchline will be sucked dry of all humor by the time you finally get the one you want out there. That said, if I'm going through the day's comments and see an outrageously funny comment, it will not matter to me that the author may have failed at making the same joke down the thread. It may matter to the comment_ninja, but I doubt it. The rule is be funny. A great joke is a great joke. That's not me endorsing taking a second or third swing at your goofy one-liner in the Wake Up Deadspin post. Get the joke right before you post it. Posting it a second or third time will significantly decrease the likelihood of there being any juice left in the punchline. But if you do pull it off, everyone will forgive you. We all like to laugh.
Photo-jokes are different, because functionality is part of the trial-and-error efforts of those folks so inclined to make them. But photo-jokes, in general, are less likely to be original and creative and genuinely funny anyway, and frankly, a photo-joke that boils down to "Richard Jefferson is gay" is fucking doomed. JohnCandysAppendages made my duds list not because the comment_ninja didn't like his joke, but because he failed to deliver a compelling punchline, plain and simple. However, JohnCandysAppendages did get suspended because the comment_ninja didn't like his joke, and because he was so committed to such a bad joke in the first place. The comment_ninja did not say "you're being suspended because your very funny joke was submitted one too many times." What he said, in fact, was this: "I promise you it wasn't funny the first 6 times."
So there. Let that be a lesson to everyone. This seems to happen often: someone gets de-starred or banned or suspended and comes away with a fundamental misunderstanding of why it happened. It's never as simple as "I shouldn't have snarked that one dude" or "I shouldn't have used the slashies" or "I tried that joke more than once". No. Be funny.
Second of all, when I refer to a comment as being "lazy", I'm generally not saying you failed to carpet-bomb it enough times in enough posts, or even failed to spend a few minutes working on it. I mean, sometimes that's what I mean, but more often than not, I'm referring to the ambition of your comment. It's a total impression of the joke as a whole. Usually, it's the intersection of what your joke boils down to and how you delivered it. If your joke boils down to "Richard Jefferson is gay" and your delivery system is an unadorned photo, you're probably going to make the duds. I can't say that for sure, but it seems likely.
In all cases where I use the word "lazy" to describe a comment, the phrase that pops into my head (and usually winds up in the Roundup) is "try harder." I see a comment and it just jumps into my mind - something could be done with this idea if only [some guy] had tried harder. That's an oversimplified bit of advice, but doesn't this joke give you that same idea? Hell, I'm willing to consent that someone could use a visual joke to make us all laugh very hard about rumors that Richard Jefferson is gay. This comment, in the Serena Williams post, just didn't do it.
Again, it's subjective. Many will probably disagree with my assessment. But it's my blog, I get to pick on your comments whether you like it or not. The last thing in the world I want, though, is for Mad Bastards All to be the big comment bully, where commenters have to worry a lot about being shamed in front of fellow commenters. There's absolutely no way in hell I would ever write an entire post about a single comment if not for this kind of argument. I often use strong language to criticize a comment or commenter, but in general, I hope the Roundups are both instructive as criticism and useful as an accountability/feedback system. I'm not interested in humiliating anyone, which is what makes this particular conversation so annoying. Ah well.
It just so happens, we have a pair of pieces coming down the pike that deal with issues directly applicable to this very type of comment. Hopefully, they'll be a hell of a lot more interesting and instructive than this mess.
Hey, have a great weekend (even you, JCA).
Friday, May 13, 2011
Friday Roundup
Some favorites and a few duds from Friday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
I chuckled at Vodkanaut's silly comment in the Jail-Bird post. I say this often, but there are certain commenters on Deadspin who can crank out these long-form, punchline-less jokes, and Vodkanaut is a shining example. Beyond all our chatter about format and timing and structure, there's just plain old funny, exemplified by this kind of comment. Sometime soon, we'll dive into the nature of this kind of joke and deconstruct the funny right out of it. In the meantime, enjoy!
I braved the Drunken Hookup Failure post's comments for as long as I could, and came away laughing at this angry, sarcastic comment from Delonte, Interrupted. That's hysterical.
Okay, one more from the Drunken Hookup Failure post; this funny call-out from Fendi Hotdogbun. Punchline right at the end, where it belongs. Nice work.
Also in the Jail-Bird post, our guy fat-leaveher contributed this funny bit of dialogue, earning praise from the crowd. That's a simple enough joke, quite a bit like the Henny Youngman joke from our AzureTexan profile, and like the Henny Youngman joke, the delivery is dry, sharp, and effective. Nice job.
I found myself giggling at a few silly comments in the Brock Lesnar post. This recontextualization joke, from Same Sad Echo, did the trick. The specific language and the preposterous premise worked for me.
The other one from that post, this joke, from MattinglysSideburns, is pretty similar and works for almost the exact same reason. Somehow, the comment's tone - implied by the specific language used - makes it funny. The abruptness of this comment and the swaggering conviction of Same Sad Echo's comment - at some point, we're going to have a conversation about the use of inappropriate tone as a comedic device.
Also in the Brock Lesnar post, this outstanding one-liner from dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac earned a +1. Nice work.
I'd like to second fat-leaveher on this comment, from DirkToberFest, in the Serena Williams post. It may not be a sophisticated joke, but it cracked me up. That's great work.
I really enjoyed this Jason Whitlock joke from Steve_U, also in the Serena Williams post. There were a lot of miserably bad comments in this post, but Steve_U delivered, and the crowd enjoyed it.
And finally, this is obviously a very silly comment by UweBollocks in the Alex Ferguson post, but I laughed at it. What the hell.
Total Fucking Duds
A fucking Drunken Hookup Failure and a post from Emma about a sexy picture of Serena Williams on the same day? Fuck THAT.
In the Wake Up Deadspin post, unstarred commenter dondi203 totally misunderstood what he read and totally failed to actually read the linked content, resulting in this awful joke. Ooof. Pro-tip: make sure you understand the subject of your joke, or this kind of embarrassing mistake will happen.
Unstarred commenter smecktacular left this totally awesome MMA analysis in the Brock Lesnar post. It seems you know your MMA, buddy. Next time, just save it for DUAN. At all other times, be creative and make original jokes.
The Serena Williams post was, predictably, a disaster. I suffered through it. I persevered. And why? Because I more or less gave up on the duds from the Drunken Hookup Failure post. Fuck it. It's my blog.
The first dud comes from unstarred commenter 1jaxstate1. I'd love to know who approved this guy, and I'd love to kick that person in the groin. 1jaxstate1 is a terrible commenter with absolutely no business being on Deadspin. I'd also like to caution Delonte, Interrupted against promoting this kind of thing, especially if you're not going to make a kick-ass joke in your reply. That's dangerous turf.
Unstarred commenter BarbarobicsInstructor earned a mention with this extremely dicey comment. Do I hate it? Well . . . yeah. I hate it. There's probably a way to polish that concept into something tasteful and funny, but it's probably better to stay away.
Also this thing, from unstarred commenter slanket. I'm not even sure what that means. At the heart of my complaint with both of these comments, I suppose, is the fact that they utterly lack any amount of vision or ambition. Instead of shooting for the stars, they're shooting for the gravel. The content, as with everything else, is workable; all topics are available, as long as it's genuinely funny.
Unstarred commenter JohnCandysAppendages was suspended for a week for this doofus photo-joke. Nothing more needs to be said about that. It's just lazy crap.
I suppose there's a way to see this comment, from Jobu81, as madcap and brilliant. The opposing view would be that it's lazy and wasteful. And I am the leader of that opposition.
One more from the Serena Williams post: this turd, from unstarred commenter Moses Hightower, which more-or-less defines failure in commenting, and which earned him a suspension. Seriously, what in blazes were you thinking?
And finally, unstarred commenter Zombie Cucumber bored everyone to death with this soccer analysis in the Alex Ferguson post. Wait for DUAN, hombre. Wait for DUAN.
So that's it. We may have something else way later tonight, possibly tomorrow. At any rate, before Monday. Until then, hey, thanks for sticking around through Blogger's shameful meltdown, and have a great weekend.
Gooooooo DUAN!
Favorites, in no particular order:
I chuckled at Vodkanaut's silly comment in the Jail-Bird post. I say this often, but there are certain commenters on Deadspin who can crank out these long-form, punchline-less jokes, and Vodkanaut is a shining example. Beyond all our chatter about format and timing and structure, there's just plain old funny, exemplified by this kind of comment. Sometime soon, we'll dive into the nature of this kind of joke and deconstruct the funny right out of it. In the meantime, enjoy!
I braved the Drunken Hookup Failure post's comments for as long as I could, and came away laughing at this angry, sarcastic comment from Delonte, Interrupted. That's hysterical.
Okay, one more from the Drunken Hookup Failure post; this funny call-out from Fendi Hotdogbun. Punchline right at the end, where it belongs. Nice work.
Also in the Jail-Bird post, our guy fat-leaveher contributed this funny bit of dialogue, earning praise from the crowd. That's a simple enough joke, quite a bit like the Henny Youngman joke from our AzureTexan profile, and like the Henny Youngman joke, the delivery is dry, sharp, and effective. Nice job.
I found myself giggling at a few silly comments in the Brock Lesnar post. This recontextualization joke, from Same Sad Echo, did the trick. The specific language and the preposterous premise worked for me.
The other one from that post, this joke, from MattinglysSideburns, is pretty similar and works for almost the exact same reason. Somehow, the comment's tone - implied by the specific language used - makes it funny. The abruptness of this comment and the swaggering conviction of Same Sad Echo's comment - at some point, we're going to have a conversation about the use of inappropriate tone as a comedic device.
Also in the Brock Lesnar post, this outstanding one-liner from dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac earned a +1. Nice work.
I'd like to second fat-leaveher on this comment, from DirkToberFest, in the Serena Williams post. It may not be a sophisticated joke, but it cracked me up. That's great work.
I really enjoyed this Jason Whitlock joke from Steve_U, also in the Serena Williams post. There were a lot of miserably bad comments in this post, but Steve_U delivered, and the crowd enjoyed it.
And finally, this is obviously a very silly comment by UweBollocks in the Alex Ferguson post, but I laughed at it. What the hell.
Total Fucking Duds
A fucking Drunken Hookup Failure and a post from Emma about a sexy picture of Serena Williams on the same day? Fuck THAT.
In the Wake Up Deadspin post, unstarred commenter dondi203 totally misunderstood what he read and totally failed to actually read the linked content, resulting in this awful joke. Ooof. Pro-tip: make sure you understand the subject of your joke, or this kind of embarrassing mistake will happen.
Unstarred commenter smecktacular left this totally awesome MMA analysis in the Brock Lesnar post. It seems you know your MMA, buddy. Next time, just save it for DUAN. At all other times, be creative and make original jokes.
The Serena Williams post was, predictably, a disaster. I suffered through it. I persevered. And why? Because I more or less gave up on the duds from the Drunken Hookup Failure post. Fuck it. It's my blog.
The first dud comes from unstarred commenter 1jaxstate1. I'd love to know who approved this guy, and I'd love to kick that person in the groin. 1jaxstate1 is a terrible commenter with absolutely no business being on Deadspin. I'd also like to caution Delonte, Interrupted against promoting this kind of thing, especially if you're not going to make a kick-ass joke in your reply. That's dangerous turf.
Unstarred commenter BarbarobicsInstructor earned a mention with this extremely dicey comment. Do I hate it? Well . . . yeah. I hate it. There's probably a way to polish that concept into something tasteful and funny, but it's probably better to stay away.
Also this thing, from unstarred commenter slanket. I'm not even sure what that means. At the heart of my complaint with both of these comments, I suppose, is the fact that they utterly lack any amount of vision or ambition. Instead of shooting for the stars, they're shooting for the gravel. The content, as with everything else, is workable; all topics are available, as long as it's genuinely funny.
Unstarred commenter JohnCandysAppendages was suspended for a week for this doofus photo-joke. Nothing more needs to be said about that. It's just lazy crap.
I suppose there's a way to see this comment, from Jobu81, as madcap and brilliant. The opposing view would be that it's lazy and wasteful. And I am the leader of that opposition.
One more from the Serena Williams post: this turd, from unstarred commenter Moses Hightower, which more-or-less defines failure in commenting, and which earned him a suspension. Seriously, what in blazes were you thinking?
And finally, unstarred commenter Zombie Cucumber bored everyone to death with this soccer analysis in the Alex Ferguson post. Wait for DUAN, hombre. Wait for DUAN.
So that's it. We may have something else way later tonight, possibly tomorrow. At any rate, before Monday. Until then, hey, thanks for sticking around through Blogger's shameful meltdown, and have a great weekend.
Gooooooo DUAN!
Thursday's Overdue Roundup
(For our recent AzureTexan Profile in Commenting, click here.)
Some favorites and a few duds from Thursday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
I laughed long and hard at this ridiculous little sequence from All Over But The Sharting in the Bartolo Colon post. I suppose at least part of my enjoyment was the where-the-hell-did-that-come-from-ness of the comment. Still, if the rule is "be funny", this comment is a smashing success.
In the Constitutional Bird post, I enjoyed this thread, featuring Tulos_Mullet, All Over But The Sharting, dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac, and unstarred commenter KareemCheese. Nice work.
Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan left perhaps my favorite comment from Thursday in the Constitutional Bird post. I laughed aloud at this one, as well.
It looks like a few people took a swing at this idea, but Hatey McLife's mercury joke, in the Hoops Training post, was obviously the best. Nice work.
Beyond his contribution to the aforementioned thread, dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac had a heck of a day. His meth joke in the NBA Playoffs post cracked me up, and this comment, in the Ba' Game post, was one of the day's very best. Great job today.
I was surprised this comment, in the Arthur Abraham post from Same Sad Echo, didn't draw any love today. I thought it was hysterical. He's one of the best at these silly dialogue comments.
I really enjoyed this back-and-forth between IronMikeGallego and All Over But The Sharting in the Disney post. When I finally get around to putting something together on the tricky art of replying to a joke, I will find a way to include IronMikeGallego. He's absolutely one of the very best at this.
Unstarred commenter Rare Endangered Vuvuzela had an excellent day today, first contributing this hilarious conversation joke in the Disney post, and later dropping an outstanding caption in the Ba' Game post. Both comments were promoted.
And finally, OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas's pointed observation in the MLS Rivalry post was good for a giggle. Well done.
Total Fucking Duds
I took it a little easy again today. It helped that I skipped making any effort whatsoever to grab good or bad comments from Drew's NFL Lockout post. I thought I noticed a couple decent ones in there while reading, but as usual, the majority of gray comments were flat-out terrible, and there were innumerable conversation threads. To hell with sorting through all that shit.
Our first dud is right at the top of the Wake Up Deadspin post, from unstarred commenter BootHillBossanova. I suppose that's a reference to the LeBron/Delonte West dynamic. Whatever. It's not funny at all. So there.
Unstarred commenter BufordJustice was knocked around by the comment_ninja for the always stupid "what's the over/under" joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post. I'm trying to stay away from chronicling the behavior of the Comment Ninja Squadron (mostly because it allows me to cut down on the duds), but BufordJustice's comment makes me crazy. I realize I'm echoing the comment_ninja, but in what way is that a joke? And in what way does it make any sense? This is obviously difficult to fully understand for newer commenters, but your comments really need to be jokes, and you really can't get away with just tossing up lazy, half-formed ideas. Make your own Corleone joke, buddy.
In the NBA Playoffs post, bigredgambler used a YouTube rent-a-joke. Lazy. Make jokes.
Also in the NBA Playoffs post, blogsarefun had a totally inane internal monologue turned gray by the comment_ninja. I don't want to be this guy, but why is this person featured? I'm going back through older comments on his profile page, and there are almost no jokes in there. A lot of +1s and replies, a few snarky meta-comments, a lot of sloppy Drew-post commenting, and a fucking lot of chatter. Make jokes. Be funny. Quit devaluing the star.
Unstarred commenter Steve Grogan Bud Bowl MVP dropped this grouchy rant in the Scot Pollard post. Why? Why oh why? What is so hard to understand about the whole "be funny" thing? If you want to have a conversation about NBA coaching, fucking wait for DUAN.
Along the same lines, unstarred commenter HowardRoarkLaughed left a similarly not-funny story in the Ba' Game post. Dude, that's a perfectly interesting story, just save it for DUAN. Seriously.
And finally, in the Key to the City post, this so-bad-it's-almost-good offering from NobodysFault. Goddammit that's good. The whole "Mike Hunt" joke could work, it really could, but poor NobodysFault just steps all over it. Classic. Someday, I want a really talented Andy Kaufman-like commenter to come along, with the comedic genius to make his entire career out of so-bad-they're-good jokes. The person to pull this off would be my hero.
Okay. As soon as blogger starts functioning again, I'm adding links and boldface and dropping this thing. Any minute now . . . (7:06pm Thursday)
Happy DUAN. (Posted 4pm Friday)
Some favorites and a few duds from Thursday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
I laughed long and hard at this ridiculous little sequence from All Over But The Sharting in the Bartolo Colon post. I suppose at least part of my enjoyment was the where-the-hell-did-that-come-from-ness of the comment. Still, if the rule is "be funny", this comment is a smashing success.
In the Constitutional Bird post, I enjoyed this thread, featuring Tulos_Mullet, All Over But The Sharting, dont-forget-where-you-came-
Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan left perhaps my favorite comment from Thursday in the Constitutional Bird post. I laughed aloud at this one, as well.
It looks like a few people took a swing at this idea, but Hatey McLife's mercury joke, in the Hoops Training post, was obviously the best. Nice work.
Beyond his contribution to the aforementioned thread, dont-forget-where-you-came-
I was surprised this comment, in the Arthur Abraham post from Same Sad Echo, didn't draw any love today. I thought it was hysterical. He's one of the best at these silly dialogue comments.
I really enjoyed this back-and-forth between IronMikeGallego and All Over But The Sharting in the Disney post. When I finally get around to putting something together on the tricky art of replying to a joke, I will find a way to include IronMikeGallego. He's absolutely one of the very best at this.
Unstarred commenter Rare Endangered Vuvuzela had an excellent day today, first contributing this hilarious conversation joke in the Disney post, and later dropping an outstanding caption in the Ba' Game post. Both comments were promoted.
And finally, OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChrist
Total Fucking Duds
I took it a little easy again today. It helped that I skipped making any effort whatsoever to grab good or bad comments from Drew's NFL Lockout post. I thought I noticed a couple decent ones in there while reading, but as usual, the majority of gray comments were flat-out terrible, and there were innumerable conversation threads. To hell with sorting through all that shit.
Our first dud is right at the top of the Wake Up Deadspin post, from unstarred commenter BootHillBossanova. I suppose that's a reference to the LeBron/Delonte West dynamic. Whatever. It's not funny at all. So there.
Unstarred commenter BufordJustice was knocked around by the comment_ninja for the always stupid "what's the over/under" joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post. I'm trying to stay away from chronicling the behavior of the Comment Ninja Squadron (mostly because it allows me to cut down on the duds), but BufordJustice's comment makes me crazy. I realize I'm echoing the comment_ninja, but in what way is that a joke? And in what way does it make any sense? This is obviously difficult to fully understand for newer commenters, but your comments really need to be jokes, and you really can't get away with just tossing up lazy, half-formed ideas. Make your own Corleone joke, buddy.
In the NBA Playoffs post, bigredgambler used a YouTube rent-a-joke. Lazy. Make jokes.
Also in the NBA Playoffs post, blogsarefun had a totally inane internal monologue turned gray by the comment_ninja. I don't want to be this guy, but why is this person featured? I'm going back through older comments on his profile page, and there are almost no jokes in there. A lot of +1s and replies, a few snarky meta-comments, a lot of sloppy Drew-post commenting, and a fucking lot of chatter. Make jokes. Be funny. Quit devaluing the star.
Unstarred commenter Steve Grogan Bud Bowl MVP dropped this grouchy rant in the Scot Pollard post. Why? Why oh why? What is so hard to understand about the whole "be funny" thing? If you want to have a conversation about NBA coaching, fucking wait for DUAN.
Along the same lines, unstarred commenter HowardRoarkLaughed left a similarly not-funny story in the Ba' Game post. Dude, that's a perfectly interesting story, just save it for DUAN. Seriously.
And finally, in the Key to the City post, this so-bad-it's-almost-good offering from NobodysFault. Goddammit that's good. The whole "Mike Hunt" joke could work, it really could, but poor NobodysFault just steps all over it. Classic. Someday, I want a really talented Andy Kaufman-like commenter to come along, with the comedic genius to make his entire career out of so-bad-they're-good jokes. The person to pull this off would be my hero.
Okay. As soon as blogger starts functioning again, I'm adding links and boldface and dropping this thing. Any minute now . . . (7:06pm Thursday)
Happy DUAN. (Posted 4pm Friday)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Wednesday Roundup
(For our recent AzureTexan Profile in Commenting, click here.)
Some favorites and a few duds from Wednesday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
MarkKelsosMigraine put a funny spin on his recurring joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post. I really enjoyed this.
Hatey McLife delivered another couple of winners today, first dropping this Sammy Davis Jr. joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post, and later offering this rather gross quote in the Pot, Porn, & Port-a-John post. Good work.
Unstarred commenter Raysism contributed this stupendous long-form joke to the Mike Parker Napkin post. For his efforts, his comment was promoted and received a nice ovation. He's been very strong lately.
AzureTexan resurfaced again today with this absurd meandering comment in the Mike Parker Napkin post. Wit, which is itself a leavening agent, leavened with something something silly yadda yadda. I laughed aloud at this.
This comment, also in the Mike Parker Napkin post, was fat-leaveher's best in days and days. The joke itself is very funny, and the use of drunk-talk makes it all the funnier.
Our guy dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac also left a winner in the Mike Parker Napkin post. Dialogue jokes are becoming more and more common on Deadspin, and this is a great example.
I really, really enjoyed this comment, from OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas, in the Patrick Kane Photo post. That could be dialogue from a particularly raunchy Mel Brooks movie, and I somehow mean that as a compliment.
AzureTexan and All Over But The Sharting shared a terrific two-man thread in the Big Red Hat post. There weren't any epic threads today, but this was a sharp, funny conversation. AzureTexan's opening comment was a riot, and it was followed by three very funny replies.
All Over But The Sharting contributed two more humdingers today, as well: first, this all too accurate characterization of Los Angeles drivers was good for a laugh. Later, his shamefully insensitive photo-joke in the Robert Traylor post is absolutely the funniest photo-joke since the last time I praised a photo-joke. This is especially funny for anyone who remembers the classic Gary Coleman casket joke from however long ago. (Find it yerself, creep.)
Also in the Robert Traylor post, I really enjoyed this clever joke from In Re Hightower. Witty, subtle, and confidently delivered. Nice job.
Malik Sealy Dirt Mattress offered this excellent joke in the Bernard Hopkins post, demonstrating that potentially offensive humor, when handled with care, can be hugely successful. Terrific comment.
David Hume made another rare appearance today, contributing a hilarious dig at Donovan McNabb, also in the Bernard Hopkins post. He wasn't the only one to go that way, but his was the best by far.
Steve_U contributed this sharp, hilarious NBA joke to the BCS post. I laughed at this.
I also laughed at this simple Al Jolson joke, from FavreFail, in the Pot, Porn, and Port-a-John post. Nice job.
And finally, DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver's clever one-liner was good for a chuckle, also in the Pot, Porn, and Port-a-John post.
Total Fucking Duds
It's possible I was just in a good mood today, but I didn't pick out that many duds for this Roundup. The comment_ninja and FAILBOT were quite active, apparently targeting exactly the kinds of jokes and threads that have seemed to rejuvenate the commentariat in the past few weeks. Far be it from me to question the good work of the Comment Ninja Squadron (especially since I do think certain jokes or memes are getting worn out very quickly now that commenting numbers are starting to climb), but as I said, I think a long, goofy Val Kilmer or pun thread sort of infects the commentariat with a spirit of contributing and laughing and enjoying, which sure beats the shit out of where Deadspin commenting was 3 months ago. Still, if it's time, it's time.
And now, the duds:
In the Tampa Bandwagon post, unstarred commenter FloriTexaYork's giant wall of text obviously did not belong in a Deadspin comments section. DUAN exists for this exact kind of thing. Throw a "RE: the Tampa Bandwagon DUAN" at the top of that thing and fire it off to the up-all-night crowd, where it's likely to start a good conversation and won't be massively out of place.
The Black Jack Savant post brought out a lot of bad commenting, for whatever reason. Unstarred commenter Ayo dropped this lazy, predictable retread. There could be a good joke in the "Oh look, 'Black Jack' and 'savant' in a sentence in the same universe as the movie Rain Man!" premise, but then again, probably not.
Unstarred commenter Buford Justice chucked up a YouTube clip from Casino and, for reasons surpassing understanding, telecomic promoted it. Why? You just had to share your appreciation for the movie with a fellow enthusiast? For crying out loud, people.
Unstarred commenter whiskerbrisket annoyed the shit out of me with the other useless, totally unfunny Rain Man reference, also in the Black Jack Savant post. Unexpectedly, however, the slashies were the least annoying part of this comment. That's something.
In the Albert Pujols post, unstarred commenter El Guapo's clumsy, awkward dig at Tony La Russa fell flat, and I'm someone who compulsively laughs at even the mention of La Russa. This particular comment is over-cooked. Tone it back some, and there could be a half-decent joke in there.
The cheapest, most worthless comment of the day was made by unstarred commenter SwimminginEstrogen in the Big Red Hat post. Make a fucking joke, for Pete's sake.
Some guy called RonZookonRedBull had a rough day today. This clunker in the LA Billboard post is just a lousy rent-a-joke, awkwardly and randomly reworked from LA Confidential as an excuse for its inclusion in the thread. Lousy job. Later, he left this goofy thing in the Cool Announcer post, well past the point when I'd gotten tired of making this list and was annoyed by everything. Man, shape that thing up.
And finally, I'm forced to include MarkKelsosMigraine on this list, for a preemptive strike in the Shawn Kemp post. Was he right that many bogus jokes would take the low-hanging fruit and jab at Kemp's prolific child-making? Sure. Still, that's why Deadspin has a Comment Ninja Squadron. A preemptive strike isn't funny enough to qualify as a comment unless it is itself a joke, which this just isn't. MarkKelsosMigraine is obviously a commenting institution, and God knows I'm a huge fan, but I would be remiss if I didn't point this out. I will now sink into a super-massive black hole and endure eternal suffering.
Thanks for reading. Go DUAN!
Some favorites and a few duds from Wednesday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
MarkKelsosMigraine put a funny spin on his recurring joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post. I really enjoyed this.
Hatey McLife delivered another couple of winners today, first dropping this Sammy Davis Jr. joke in the Wake Up Deadspin post, and later offering this rather gross quote in the Pot, Porn, & Port-a-John post. Good work.
Unstarred commenter Raysism contributed this stupendous long-form joke to the Mike Parker Napkin post. For his efforts, his comment was promoted and received a nice ovation. He's been very strong lately.
AzureTexan resurfaced again today with this absurd meandering comment in the Mike Parker Napkin post. Wit, which is itself a leavening agent, leavened with something something silly yadda yadda. I laughed aloud at this.
This comment, also in the Mike Parker Napkin post, was fat-leaveher's best in days and days. The joke itself is very funny, and the use of drunk-talk makes it all the funnier.
Our guy dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese-mac also left a winner in the Mike Parker Napkin post. Dialogue jokes are becoming more and more common on Deadspin, and this is a great example.
I really, really enjoyed this comment, from OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas, in the Patrick Kane Photo post. That could be dialogue from a particularly raunchy Mel Brooks movie, and I somehow mean that as a compliment.
AzureTexan and All Over But The Sharting shared a terrific two-man thread in the Big Red Hat post. There weren't any epic threads today, but this was a sharp, funny conversation. AzureTexan's opening comment was a riot, and it was followed by three very funny replies.
All Over But The Sharting contributed two more humdingers today, as well: first, this all too accurate characterization of Los Angeles drivers was good for a laugh. Later, his shamefully insensitive photo-joke in the Robert Traylor post is absolutely the funniest photo-joke since the last time I praised a photo-joke. This is especially funny for anyone who remembers the classic Gary Coleman casket joke from however long ago. (Find it yerself, creep.)
Also in the Robert Traylor post, I really enjoyed this clever joke from In Re Hightower. Witty, subtle, and confidently delivered. Nice job.
Malik Sealy Dirt Mattress offered this excellent joke in the Bernard Hopkins post, demonstrating that potentially offensive humor, when handled with care, can be hugely successful. Terrific comment.
David Hume made another rare appearance today, contributing a hilarious dig at Donovan McNabb, also in the Bernard Hopkins post. He wasn't the only one to go that way, but his was the best by far.
Steve_U contributed this sharp, hilarious NBA joke to the BCS post. I laughed at this.
I also laughed at this simple Al Jolson joke, from FavreFail, in the Pot, Porn, and Port-a-John post. Nice job.
And finally, DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver's clever one-liner was good for a chuckle, also in the Pot, Porn, and Port-a-John post.
Total Fucking Duds
It's possible I was just in a good mood today, but I didn't pick out that many duds for this Roundup. The comment_ninja and FAILBOT were quite active, apparently targeting exactly the kinds of jokes and threads that have seemed to rejuvenate the commentariat in the past few weeks. Far be it from me to question the good work of the Comment Ninja Squadron (especially since I do think certain jokes or memes are getting worn out very quickly now that commenting numbers are starting to climb), but as I said, I think a long, goofy Val Kilmer or pun thread sort of infects the commentariat with a spirit of contributing and laughing and enjoying, which sure beats the shit out of where Deadspin commenting was 3 months ago. Still, if it's time, it's time.
And now, the duds:
In the Tampa Bandwagon post, unstarred commenter FloriTexaYork's giant wall of text obviously did not belong in a Deadspin comments section. DUAN exists for this exact kind of thing. Throw a "RE: the Tampa Bandwagon DUAN" at the top of that thing and fire it off to the up-all-night crowd, where it's likely to start a good conversation and won't be massively out of place.
The Black Jack Savant post brought out a lot of bad commenting, for whatever reason. Unstarred commenter Ayo dropped this lazy, predictable retread. There could be a good joke in the "Oh look, 'Black Jack' and 'savant' in a sentence in the same universe as the movie Rain Man!" premise, but then again, probably not.
Unstarred commenter Buford Justice chucked up a YouTube clip from Casino and, for reasons surpassing understanding, telecomic promoted it. Why? You just had to share your appreciation for the movie with a fellow enthusiast? For crying out loud, people.
Unstarred commenter whiskerbrisket annoyed the shit out of me with the other useless, totally unfunny Rain Man reference, also in the Black Jack Savant post. Unexpectedly, however, the slashies were the least annoying part of this comment. That's something.
In the Albert Pujols post, unstarred commenter El Guapo's clumsy, awkward dig at Tony La Russa fell flat, and I'm someone who compulsively laughs at even the mention of La Russa. This particular comment is over-cooked. Tone it back some, and there could be a half-decent joke in there.
The cheapest, most worthless comment of the day was made by unstarred commenter SwimminginEstrogen in the Big Red Hat post. Make a fucking joke, for Pete's sake.
Some guy called RonZookonRedBull had a rough day today. This clunker in the LA Billboard post is just a lousy rent-a-joke, awkwardly and randomly reworked from LA Confidential as an excuse for its inclusion in the thread. Lousy job. Later, he left this goofy thing in the Cool Announcer post, well past the point when I'd gotten tired of making this list and was annoyed by everything. Man, shape that thing up.
And finally, I'm forced to include MarkKelsosMigraine on this list, for a preemptive strike in the Shawn Kemp post. Was he right that many bogus jokes would take the low-hanging fruit and jab at Kemp's prolific child-making? Sure. Still, that's why Deadspin has a Comment Ninja Squadron. A preemptive strike isn't funny enough to qualify as a comment unless it is itself a joke, which this just isn't. MarkKelsosMigraine is obviously a commenting institution, and God knows I'm a huge fan, but I would be remiss if I didn't point this out. I will now sink into a super-massive black hole and endure eternal suffering.
Thanks for reading. Go DUAN!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday Roundup
(For our recent AzureTexan Profile in Commenting, click here.)
Some favorites and a refreshingly light helping of duds from Tuesday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Eddie Murray Sparkles had the juice today, first dropping this clever one-liner in the Wake Up Deadspin post. In the Season Tickets post, this stupendous Catch-22 joke brought the house down. Outstanding work.
All Over But The Sharting delivered this excellent long-form joke in the Luke Rodgers post, to the delight of the crowd. The structure of this joke totally obscures the punchline until the last possible second - that's good hustle.
I really enjoyed this sharp, cleverly-delivered observation from PolkPanther, also in the Luke Rodgers post. The punchline is not necessarily set up in a conventional way, but the conversational tone gives the joke character, and it's really the clever wordplay that carries the humor, anyway.
This is just a simple, wonderfully unpleasant joke, made by WhoDoYouKnowHere, in the ESPN Rug Races post. The crowd loved it.
Bevraj of Choice had a few humdingers on Tuesday. This comment, in the ESPN Rug Races post, was one of the day's best, and later, this deliciously simple joke in the Bobble Head post deserved the applause. Great job.
Also in the ESPN Rug Races post, I enjoyed Hatey McLife's knife-edged Colin Cowherd joke. Let this be a lesson to all other commenters: you can make a good Colin Cowherd joke, you just need something more than "durrhurrr Colin Cowherd sux durrrrr."
Always Winning fired off a winner with this excellent one-liner, also in the ESPN Rug Races post, earning a shower of +1s.
There was another MarkKelsosMigraine sighting, this time in the ESPN Rug Races post. That's an awesome comment, and the crowd went wild.
I laughed at this embarrassingly personal offering from OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas in the NBA Classic post. I dig silly, and this comment delivered.
Unstarred commenter StuartScottsEye checked in again today with this goofy rant in the Jet Man post. For his efforts, his comment was promoted.
And finally, a helping of +1s to Eddie Murray Sparkles, Phintastic, EddieSuttons SouthernComfort, DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver, cobra.la.la.la.la.la.la, StuartScottsEye, UweBollocks, Malik Sealy Dirt Mattress, FavreFail, Same Sad Echo, All Over But The Sharting, and Spartacoug for their contributions to yet another funny Val Kilmer thread, this time in the Jet Man post.
Total Fucking Duds
Unstarred commenter 214w is a troll. He is not attempting to be a contributor or a strong commenter. He's a lazy, sarcastic, unoriginal, humorless one-trick-pony moron. This piece-of-shit comment, in the Wake Up Deadspin post, encapsulates the entirety of his catalog of jokes. If there's a single active member of the entire commentariat who deserves to be bludgeoned with the ban-hammer, it's this guy. A glance at his commenting history is massively depressing. Put this brain-dead jackass out of his misery, already.
In the Lacrosse post, unstarred commenter HugeRetardedDuck wasted a perfectly fine joke concept with this clunky, rough-hewn, all-knees-and-elbows effort. That's too bad. Next time, take the extra minute or two and turn that thing into a lean, mean, punchline delivery machine.
Unstarred commenter sir_pantsless struggled today. This effort, in the Luke Rodgers post, lacks a punchline and may or may not even be a joke. Unfortunately, the set-up is so awkward, it's almost impossible to tell. Later, in the Bad Golf Swings post, his joke (which I cannot link to, for whatever reason) starts with an obvious pun and proceeds to a clumsily delivered dig at Asian penises. A joke could probably be made from that, but this one obviously lacks any amount of care in delivery. Once upon a time, sir_pantsless was a featured commenter named sir_pantsalot. It stands to reason he can bring the funny, recent evidence to the contrary notwithstanding.
Another unstarred commenter had a rough day: Lenny Dykstra's Roadbeef. This comment, in the ESPN Rug Races post, is not a joke, it's a yucky bros-being-bros amirite fantasy. Make jokes. Save this crap for your internal monologue. He later left a stinker in the Bad Golf Swings post (find it yourself, ingrate), awkwardly referencing an awesome meme.
Bill Simmons fan and unstarred commenter J. L. White accidentally left this ESPN.com comment in the NBA Classic post. That's understandable. For future reference, though, 'round these parts, the rule is be funny, creative, and original.
Just below him, unstarred commenter The_International_Poise_Conspiracy left this lazy photo joke. He's been around long enough to know better. The phrase "very special" is a very flimsy excuse for this comment.
Unstarred doofus CalClutterBuckFutter committed the same sin of lameness in the Wizards post. Fucking photo-jokes. Gah.
ToddReesingsTurfFacial is here again, much to our extreme disappointment, for what simply must be a compulsive need to submit comments at all costs. This thing, in the Wizards post, is way, way beneath a featured commenter, and ToddReesingsTurfFacial, though we have beaten up on him fairly relentlessly, is actually a capable, funny, worthy featured commenter. Once upon a time, as noted here previously, his specific style was esoteric, tortured, and mostly obscure, but it was admirably ambitious. For whatever reason, he doesn't seem to be swinging for the fences these days. This comment was just lazy.
And finally, unstarred commenter dondi203 tried to hide this pile of junk in the Siberian wilderness that is a Dave McKenna post, but our all-seeing turd-radar senses all. No soup for you!
That's it for the duds. It should be noted, however, that I mostly skipped the Funbag today. Drew's posts are a fucking bear. I love to read his stuff, I really do, but the comments section are a weekly depository of the worst commenting Deadspin has to offer.
Okay! Enjoy DUAN, you silly sons of bitches.
Some favorites and a refreshingly light helping of duds from Tuesday's commenting.
Favorites, in no particular order:
Eddie Murray Sparkles had the juice today, first dropping this clever one-liner in the Wake Up Deadspin post. In the Season Tickets post, this stupendous Catch-22 joke brought the house down. Outstanding work.
All Over But The Sharting delivered this excellent long-form joke in the Luke Rodgers post, to the delight of the crowd. The structure of this joke totally obscures the punchline until the last possible second - that's good hustle.
I really enjoyed this sharp, cleverly-delivered observation from PolkPanther, also in the Luke Rodgers post. The punchline is not necessarily set up in a conventional way, but the conversational tone gives the joke character, and it's really the clever wordplay that carries the humor, anyway.
This is just a simple, wonderfully unpleasant joke, made by WhoDoYouKnowHere, in the ESPN Rug Races post. The crowd loved it.
Bevraj of Choice had a few humdingers on Tuesday. This comment, in the ESPN Rug Races post, was one of the day's best, and later, this deliciously simple joke in the Bobble Head post deserved the applause. Great job.
Also in the ESPN Rug Races post, I enjoyed Hatey McLife's knife-edged Colin Cowherd joke. Let this be a lesson to all other commenters: you can make a good Colin Cowherd joke, you just need something more than "durrhurrr Colin Cowherd sux durrrrr."
Always Winning fired off a winner with this excellent one-liner, also in the ESPN Rug Races post, earning a shower of +1s.
There was another MarkKelsosMigraine sighting, this time in the ESPN Rug Races post. That's an awesome comment, and the crowd went wild.
I laughed at this embarrassingly personal offering from OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChristmas in the NBA Classic post. I dig silly, and this comment delivered.
Unstarred commenter StuartScottsEye checked in again today with this goofy rant in the Jet Man post. For his efforts, his comment was promoted.
And finally, a helping of +1s to Eddie Murray Sparkles, Phintastic, EddieSuttons SouthernComfort, DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver, cobra.la.la.la.la.la.la, StuartScottsEye, UweBollocks, Malik Sealy Dirt Mattress, FavreFail, Same Sad Echo, All Over But The Sharting, and Spartacoug for their contributions to yet another funny Val Kilmer thread, this time in the Jet Man post.
Total Fucking Duds
Unstarred commenter 214w is a troll. He is not attempting to be a contributor or a strong commenter. He's a lazy, sarcastic, unoriginal, humorless one-trick-pony moron. This piece-of-shit comment, in the Wake Up Deadspin post, encapsulates the entirety of his catalog of jokes. If there's a single active member of the entire commentariat who deserves to be bludgeoned with the ban-hammer, it's this guy. A glance at his commenting history is massively depressing. Put this brain-dead jackass out of his misery, already.
In the Lacrosse post, unstarred commenter HugeRetardedDuck wasted a perfectly fine joke concept with this clunky, rough-hewn, all-knees-and-elbows effort. That's too bad. Next time, take the extra minute or two and turn that thing into a lean, mean, punchline delivery machine.
Unstarred commenter sir_pantsless struggled today. This effort, in the Luke Rodgers post, lacks a punchline and may or may not even be a joke. Unfortunately, the set-up is so awkward, it's almost impossible to tell. Later, in the Bad Golf Swings post, his joke (which I cannot link to, for whatever reason) starts with an obvious pun and proceeds to a clumsily delivered dig at Asian penises. A joke could probably be made from that, but this one obviously lacks any amount of care in delivery. Once upon a time, sir_pantsless was a featured commenter named sir_pantsalot. It stands to reason he can bring the funny, recent evidence to the contrary notwithstanding.
Another unstarred commenter had a rough day: Lenny Dykstra's Roadbeef. This comment, in the ESPN Rug Races post, is not a joke, it's a yucky bros-being-bros amirite fantasy. Make jokes. Save this crap for your internal monologue. He later left a stinker in the Bad Golf Swings post (find it yourself, ingrate), awkwardly referencing an awesome meme.
Bill Simmons fan and unstarred commenter J. L. White accidentally left this ESPN.com comment in the NBA Classic post. That's understandable. For future reference, though, 'round these parts, the rule is be funny, creative, and original.
Just below him, unstarred commenter The_International_Poise_Conspiracy left this lazy photo joke. He's been around long enough to know better. The phrase "very special" is a very flimsy excuse for this comment.
Unstarred doofus CalClutterBuckFutter committed the same sin of lameness in the Wizards post. Fucking photo-jokes. Gah.
ToddReesingsTurfFacial is here again, much to our extreme disappointment, for what simply must be a compulsive need to submit comments at all costs. This thing, in the Wizards post, is way, way beneath a featured commenter, and ToddReesingsTurfFacial, though we have beaten up on him fairly relentlessly, is actually a capable, funny, worthy featured commenter. Once upon a time, as noted here previously, his specific style was esoteric, tortured, and mostly obscure, but it was admirably ambitious. For whatever reason, he doesn't seem to be swinging for the fences these days. This comment was just lazy.
And finally, unstarred commenter dondi203 tried to hide this pile of junk in the Siberian wilderness that is a Dave McKenna post, but our all-seeing turd-radar senses all. No soup for you!
That's it for the duds. It should be noted, however, that I mostly skipped the Funbag today. Drew's posts are a fucking bear. I love to read his stuff, I really do, but the comments section are a weekly depository of the worst commenting Deadspin has to offer.
Okay! Enjoy DUAN, you silly sons of bitches.
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